Between Blood, The Stars, and The Heart - An Avali/Starbound Fanfiction

Discussion in 'Writing' started by Gilligan Lanley, Mar 14, 2016.

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What will the name of the Story be?

Poll closed Mar 17, 2016.
  1. Current Place Holder Title

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Adventures of the Lone Avali

    46.2%
  3. DoaLA: Retold

    15.4%
  4. Between Blood, The Stars, and The Heart

    76.9%
  5. The Skyfire Chronicles

    38.5%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Master Automan IV

    Master Automan IV Phantasmal Quasar

    A little skit...

    "Dad? Where do Floran baby's come from?"

    "Well son... You see when a daddy Floran and mommy Floran I love each other sooooooooo much, they rub there butts together."

    "And then like magic a new Floran baby is born!"

    "Ummm, thanks dad."

    "YO Fire-staber let's have kids!!!"

    Many failed attempts of having Floran baby's.
    Little Billy never had a child with his Floran girlfriend...:cry::down::wtf:
     
    Gilligan Lanley likes this.
  2. Lodish

    Lodish Black Hole Surfer

    I laughed in such a way that I scared myself :lolwut:
     
    Relten and Gilligan Lanley like this.
  3. Gilligan Lanley

    Gilligan Lanley Space Kumquat

    Hehe... booty-popin.
     
  4. The Squid

    The Squid Oxygen Tank

    Apologies to everyone I killed with my GIF in the other thread. I was unaware it was so dangerous ;-;
     
  5. Master Automan IV

    Master Automan IV Phantasmal Quasar

    And it was that day...
    3/14
    The great day of the GIF...
    Where many lives were lost...
    By the hands of an evil squid named...
    SQUID!!!
     
    sirlorb and Gilligan Lanley like this.
  6. Lodish

    Lodish Black Hole Surfer

    I...I want to see that GIF, with my own eyes. I feel like I have to.
     
    The Squid and Gilligan Lanley like this.
  7. Gilligan Lanley

    Gilligan Lanley Space Kumquat

  8. Gilligan Lanley

    Gilligan Lanley Space Kumquat

    A new title suggestion has been submitted! "The Skyfire Chronicles."
     
    The Squid and Relten like this.
  9. Lodish

    Lodish Black Hole Surfer

    My eyes suddenly became red, the same color as when you try to poke them with a scissor.

    And yay for this title proposal!
     
  10. Gilligan Lanley

    Gilligan Lanley Space Kumquat

    As well, anyone can change their vote if they so desire and can vote for 2 different entries. :nuruhappy:
     
  11. Combozone

    Combozone Existential Complex

    it's SNUCK
    AGHGHGHGH
     
  12. Master Automan IV

    Master Automan IV Phantasmal Quasar

    Grammer Nazi alert!!!
     
    Gilligan Lanley likes this.
  13. Combozone

    Combozone Existential Complex

    so about the prologue
    the basis of it is pretty good, you've got most of your details right
    i keep finding these little jumps in the story, where there isn't a connection between an action and the next
    for example:
    pulling out several feathers as she breaks free from the rope bondage.
    Damn that hurt… I’m probably bleeding now… I should get this patched up soon.
    Drip, drip, fizz. The sound of Nezun’s blood evaporating as it hits the metal flooring.

    these little jumps may not seem like much, but it interrupts the flow of how the reader reads
    if you are doing it from Nezun's perspective, do it in your thought process: how exactly would you, yourself, describe the environment, what's happening, etc.
     
    Gilligan Lanley likes this.
  14. The Squid

    The Squid Oxygen Tank

    Anything with the word "Chronicles" in it is great. :up:
     
    Gilligan Lanley and Relten like this.
  15. Gilligan Lanley

    Gilligan Lanley Space Kumquat

    Yeah, I rushed to get the prologue out the door. I didn't have it proofread; which I should have, but meh. It'll be proofreading from here on out!
    Pretty much this. It was another late night of writing and I wanted to get out and up before bed.

    EDIT: I really should stop writing so late at night.
     
  16. Gilligan Lanley

    Gilligan Lanley Space Kumquat

    Lads and Lasses, the polls are closed and the new title has been chosen! Thanks to everyone for pitching in and voting on your title choice! Now it's my turn to deliver some story for you guys! (Not yet though, work comes first, then story!) So stay tuned and I shall keep (or at least try to) everyone up to date with possible post dates. Until then, thanks for voting! :nuruflirt:
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2016
  17. Lodish

    Lodish Black Hole Surfer

    This title is classy as hell, I definitely love it!
     
    Relten and Gilligan Lanley like this.
  18. Gilligan Lanley

    Gilligan Lanley Space Kumquat

    The complete Prologue is now up! (Yes, I did purposefully leave the prologue unfinished. fyte meh m8:nurunega:)
     
    sirlorb, Relten and Firepaw Da Cat like this.
  19. Lodish

    Lodish Black Hole Surfer

    Next part: Nezun presses E on the teleporter!
    Great intro tho :nuruhappy:
     
    Relten and Gilligan Lanley like this.
  20. Master Automan IV

    Master Automan IV Phantasmal Quasar

    Act 24: Nezun finds the clone of the tentical monster that destroyed earth, that is also genetically superior.
    Act 30: Nezun essentially becomes Link and Chrono combined. But is female.
    Act 128: Mira.... Wait what does she do in the plot?
    Act 69: Something happens related to-
    Oh you know what happens

    Man this theory crafting is... Is strange

    Oh and the prologue so far is good.
     
    Gilligan Lanley and Lodish like this.

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