Apple Pie Conspiracy Theory

But some chests are actually referred to as "Ancient". The pie should also be ancient. In addition, putting new pie in an ancient chest that is likely partly destroyed by nature would render it inadequate for consumption, as it would be contaminated.

 

Preservatives my friend.... preservatives

 

The amount of preservatives that would be required to keep something of this nature preserved could easily kill someone.

 

Certain peppers are lethal if ingested. And apple pie doesn't set you on fire unless the apple pie is also on fire when you eat it. In which case, why are you trying to eat a flaming pastry?

 

And why would such spices be in apple pie that clearly heals you?

EDIT: It could just be too hot and not on fire.

 

An ancient race of advanced cooks created an apple pie that would never go cold. Some thought it the greatest culinary achievement of their time, others considered it an unnatural abomination of pastry.
Civil war erupted until one of the sides cut the pie in to eight even slices known as the Pieces of Pie. Each of these slices were entrusted to eight agents who scattered the crispy dessert across the universe so that they could never again cause strife.

Legend says that whomever finds all eight pieces can use the pie to unite or enslave the universe as it's supreme ruler of all......oh wait.....you ate it? Never mind

 

Hylotl main storyline confirmed.

 

looting that chest must have been easy as pie

 

Okay, we're done here. We can all go home now.

 

OH MY GLOB! My new number one feature request is now: all castle wall blocks now have a 1% chance to produce a fully cooked chicken dinner when mined/shattered.

Screw content and balancing! This is now TOP PRIORITY!!

 

Same reason why there's still fresh produce found in ancient Nordic ruins across Skyrim, OP.

 

Sorbic acids and calcium propanoate.

 

Huh.
Sounds like Skyrim logic.

EDIT: damn, didn't read all comments. Ninja'd. Damn you, Pizzarugi. xD