Can anyone help me with some ideas on how to improve my universe I am building?

Discussion in 'Writing' started by theflamingchuthulu, Nov 3, 2018.

  1. Catherine Franz

    Catherine Franz Ketchup Robot

    Wonder if these different types of races have a single place for the all-ruling person like how a president rules over a country or something...
  2. Moor Oakheart

    Moor Oakheart Giant Laser Beams

    Some of these things make me remember of the Avatar. You know the bender of four elements. I recently watch it again. Nostalgic sake...
  3. doubledeathrainbow

    doubledeathrainbow Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    im just an hobbyist historian, but this guy its a real writer.

    About the evilness, it might be an floran style evilness, "they dont know nothing else than its culture show them, kill the weak, eat what you kill"

    Following the new Ideas i wrote this:

    Journals of the siege of the Kalifash Station, Vol 2 Page 33

    [[...]]Dear Sasha, has been three whole weeks (earth time) since the siege started, the Dwarf ships are still doing bombing rounds every now or then, but they seem to be sending more and more every day *intelligible by damage* the life arch mages aboard the station are doing their best to heal all the wounded after every bombing, but its keeps getting harder and harder to find medical equipment to aid them in their doing.

    Our surviving commander, an old Shahar freighter captain is trying to calm everyone down, saying that we can still wait a little more, that the Shaharad Forces will arrive and drive out the blockade, but i doubt they manage to reach us before the Dwarf raiding parties manage to board the station, or that their ships destroys any vital area of the station infrastructure.

    If i dont survive, and you somehow find this letter, please know that i love you, my little elf.

    Always yours Anthon Lebain Al'theras *signed*

    Chronicler Notes: this letter was supposedly found on the body of Anthon Lebain Al'theras, petty officer in one of the many battle-cruiser attached to the Kalifash Station for repair in the moment of the siege,there's no more information about him.
  4. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Big Damn Hero

    I made a mis-post. Please delete.

    Yeah, I first thought up the idea of "Orcs fighting zombies" about two or three years ago and since it has grown and evolved. It's still a work in progress (obviously) Thank you for the compliment. Have a good day! :up:

    They have! Yes some things need smoothed out, I just had the flu and have had a head full of mucus. I'll answer some of these tomorrow.

    Okay, it has been two or three days and I am feeling great!

    As for the chakras, they are the energetic biology allowing for different types of magic, and the symbols are the activator. As for why people sometimes draw the symbols on temporarily, a user can only have one chakra activated for magical use at a time. So if you had a symbol for fire tattooed on your body, you would them only be able to use one element and kind of magic ever. But if you have them drawn on, then you can wash the symbol off and replace it with a different symbol so instead of fire only, you would be able to rub it off and then use earth magic, you can also change charge of magic this way. Elemental spirits? Yes! And they are embodiments of each element However, the spirits of elements are varying, there isn't just one earth spirit, there are many. Same goes for the other elements. And the "you cannot make something out of nothing" stuff, users have to carry some of that element with them, Are users of magic controlling the element or the spirit? The user is controlling the element, and either being guided by the spirit or they will the spirit into doing the users bidding. be blessed by a spirit of that element or control that element whenever it's around them. However, some charges like Channeled and Chaos are spirit-only and yes, Opposite elements are often time their own thing. Sort of how in physics there are the particles we know well and can easily explain, and then there are theoretical (Because none have been found) dark-matter particles. Bane magic drains the opponent of chi, then kills the spirit (If there was one helping) and if not, it blocks the chakras temporarily. And yes, I got a lot of inspiration from Avatar the Last Air Bender, along with Egyptian mythology. As for the aspect of the Law Of Equal Exchange, the thing being transmuted or exchanged is chi, the energy that flows through chakras.

    I'm still working on the culture thing, which is especially hard since this world takes place in an alternate history.
    Not all culture/countries approve of Orcs and most of the ones that don't are extremely racist.
    Why do Orcs not have much effect on offspring? Well, there are only three types of Orc from the three different continents on Naga. And as for other Half-Orc breeds from different ethnicities of Human? Yes I still need to work on that, but so far there are Elves and Brutes which can result from every human ethnical group.
    Why is Elf blood blue and not black? Yes it is true that they have the same compound in their blood as Orcs, but Orcs get their blood color from copper carbonates and bismuth, Elves, having Human blood also, they lost most of the bismuth and instead just have more copper (Which is blue or green) Orcs get their skin color from copper as well (I'm considering that some Orcs will be teal in color).

