Apple Pie Conspiracy Theory

A FRESH SLICE OF APPLE PIE 1000 FEET BELOW THE SURFACE?

What are perfectly sliced and completely edible foods doing in supposedly ancient chests beneath the world? They don't have any adverse effects to eating them and they give the burned debuff, implying that they are hot and just came out of the oven. There is only one explanation for this...

There is someone watching us and bestowing upon us wonderful slices of crumb-filled apple goodness, even in our dire times of survival, they scout ahead and place their pies where they know we will go.

All silliness aside, why are there brand new slices of apple pie just lying around?

 

For the same reason that we can walk through an Avian village, steal everything they own and they don't even care.

 

Who said it was "fresh?"

 

I found a poop sewage dungeon underground

so yea...

and the only thing inside was a chest with a crafting table

talk about weird then disappointment

 

It gives you the burned debuff. The only reason apple pie would do that is if it were new, as it would burn your tongue.

 

It could be very spicy pie.

 

I don't think spices cause physical harm to a degree where they would register on the HUD. Burning your tongue, however, would.

 

It doesn't hurt you, I think the 'burned' debuff is just a placeholder because apple pie actually gives you a pretty good movement speed.

 

Depends how old it is. One hell of an old pie may just burn your inside like molten lava

 

Okay, well, there's still the issue of fresh apple pie under the planet'a crust.

 

WHAT'S IN THE CHEST!?!?!

 

But wouldn't it look the part? Apple pie falls apart within about a week but the sprite is clearly a perfectly shaped an colored apple pie slice.

 

The same reason I find steak in avian catacombs.

 

HOW is this an issue? It's a game, what are random clothes doing in chests far below the surface.

 

JUST LIKE WALL CHICKEN

 

Like there is any other kind that should ever exist!

 

It's a magical apple pie slice.

 

Well maybe there were people there before and they brought a change of clothes and they happened to leave their rainbow cape and reed organ underground.

 

Asking why strange things occur in video games is kind of pointless. Might as well ask why we can jump several times higher than we are tall, or how weapons are managing to generate fire and lightning when we swing them, or why I can pickax my way into the planet's mantle, which we haven't managed to do on earth with incredibly powerful and utterly massive mining drills.

 

Well then there you go, they left you pie.

 

...You, sir, have just won the thread. Congratulations.