Story A Rusty Knife (NSFL. Later chapters contain minor gore.)

Yes, minor gore in the later chapters. But the gore will not be there for no reason, I assure you.
Chapter 1

I waited at the end of the hall, staring at the tacky decorations. A glass table with nothing on it and 8 yellow chairs. I was bored, like the other 7 people who got to go before me. At least they didn't have to wait for everyone else.

"NEXT!", the Apex receptionist yells.

Finally. I walk up to the reception desk as usual, and hand her my ID card. Sloppily, she scans the top of the card and practically throws it at me.

"Obsidian Grey? Who the hell would name their child Obsidian?"
I raise my eyebrow at her.

"Is that supposed to be threatening?" she says, ironically, in a threataning voice.

"No. I wasss just wondering why you're not checking the car-"

"Shut up. I know how to do my own job."
I stay quiet after that. In the three times I've done this, I've never met a receptionist that was just that rude. Is it because I'm Floran? Perhaps it was that she wanted to be done with the day. I've felt that before.

"Face the scanner."

There's no reason for her to do this. The x-ray scanner is only necessary if I haven't been scanned before. The ID card has this information, but she didn't check it, so...

"...What are you carrying?"

"That is a watt-5 taser gun with three boltssss in it. I'm using it to guard myself."

"Let me see it."

I hand it over carefully. Apparently this was just too slow.

"Hurry up."

I can't help but raise my eyebrow again. That was a mistake.

She almost kills me with my own taser gun by throwing it at my head.

End of Chapter 1
So guys, what do you think? Please give me your advice in the comments. Thanks. This is my first Starbound story ever, so I need feedback!

 

Chapter 2
I wait in line, right before we're about to board. I recognize the Glitch captains, as I have traveled with them twice before. I wondered if they would be okay on this brand-new ship.
I recognize no one else as I count the number of passengers. Two Florans, including me, the Glitch captains, one Human, an Avian, and one Hylotl. The Hylotl and Avian seemed to be friends, as they talked and laughed while waiting in line.

Wait...

I count them again. Yes, that's right. There's seven of us. Where's the eighth? I rack my brain trying to remember who the people at reception were. The Avian and Hylotl always stuck together, so they were 1 and 2. Then there was the Floran, which the Apex receptionist was rude to as well. 3. Then there were the Glitch twins. 4, 5. Then, there was the human. 6. And...
Then I remember. The human had a brother. How could I forget? I figure that there's nothing I can do as we're boarding.

I guess he had an invalid ID card. Then again, I wouldn't put it past that receptionist to deny him for no reason.

I can't believe I had made such a stupid mistake. I tell the officer who tells the passengers how to board correctly, but he just shrugs.

"It doesn't matter. Stay calm and enjoy the ride", he says.

"I sssupose..."

And then I board.

End of Chapter 2

No feedback still? Hopefully this second chapter will attract some attention. Thanks for reading, guys!

 

I really want to see where this is going!

 

Peaked my interest a little with the 2nd chapter. Keep going!

 

I HAVEN'T PLANNED THIS CHAPTER OUT AT ALL LOLOLO
No, but seriously, this chapter might undergo serious rewriting soon. You know how you can help me? Feedback!
Chapter 3

Yesterday evening had gone without a hitch. Nobody seemed to notice that we were missing a passenger, and if they did notice, did not care. I cared. I cared immensely. This person could be anywhere. He could-

The door opens with a quiet sshhk.

"Erm, Doctor...?"

"Grey."

"Yes, hello, Dr. Grey. I've come in to ask you some questions about....these dreams..."
I looked up from my laptop. It was the Avian, and he looked scared. He sounded hesitant. Either he was making this up and stalling me, or was scared to recite them.

"When did "thessse dreams" take place?"

"Last night..."

"What happened?"

"It was you. Stabbing me to death."

"Oh dear. What were you feeling in the dream?"

"I was embarrassed. By dying, I had let down my god and my family."

"Well..."
I pick up one of the files on my desk reading off the names of the patients.

"Sak'al?"

