Can anyone help me with some ideas on how to improve my universe I am building?

So, I have made a universe that is okay-ish. The style of sci fi, is (sci-fantasy?) Where there is magic, but it has a lot of limits and there is also steampunk style technology. My world takes place in the 1800s and there are two co-existing races: The Orcs, who are very technological and have perks like being able to touch red-hot metal or fire, heal twice as fast as humans and are twice as strong. And then there are Humans, who have magic but otherwise are pretty normal.

Things to do with magic: (prepare for a list!)
Users of said magic have to be feeling certain emotions. For instance a user of water magic (Hydros) need to feel sad or empathetic.
Users of fire (Pyros) have to feel vengeful or protective.
Users of metal (Ferro) have to feel very focused or have to be power-hungry and controlling.
Lightning (Voltas) have to have contradicting feelings and/or thoughts, or they have to be open minded.
Wind (Pneumaticus) need to be happy and free-flowing or in a state of rage.
Life (Animatis) is healing magic, and usually requires love (I know, I know. No gooey love stuff.)
Death (Nekros) is death magic and is draining to the victims and heals the user. (Humans nor Orcs can ever be quite evil enough to do it the "Proper way." Which takes us to the last race: The Dominators. They are pieced together dead people (Orc and Human) who have been brought back to life with a mixture of Orc's blood, Nekros, and science. They weren't created to do any harm (being created out of curiosity) but lacked souls. Or their souls are too shattered and broken, that they hate all life and despise everything. In my universe, the Dominators are true evil and they become like the Nazis.

If anyone has questions on how the magic is limited I will post that as well.

*Update!*

I have changed, well, everything. Here’s the changes... Are you ready?



Quick thing I would like to say to people who might be mistaken before we get into everything, Orcs are NOT evil, they can be, but I am not Tolkien. Some thing about being evil is more of a personal and decision based-thing, not some villain overlord stuff. If an Orc was to wipe out some city because he didn’t know how to deal with his pain in life, Then that Orc would be evil. But Orcs are in this as a race that Humans can easily relate to, and emotionally be the only truly Human-like life in the universe. Now that we have that cleared, let’s begin:





The new element system I made:

Let’s start with lightning:



Lightening is the catalyst for destruction.

Fire is the destruction.

Wind carries the dust of the destruction.

Water absorbs the dust and uses it to feed life.

Life eats the dust and changes it back into soil,

Earth enriches plant life.

Nature has formed, and now Lightning strikes and starts the cycle over.

(The ‘dust’ can be called any what ever, but it is meant to be like a phoenix rising from it’s ashes, matter that is used again and again to form life.)



Also: You cannot make something out of nothing, in order for creation to occur, something of equal value must be destroyed. However, nothing is ever truly destroyed, matter only changes form. And no, I haven’t yet seen Full Metal Alchemist.



For anyone to use magic, they must paint or tattoo a symbol pertaining to the element they wish to use (say, Chinese or Japanese characters, Runes, Hieroglyphics or Zodiacal symbols).



Magic has five charges: Chaos, Order, Channeled, Opposite and Bane or Anti-Magic. What do they do, you ask? Well:

Chaos is random erratic usually uncontrollable. It’s like the user calls upon the spirit of that element and has no control over it until it succeeds in doing what it’s master tasked it to do.



Next is Order is magic where the user has perfect control over the element. (and yes, it is bending.)

Then we have Channeled magic, where the user is more-or-less channeling the element and it unlocks instincts pertaining to it. The user is able to control their actions, but they are helped and/or guided by said element. Let’s say someone is in a fight and channels Earth, they would be still like a snake waiting to strike it’s prey and when someone is close enough the user would maul ‘em like an ape, and be strong as a land-slide But, if the user chose to channel Fire they would attack like a demon and even with the slightest flick, cause burning pain in the opponents. In fire channeling, the user attacks to inflict, not to kill. If anyone has questions on how different elements are channeled, then just ask.

And now time for Bane or Anti-Magic. In Anti-Magic, the user isn’t using the element, but weakening them and/or draining them of their strength. Anti-Water magic is stiffness, lack of movement. (Not ice!)

Opposite magic is when things get interesting, Because Opposite magic is able to be used as any previous charge, though, it effects the opposite form of that element (No dark matter, just change.) For instance, Water’s opposite is Frost because it is Water embodying it’s “Bane”, Whereas Bane of Water would be THE opposite of Water and use this to dis-empower it. And yes, you can bend this, channel this and even use the Bane of it. (Bane of Ice, but not fire, what the hell would that even be?!)




Humans are the native people of Earth and are the only race able to fully use magic along with some breeds of Half-Orc.


