Can anyone help me with some ideas on how to improve my universe I am building?

Discussion in 'Writing' started by theflamingchuthulu, Nov 3, 2018.

  1. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Space Spelunker

    So, I have made a universe that is okay-ish. The style of sci fi, is (sci-fantasy?) Where there is magic, but it has a lot of limits and there is also steampunk style technology. My world takes place in the 1800s and there are two co-existing races: The Orcs, who are very technological and have perks like being able to touch red-hot metal or fire, heal twice as fast as humans and are twice as strong. And then there are Humans, who have magic but otherwise are pretty normal.

    Things to do with magic: (prepare for a list!)
    Users of said magic have to be feeling certain emotions. For instance a user of water magic (Hydros) need to feel sad or empathetic.
    Users of fire (Pyros) have to feel vengeful or protective.
    Users of metal (Ferro) have to feel very focused or have to be power-hungry and controlling.
    Lightning (Voltas) have to have contradicting feelings and/or thoughts, or they have to be open minded.
    Wind (Pneumaticus) need to be happy and free-flowing or in a state of rage.
    Life (Animatis) is healing magic, and usually requires love (I know, I know. No gooey love stuff.)
    Death (Nekros) is death magic and is draining to the victims and heals the user. (Humans nor Orcs can ever be quite evil enough to do it the "Proper way." Which takes us to the last race: The Dominators. They are pieced together dead people (Orc and Human) who have been brought back to life with a mixture of Orc's blood, Nekros, and science. They weren't created to do any harm (being created out of curiosity) but lacked souls. Or their souls are too shattered and broken, that they hate all life and despise everything. In my universe, the Dominators are true evil and they become like the Nazis.

    If anyone has questions on how the magic is limited I will post that as well.
     
  2. Moor Al-Malik

    Moor Al-Malik Sandwich Man

    So, you're making your own universe, it is some sort of story then, right? So how are the relation between them?
     
  3. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Space Spelunker

    Yes, it is a story. The Orcs and the Humans have just made peace after a forty-year war and things are still sketchy in their shared civilization. Science is rapidly advancing because of magic and users of magic are becoming more dangerous since they can use technology to strengthen magic, making the world a more and more dangerous place. The main characters (still working on them) are an Orc, a Human, and some other that I haven't decided. Who have to put aside their history and differences and stand together to fight the rising threat of the Dominators.
    I also have considered making it so that people who use magic are also considered "enemies" along with the Orcs.
     
  4. Moor Al-Malik

    Moor Al-Malik Sandwich Man

    How about adding the background for each race? I mean make a separated story telling their background, how they are formed, who is their leader, what important event that change them, and others.
     
  5. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Space Spelunker

    ok, I'll work on that. I was considering Orcs being an alien race that invaded earth because their world was dying.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018 at 9:30 AM
  6. Moor Al-Malik

    Moor Al-Malik Sandwich Man

    Good luck, then! :)
     
  7. Catherine Franz

    Catherine Franz Big Damn Hero

    We need moar evil races!!! maybe make them some sort of..oher-race-hating uhh race that makes everything that aren't their kind a slave or something >w>
     
  8. doubledeathrainbow

    doubledeathrainbow Big Damn Hero

    thats basically avatar explanation for the elements you oxymoron
    but playing with it, think this, create an small text about it, and start building from there, something like this:

    Year 14 of the High lord Horad'kang of the orc tribe of Tharadom.
    We the Irmin'har, great warriors of lady Nathaela of the Imgrant'ur nation traveled for months by now, through the deep jungles of the imarith region in search of the "sacred" "Pond of the Void" an place in the jungle capable of overpowering magical users, and artifacts wich enter in contact with it, we havent found it yet, but found something unnerving, the dominator's presence in the area has increased exponentially since the last contact 3 years ago, our sages think they might be looking for the same thing than us, but as we aproach the border of the imishteran region, exiting the deep jungle from the north, the precense increase instead of decreasing, as our sage told us, we send this menssage soo the clerics at the main temple may try and pry through the visions of our lady into the area, and see if they can find out the source of the Dominator's precense in the area, as the close villages of Theranment in the north, and Cristal's shade on the east may be in danger of an undead overrun happening any time soon.

    Sincerely yours in the light of our Lady.
    Sir. Kamian Ur
    Great listener of Our Lady, viscount of Lamior Landing, Commander of the Expeditionary force.
     
    theflamingchuthulu likes this.
  9. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Space Spelunker

    Yay! I'm not the only Avatar fan!
    this is an idea to make I came up with to make magic more unique is that magic is limited to the users capabilities. Ex, metal can lift anything twice the user's body weight but not any more than that without powerful magnetic generators. Water is only movable if at most five times the user's blood volume. Fire is hard to keep burning or to make hot because it will burn the user if hot enough. Lightning can only be arced across the user or metal/water (you get the idea.) so people use cables or weapons for it. Air needs steady breathing and can cause suffocation in the user if the user makes air pressure to low (respirators). Life as an element cannot be enhanced technologically.

    As for that bit you wrote great work!
    Another Idea that has struck me is that Orcs are well-dressed and have a strong warrior tradition even though they are so technological.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018 at 9:34 AM
  10. Moor Al-Malik

    Moor Al-Malik Sandwich Man

    These all sounds like The Lord of the Ring. How about add a bit essence of Star Wars. Combine them both and I think it could make something interesting.
     
  11. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Space Spelunker

    Like laser guns and spaceships? There could possibly be some space travel. And then the idea of the Dominators being an inter-planetary problem sounds cool! I mean the zombies in space type of thing always struck me as interesting and very realistic. Maybe since science and magic are progressing together at some point the two races fully accept each other and fight the rising Dominators in space. . .
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2018 at 9:42 AM
  12. Moor Al-Malik

    Moor Al-Malik Sandwich Man

    That's sounds awesome! Imagine a wizard and a trooper fight evils together. It is like Gandalf and Captain Rex working together (I think I watched to much fantasy and sci-fi movie).
     
    theflamingchuthulu likes this.
  13. theflamingchuthulu

    theflamingchuthulu Space Spelunker

    Yeah! And also technology in Star wars is kind of steampunk in ways sometimes so yeah it could really work! I actually considered how people would travel far reaches of space and since there is magic portals would make sense.
    Considering what Catherine Franz said there should be more races (especially evil ones) and am working on them now.
     
    Moor Al-Malik likes this.

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