    Goblins? Thank you for pointing that out, when I wrote "evil" I meant "vile" as for their nature it is both culture and instinct, though, Goblins are indeed a true race, and make choices and have culture. they aren't so much "animals" as they are just bloodthirsty, (literally) cruel, and have a disgusting culture revolving around dominance and slaughter (Sound familiar?)

    The "gaining muscle mass by exercising" thing was a mistake, I meant to write that Cyclops cannot work out to gain muscle, but they do gain muscle by eating it, Their body just takes the protein form the meat and adds it to it's own muscles, what it doesn't use that way, it burns as what we call "dinner".

    The reaction to aliens arriving on Earth? Well, Orcs came before the Trojan War, so people at first thought that they were things like "the gods" or "the sprits embodied" or "the ancestors" or even "demons and angels". Everyone was disappointed when they found out that they weren't godly beings. As for the reaction-reaction, the main result early on was a bunch of religious wars that caused the world by modern times to be very different than it is in our history. (Work in progress! Don't even start! I'll post it when it's ready!)
    And, yes, it Orcs were rejected as a race by several cultures.

    Who is making Dominators? Well it started in New Egypt as experiments to bring the dead back to life, but they stopped once they succeeded and Alpha had started making them after killing the scientists.

    The cyclops were slaves to Dwarfs when the Dwarfs first arrived, so, people assumed that they came from Nidavellir also. As for the reasons that both Orcs and Dwarfs left their homes is a work-in-progress (Naga didn't have a mass extinction because it still has all the old life there, And no. No Orcs stayed on Naga.) By "Dense" I mean higher than Earth's gravity and the atmosphere being "extremely dense" The Dwarfs would over a few hundred generations would adapt to Earth's gravity anyway. Orcs and Dwarfs stopped at Earth because it was the closest livable planet. As for how they got to Earth Orcs used body freezers and strong sedatives, Dwarfs already have a natural hibernation and they just preserved their bodies in some thing similar. Their star system? Proxima Centaury which is 4.2 light years away. Dwarfs actually can live their whole lives without food as long as they have minerals and water. They eventually found no use for the other living things on their planet, and at the time they were extremely utilitarian and cared nothing for culture, this changed when they were re-introduced to culture and a life that was actually worth something (Sort of like in The Giver).

    Viruses brought by aliens? Yes! Dwarfs brought the Black Plague and the Orcs brought a disease that caused the flesh to blister, the Egyptians called it the plague of Egypt back during the exodus.
    Did Goblins come at the same time as Orcs? yes, they stowed away aboard Orc ships and bred over the roughly four-and a half year journey. Goblins continue to thrive in the sewers and cave systems to this day.

    BTW I forgot what day it was! Happy New Year Everybody!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2019
    Moor Oakheart likes this.
  5. Iris Blanche

    Iris Blanche Pudding Paradox Forum Moderator

    @theflamingchuthulu Please avoid double or even tripleposts. You can reply to multiple people in one post. I merged your triplepost.
  6. doubledeathrainbow

    doubledeathrainbow Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    world wars gonna be fun with these around, just saying, if jews, and in time christianity exist, i can perfectly see holy wars against the "demons from beyond the fire of hell" (the dwarfs living underground around active volcans using geotermic energy generators) and against "the monsters from the skies" (kobols and orcs)
  7. Moor Oakheart

    Moor Oakheart Giant Laser Beams

    Yeah, I guess adding story about the wars that happen in the universe could make the universe much more interesting. Just a thought though.
  8. doubledeathrainbow

    doubledeathrainbow Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Another new Chronicle.

    Chronicle of the Arh'allothr wars against the dwarf kings, Page 12 Section 22, About the battle of Al-melloh (somewhere in the Persian Empire, circa 540)

    [...] as their sacred oracle prophesied, the marching group found the creatures in the deserts around the mount el'hasasmat, near the Al-melloh village, counting up to +10000 separated units of the unknown creatures, small, human like, with bright armors and what looked like glittering lances, camping near the El'uith river, LordCommander [citation needed] Hass ordered the whole force to be diverted towards the area, trying to encircle the whole group, the persians had something close to +30000 infantry soldiers (between professional soldier, slaves, mages/sages and veteran inmortal units), and a few of their famed scythed chariots, though theres no information of what transpired during the battle, the outcome is clear, the Persian forces lost almost all units, with the few survivors telling stories about flashes of light that burner stronger than the sun coming out their lances, mages being burn from withing the exact moment they tried to launch any spell, "inmortal"s head being severed and then destroyed (thus stooping the regeration spell the used on theselves) by flying light streams that destroyed many of the chariots in a few seconds[1], LordCommander [citation needed] Hass, one of the few survivors, had his face burn by one of these light streams, having lost his sight during the attack, the last thing he supposedly saw was, something big like an elephant, but glittering like the metal of an sword, pointing it horns towards them and then the blinding light.[...]
  9. Pangaea

    Pangaea Forum Moderator

    This is about what I expected you meant in the original post. As long as you have internal consistency to your universe it's okay.