Orcs come from Naga (No longer Mars) and have co-existed with Humans the longest. Orcs have many traditions across tribes and are very skilled with technology. Orcs are also emotional in ways that may as well be Human. Orcs are also skilled warriors, and love a good fight. However, Orcs have very little wish to cause wars. Orcs aren’t able to use normal magic, (as they don’t have the same chakras as humans) but can use Opposite charge magic and Channeled magic. Orcs have a healing compound in their blood, this compound makes their blood have a dark black color. Orcs have green skin, tusks and only have red, amber, brown, hazel and green. Orcs have white, brown or black hair, and Pointed ears. otherwise they look like Humans that are 10 feet tall and work out a little. Different species of Orc have very little differences, the differences being build and hair color. Orcus Robustus has a broader build and white hair. Orcus Gracilis is a thin, extra tall at 10 feet and 6 inches this species is black-haired. Orcus Immanis is the most buff out of all of them with muscle mass comparable to Human body-builders. The crazy thing about Orcs is that Orcs across all species are able to gain muscle mass by exercising.


Dwarfs are from an extremely dense planet that Humans call Nidavellir after the old Norse world of darkness (and dwarfs). Dwarfs are the only living thing from Nidavellir since the Dwarfs wiped out all the other life on their home-world. They are the most selfish race, and the most industrial, having used their whole planet as nothing but a mine since their technological peak. Dwarfs discovered Earth sometime after Orcs, though, it’s hard to say exactly when since Dwarfs are bad at keeping history and have mostly lived underground on Earth because sunlight causes them skin-calcification and coma. Dwarfs however aren’t all bad, They are loyal to certain people in their life, usually people who they have known for a long time, and they only trust those people or those people’s other close friends. Dwarfs have no hearing organs so they instead feel vibrations through the ground and walls. and all Dwarfs are mute, so they communicate using a language similar to Morse-code. Dwarfs have gray skin and beady black eyes. They have black hair.


Half-Orcs are half Human, half Orc, hence the name. There are actually six breeds of Half-Orc: Elf, Brute, Yeti, Imp and Daemon. Half-Orcs have some characteristics of either race.


Goblins are a truly evil race of disgusting reptiles that eat not only the flesh of all creatures but also their own kind. Goblins are the only other race to originate on Naga. Goblins have very little culture, but all Goblin clans have rules that the weak are to be killed and eaten. They have a disturbingly Human-like face with slit-pupil eyes and teeth like an angler fish and a very lizard-ish body with claws, and long tail. The males have manes of feather-like fur stuff along their back (Best description ever).


Cyclopes are a race of giants who’s origin was long forgotten. It is often believed that they came from Nidavellir before the Dwarfs wiped out all the life there. Cyclops aren’t evil creatures, but Cyclops are born hunters and can only eat a diet of meat. Cyclops however will not eat most intelligent beings (except one). Cyclops also have compassion for things that are smaller than them, there is one exception though: Dwarfs. Cyclops have poor depth-perception and therefore are always moving around so that they can triangulate distance. Cyclops are very intelligent creatures. Cyclops have been used by Dwarfs as slaves at varying times, making Cyclops deeply hate Dwarfs. Dwarfs are in fact, the only race that Cyclops really ever eat, as the Cyclops that eat other intelligent beings are effected by a mental disease that enhances their predatory instincts and makes them uncontrollably bloodthirsty.


Dominators are a race of dead people brought back to life using Orc’s blood, Bane of Life magic, trans-humanism, and Franken-style surgery. They hate all living things and wish to rule all, They are led by Alpha, the first Dominator. Dominators have no emotions other than hatred, revenge and pain. They are kept alive by drinking blood and stealing life-force energy. Dominators have no memory of their life, and thus are always in pain and they hate all life because they forgot what it was like to truly live, and they seek revenge on all for they know not who to blame. They are cold as frozen soil, and at once, their wrath a searing flame. Born of dead and living, Man, and machine. They have no soul that isn’t fractured beyond repair, they are the Half-born, the Frost-burn, the Vengeful, They are the Dominating Dead.



Half-Orc breeds:



Elves are the most magically potent, being able to use all types of magic, and also heal as fast as Orcs do. Elves are uncommon, as the traits for one to be born are double-recessive. Elves are very Human in appearance except for their three-fingered hands and their pronounced canine teeth. Elves only have these three eye colors: Amber, blue and green. They have a blue-ish, to green-ish colored blood.


Brutes also have Human skin-tones and colors, but the only eye color Brutes can have is varying shades of red. Brutes have tusks on their upper jaw like a boar, and are always extremely muscular. Brutes seem to lack the healing properties of Orcs, but do indeed have their Orc parent’s strength. Brutes have extremely high adrenaline and usually can’t feel any pain for days after an injury. Brutes are non-magical.


