Okay, so, I put this together in an hour or so... And I don't usually write in the "story" format so to speak. I'm typically a dialogue and screenwriting kind of guy... But, I decided to try this out. Our hero awakens from a slumber that was not of his choosing… All he can see is snow… and ice. The only things distinguishable amongst the wintery landscape are the parts of his ship, scattered all around him. “Ugh… I need to work on my landings.” The hero tried to recollect his memories… “I need to recollect my memories.” I just said that. “Indeed, I did just say that.” You aren’t supposed to talk to me, remember, I’m the narrator? “Hey! You can’t tell me what to do, you’re just another one of my personalities!” Great, there goes the surprise twist ending to this story. “Oops… Um… Maybe you should get back to doing your job.” Anyways… The hero ponders for but a moment, only to realize just exactly where he is. “Marcon… Aw crap.” Crap indeed - “- Maybe you should explain why this place sucks?” Geez, what a great idea. “You know what they say… great minds think alike.” You’d hope that at the very least the same mind could think alike… Anyways, Marcon was a desolate wasteland… Probably due to the nuclear warheads. During the early space-faring years, humans happened upon this frozen planet, and sought to gather once precious fresh water. As with most attempts to drain a planet of its resources, there was some resistance from the native alien race – a group of bear-men. The humans at this point weren’t really concerned so much with learning about other cultures and all that good stuff, so they simply took to waging a war against these people. The bear-men fought well. Probably due to the fact that they were freakin’ bear people. Warriors by trade, the bear-men were able to fend off the humans for several years. Even with their technology, humans could not defeat the bear-people. After 10 or so odd years, the humans resorted to the nuclear option. Originally resisted due to the fact that it would contaminate the water they were fighting for… Regardless, they struck with their nuclear weapons. Most of them died during the strike, but the ones who did suffered a prolonged death amongst the nuclear fallout… The humans, now satisfied with their victory, left the planet to its own demise, and officially sanctioned this planet to be “inhabitable”, and “dry of any resources”. For the last century or so, humans’ galactic policy changed to prevent anything like the Marcon Incident from happening again. Now humans are more concerned with learning from these other races, and with respecting other worlds… “So yeah, this place sucks. There’s no one here. There’s nothing here to survive off of. And I should be dead of radiation poisoning… Why am I not dead?” Uh… Are you asking me? You do remember that I’m just the narrator… “Oh yeah. Well, maybe it’s all cleared up or something. I’m no scientist.” No, our hero was not a scientist. He was merely a… I’m sorry, I can’t say this. “Yes you can.” (Sigh…) He was a “Space-Faring Adventurer of Epicness”, on a quest for “booty” of all kinds… “(Ladies…)” You sound like a pre-pubescent child. “And you sound like a pretentious prick, which is why we get along so well.” Our hero, after presenting to the audience what kind of fourth wall breaking guy he is, decided to walk off into the distance, searching for something… Anything. “Not like I’ve got anything better to do.” But then! Suddenly! Something exciting actually happens! “Gah!” In front of our hero, the snow begins to move… It begins to shape itself into a round ball… with a carrot, buttons… and a top hat. “Fresssssssh meat….” It hissed. “Gah! The snow in the shape of a snowman’s face just hissed at me!” Thanks Captain Obvious. Soon, many more snowballs begin to form… They combined and formed more elaborate bodies of snow… 100s, thousands of these snowmen began to encircle our hero. All carrying various weapons made of ice. “Arrrrre youuuu ready to dieeeee?” one of the scary-a** snowmen asked. “Uh… just one thing.” “Okayyyyy?” “Where did the rest of your parts come from? I mean, I get where the snow came from… It’s a frozen wasteland… but –“ CHOP! The mAn. Of snow!!!! Put an ax-a-rooni in our zEro’s head/dead/said/wed. DIDDLY DIDDLY DOO. “Great, you messed up my narrator. I’ll have to take the time to develop another complex personalit-…” *thud* “…Isssss he?” “Yesssss… The humannnn… is ourssssss… Take himmmm to the cave…” So, yeah. This story is really just kind of an idea for a mission in Starbound... In which the hero must investigate the disappearances occurring in the vicinity of this specific planet. Let me know what you all think! PS If explanation is needed for some of the... odder parts, let me know.
Great story! I liked the 4th wall jokes lol. This would be an awesome mission in the game and I love the idea of fighting a never-ending radioactive snowman army (if they are radioactive) and defending yourself while trying to find a way to escape. This reminds me of Alvin Flummox's zombie survival mode idea.
Why thank you my good sir, I am glad you appreciated my odd approach to story telling. I typically do film scripts (which have simple descriptions of actions, and mostly dialogue), so this was kind of new to me. I like that idea as well actually, though I'm thinking this mission could be a mystery of some sort, the story I wrote here being just another tale of one of the victims (albeit, the oddest one of them). I think it could be interesting if done right... which is something I'll toy with in the mission editor when the game comes out (I believe there's a mission editor...) Oh, and yes, these Snowmen are indeed radioactive.
Glad to see you trying out new things Oh yeah that's right they mentioned a mission editor you could mess with and have your friends play your created missions. I'd like to see this mission/mystery put into the game and if not I hope there is a way to upload and share one's own created missions because I would love to experience something like this as a side-quest or even the main story (although I know nothing of the main storyline and how this could be implemented).
I really appreciate that man. If I end up making this mission, and if there is any way of possibly uploading it, you will be the first to know. If I make it that is haha... I tend to get distracted.
Thanks! Lol I'm the same way. It's easy to come up with concepts and ideas but to carry them out takes focus and determination. I have plenty of determination but focus is something I'm working on.