    Nice! Opens up some interesting ideas like forcibly tattooing someone with a symbol.

    Okay makes sense. Like I said before, as long as you have internal consistency and logic to world building it'll work out okay.

    I'd be careful here. Just because the general society is hateful or racist doesn't necessitate that individuals are. I imagine it would be much easier to be racist against literally different races of beings, however. Like you said, it's hard and will likely take a lot of thought to fully develop.

    Ah, I see. That's much better than what I thought you meant. Keep working on it!

    I think this could be the single most important thing you need to work on. The alternate history and how major events unfold are definitely the crux of what makes your world. I'd spend a lot of time working on this.

    And how did Alpha learn to make them? The scientists would have to have taught Alpha how to make them. Alternatively, they could have made at least one more and Alpha could have hidden and watched to learn the process. A final possibility, which, in my opinion, is kind of lame, is that Alpha has inherent knowledge of how to make them.

    Keep developing this. Even with something like nuclear propulsion it would still take nearly 100 years to travel from there to Earth. Also, the dwarfs would definitely have a hard time when first coming to Earth. Everything from bone density to intraocular and blood pressure would be affected dramatically by lower gravity and atmospheric pressure. Hell, even the space travel would seriously affect the dwarfs in an extremely negative way unless you want the spaceships to have some kind of artificial gravity.

    So they can live without oxygen? How about living with extremely acidic water? How about living on an even hotter planet because of the build up of greenhouse gases? Of course, this operates under the assumption that Nidavellir has similar atmospheric composition and vegetation to Earth. Which it essentially has to because the dwarfs can survive on both. Again, this needs a bit more work to make sense.

    Great! Answering such questions is important for (you guessed it) internal consistency and logic. Cannot emphasise enough how important those two things are for world building.

    Okay, stowaways makes sense. A 4½ year journey doesn't actually make sense. They would have to travel at nearly light speed. If the orcs possessed that kind of technology then it would only be reasonable that they had other superior technology like weapons. Given the time they arrive at Earth, the orcs could easily subjugate humanity. So why didn't they? Also, what impact did this technology (including the knowledge of how to make it) have on history? Having access to knowledge and technology beyond what we have today would be extremely significant in ~1250 BCE. Hell, even if the orcs didn't possess the technology to travel at near light speed they would still have super advanced tech that would greatly change everything on Earth.

    I hope you understand my objective in asking these questions and making these observations. I'm not trying to say anything you've thought up is stupid or bad. I'm going to say it again: the goal is to have internal logic and consistency to your universe. If something exists, there must be a reason. The characters don't necessarily have to understand it but you do. Having a lot of details about your universe is important because it gives insight into how different stories might unfold. Small or specific details won't usually come up in the story itself but you knowing and understanding them will inform your writing.

    Like I said, I think the most important thing for you to develop is the alternate history of Earth and how these different races and the existence of magic impact it. Keep it up!
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2019
  10. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Big Damn Hero

    Hey guys! It's been a loooooong time! I've been pretty busy and haven't been able to access my pc for a while...
    I would like to announce that I am working on multiple projects and one is pretty similar to this one. However, I am presently not working on this right now.
    I'd like to also announce that I am making this simply a universe. And I have seen how exited/curious you all have been about this. And I am making this a public project! Hooray!
    I would love to see all of your different versions of this universe. I'm very proud of the idea of having made a universe for others to play around with (I'm one of those people who makes stuff in other universes like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, Avatar. Just having fun making my own characters or bending types or modern-esque Lord of the Rings for example)
    And no, I'm not abandoning this world, and I will also check in and see what you've all made.
    Actually that new but similar project that I'm workingb on might just be my new take on the project.
    P.S. You can change whatever so long as the idea is similar (fantasy zombie apocalypse, fantasy stuff in space or whatever). Even if it dosn't involve magic or whatever just have good time making stuff! Have a good day my good people. ;)

Share This Page