Yetis are extremely hairy, and are quite large standing at 15 feet tall. Monsters have tusks on their chin and also have horns on their forehead. They have extremely thick skin that is very bullet resistant. Commonly found in forests and generally are called ‘Horn-apes’ ‘Big-foot’ and ‘Sasquatch’ they are rarely found in society due to their isolationist and lonesome nature. They likely have such nature because they were rejected by society at a young age and run away to live in the wilderness even if they are loved and cared for by their parents feeling that they don’t belong in the world. Monster’s physical traits come from an extremely rare genetic condition in Orcs that has yet to be identified.


Imps are an all-female breed, and have green skin and magic, and have a thin Human build and impish face (in which they get their name.) Imps have only been known to have dark hair, and are only born of Greek and Orcish ancestry. Imps are highly social, putting them in stark contrast against Yetis.


Daemons are rejected by most all of Western-civilization for their devilish appearance. They have black blood and small horns on their forehead. The only kind of magic that they can use is fire magic. This breed is born of Asian and Orcish ancestry.

 

So, you're making your own universe, it is some sort of story then, right? So how are the relation between them?

 

Yes, it is a story. The Orcs and the Humans have just made peace after a forty-year war and things are still sketchy in their shared civilization. Science is rapidly advancing because of magic and users of magic are becoming more dangerous since they can use technology to strengthen magic, making the world a more and more dangerous place. The main characters (still working on them) are an Orc, a Human, and some other that I haven't decided. Who have to put aside their history and differences and stand together to fight the rising threat of the Dominators.
I also have considered making it so that people who use magic are also considered "enemies" along with the Orcs.

 

How about adding the background for each race? I mean make a separated story telling their background, how they are formed, who is their leader, what important event that change them, and others.

 

ok, I'll work on that. I was considering Orcs being an alien race that invaded earth because their world was dying.

 

Good luck, then!

 

We need moar evil races!!! maybe make them some sort of..oher-race-hating uhh race that makes everything that aren't their kind a slave or something >w>

 

Yay! I'm not the only Avatar fan!
this is an idea to make I came up with to make magic more unique is that magic is limited to the users capabilities. Ex, metal can lift anything twice the user's body weight but not any more than that without powerful magnetic generators. Water is only movable if at most five times the user's blood volume. Fire is hard to keep burning or to make hot because it will burn the user if hot enough. Lightning can only be arced across the user or metal/water (you get the idea.) so people use cables or weapons for it. Air needs steady breathing and can cause suffocation in the user if the user makes air pressure to low (respirators). Life as an element cannot be enhanced technologically.

As for that bit you wrote great work!
Another Idea that has struck me is that Orcs are well-dressed and have a strong warrior tradition even though they are so technological.

 

These all sounds like The Lord of the Ring. How about add a bit essence of Star Wars. Combine them both and I think it could make something interesting.

 

Like laser guns and spaceships? There could possibly be some space travel. And then the idea of the Dominators being an inter-planetary problem sounds cool! I mean the zombies in space type of thing always struck me as interesting and very realistic. Maybe since science and magic are progressing together at some point the two races fully accept each other and fight the rising Dominators in space. . .

 

That's sounds awesome! Imagine a wizard and a trooper fight evils together. It is like Gandalf and Captain Rex working together (I think I watched to much fantasy and sci-fi movie).

 

Yeah! And also technology in Star wars is kind of steampunk in ways sometimes so yeah it could really work! I actually considered how people would travel far reaches of space and since there is magic portals would make sense.
Considering what Catherine Franz said there should be more races (especially evil ones) and am working on them now.

 

Okay, firstly, you are awesome at writing this sort of stuff! And thanks for the tip on history/lore/world building. Some thing I have considered is to tell the story from both the Human and Orcish sides of the war. Most of it of it will take place in the far past, during the enitiall first landing and invasion of the Orcs. Plus it's fun to write about Earth (Terra) in an alien perspective.
*Edit*
Actually I'm considering screwing around with the timeline. In a way where you can't exactly tell if it takes place in a post-apocalypse world.

 

You really have a broad and vast imagination! I can't really imagine the thing you have imagined. Great work, I believe it took many of your times to think about it!

 

Wonder if these different types of races have a single place for the all-ruling person like how a president rules over a country or something...

 

Some of these things make me remember of the Avatar. You know the bender of four elements. I recently watch it again. Nostalgic sake...

 

I made a mis-post. Please delete.

Yeah, I first thought up the idea of "Orcs fighting zombies" about two or three years ago and since it has grown and evolved. It's still a work in progress (obviously) Thank you for the compliment. Have a good day!

They have! Yes some things need smoothed out, I just had the flu and have had a head full of mucus. I'll answer some of these tomorrow.

Okay, it has been two or three days and I am feeling great!

As for the chakras, they are the energetic biology allowing for different types of magic, and the symbols are the activator. As for why people sometimes draw the symbols on temporarily, a user can only have one chakra activated for magical use at a time. So if you had a symbol for fire tattooed on your body, you would them only be able to use one element and kind of magic ever. But if you have them drawn on, then you can wash the symbol off and replace it with a different symbol so instead of fire only, you would be able to rub it off and then use earth magic, you can also change charge of magic this way. Elemental spirits? Yes! And they are embodiments of each element However, the spirits of elements are varying, there isn't just one earth spirit, there are many. Same goes for the other elements. And the "you cannot make something out of nothing" stuff, users have to carry some of that element with them, Are users of magic controlling the element or the spirit? The user is controlling the element, and either being guided by the spirit or they will the spirit into doing the users bidding. be blessed by a spirit of that element or control that element whenever it's around them. However, some charges like Channeled and Chaos are spirit-only and yes, Opposite elements are often time their own thing. Sort of how in physics there are the particles we know well and can easily explain, and then there are theoretical (Because none have been found) dark-matter particles. Bane magic drains the opponent of chi, then kills the spirit (If there was one helping) and if not, it blocks the chakras temporarily. And yes, I got a lot of inspiration from Avatar the Last Air Bender, along with Egyptian mythology. As for the aspect of the Law Of Equal Exchange, the thing being transmuted or exchanged is chi, the energy that flows through chakras.

I'm still working on the culture thing, which is especially hard since this world takes place in an alternate history.
Not all culture/countries approve of Orcs and most of the ones that don't are extremely racist.
Why do Orcs not have much effect on offspring? Well, there are only three types of Orc from the three different continents on Naga. And as for other Half-Orc breeds from different ethnicities of Human? Yes I still need to work on that, but so far there are Elves and Brutes which can result from every human ethnical group.
Why is Elf blood blue and not black? Yes it is true that they have the same compound in their blood as Orcs, but Orcs get their blood color from copper carbonates and bismuth, Elves, having Human blood also, they lost most of the bismuth and instead just have more copper (Which is blue or green) Orcs get their skin color from copper as well (I'm considering that some Orcs will be teal in color).

Goblins? Thank you for pointing that out, when I wrote "evil" I meant "vile" as for their nature it is both culture and instinct, though, Goblins are indeed a true race, and make choices and have culture. they aren't so much "animals" as they are just bloodthirsty, (literally) cruel, and have a disgusting culture revolving around dominance and slaughter (Sound familiar?)

The "gaining muscle mass by exercising" thing was a mistake, I meant to write that Cyclops cannot work out to gain muscle, but they do gain muscle by eating it, Their body just takes the protein form the meat and adds it to it's own muscles, what it doesn't use that way, it burns as what we call "dinner".

The reaction to aliens arriving on Earth? Well, Orcs came before the Trojan War, so people at first thought that they were things like "the gods" or "the sprits embodied" or "the ancestors" or even "demons and angels". Everyone was disappointed when they found out that they weren't godly beings. As for the reaction-reaction, the main result early on was a bunch of religious wars that caused the world by modern times to be very different than it is in our history. (Work in progress! Don't even start! I'll post it when it's ready!)
And, yes, it Orcs were rejected as a race by several cultures.

Who is making Dominators? Well it started in New Egypt as experiments to bring the dead back to life, but they stopped once they succeeded and Alpha had started making them after killing the scientists.

The cyclops were slaves to Dwarfs when the Dwarfs first arrived, so, people assumed that they came from Nidavellir also. As for the reasons that both Orcs and Dwarfs left their homes is a work-in-progress (Naga didn't have a mass extinction because it still has all the old life there, And no. No Orcs stayed on Naga.) By "Dense" I mean higher than Earth's gravity and the atmosphere being "extremely dense" The Dwarfs would over a few hundred generations would adapt to Earth's gravity anyway. Orcs and Dwarfs stopped at Earth because it was the closest livable planet. As for how they got to Earth Orcs used body freezers and strong sedatives, Dwarfs already have a natural hibernation and they just preserved their bodies in some thing similar. Their star system? Proxima Centaury which is 4.2 light years away. Dwarfs actually can live their whole lives without food as long as they have minerals and water. They eventually found no use for the other living things on their planet, and at the time they were extremely utilitarian and cared nothing for culture, this changed when they were re-introduced to culture and a life that was actually worth something (Sort of like in The Giver).

Viruses brought by aliens? Yes! Dwarfs brought the Black Plague and the Orcs brought a disease that caused the flesh to blister, the Egyptians called it the plague of Egypt back during the exodus.
Did Goblins come at the same time as Orcs? yes, they stowed away aboard Orc ships and bred over the roughly four-and a half year journey. Goblins continue to thrive in the sewers and cave systems to this day.

BTW I forgot what day it was! Happy New Year Everybody!