"Yes?"

"Calm down. This dream probably means very little. If you have any more, feel free to tell me about them."
I'm probably the only one that won't ridicule you for it.

"Thanks, um..? Oh, right. Grey. Thanks, Dr. Grey."
He leaves with the familar sound of the door.

Well, it's only 9:00, Earth time. I still had plenty of patients to go through.

Next patient in line, please report to Dr. Grey's office.

Suddenly, I heard a loud crash, and a crack. The kind of cracking sound that I didn't ever want to hear again.

End of Chapter 3

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I plan to keep going with this for a while.

 

I was going to wait for a little bit until writing this, but Chapter 3 kind of melded with this chapter, so here's

Chapter 4

I flew past the door and into the hallway, to see...the patients, in their designated seats, waiting for me to call on them.

"What was that noise?", I shout.
The Hylotl, Caz, speaks suddenly. Too quickly for it to be a genuine response.

"What noise?"

Caz and the human are fidgeting.

"Hm. Perhaps it was just my nerves."
As a test, I give the human a glare.
He almost jumps out of his seat.

"Perhapsss."

I count the number of people. Caz, the human, the Floran, and one of the Glitch twins. Jane.

"Jane."
The glitch looks at me attentively.

"Where is your twin?"

"Sad. He has not woken up from sleep mode yet."

"May I see him?"

"Denial. No, he is fine."
I walk back to my room, but I don't have any time to consider the situation. It's time for the next patient.

Caz, please enter the room.

Caz walks in slowly.

"Hello, Caz. Shut the door."
He does so.

"Caz... Is there something you're hiding from me?"

He shakes his head. At this point, I'm almost positive he's lying.

"How do you feel today?"

"Fine."

"Walk up to here."
I do a weight and height measurement with the ship's measurement system. Caz is completely healthy.

"Well, if there's nothing you need to talk to me about, then you may leave."
He rushes out the door.

Greenfinger, please enter my office.

End of Chapter 4

 

You're doing pretty good so far, and I'm enjoying reading it. At this part though, make it a little more obvious that Grey is the Floran we've been following along with. You never mentioned in any of the Previous chapters the character's name, so I had to look at this a couple of times. You could even have the receptionist in the first chapter scoff and say "Pfft, "Doctor" Grey?" or something like that. It also occurs to me that I do not know Doctor Grey's gender. : P That might be an oversight on my part though.

 

You're right, I haven't told the readers a whole lot about the person being followed. However, throughout the entire story, we are following the Floran named Dr. Grey. Dr. Grey is male.

 

Enjoying it so far, would love to see more. When I mean more I mean like 20 chapters minimum. I love long stories and so do others. (Maybe)

 

20 chapters seems like a lot, but I think I can get about 15 done. We'll see.

Chapter 5
Greenfinger walks into the room. He speaks normally, something that I hadn't realized that I was missing.

"What are the standard protocalls?"

"I don't see how that's any of your buisness."

"At least you know what you're doing."
I notice that he has a knife on his toolbelt. It's extremely old and rusted.

"Heh. I'd recommend a change of weapons."

"Oh no, this isn't a weapon. This is much more important than a weapon."

"What?"
He doesn't respond to that. The rest of the checkup goes smoothly, except at the very end, as he's walking out. He puts a corner of a sheet of paper on my desk.
In fine print, it reads very clearly:

To: Grey, Obsidian
Alpha Sector
Sabbod II

I need your help. The people aboard this ship aren't who they claim to be. "Caz", "Johs," and "Sak'al" do not exist anywhere in universal records. However, this may not be of our most concern. I was walking down the front hallway to get lunch when I heard a loud crashing and cracking sound. Then I saw it.
A humanoid figure was dragging a dead body across the hallway. As it was dragged, it made a metallic sound. I believe this was the Glitch's brother.
Why and how this is happening is beyond me.

Help me to find out who these people are.

If you agree to help me, then come to my room and slide this note under my door.
If not, burn this note. I don't want anybody but you to know.

-Greenfinger

End of Chapter 5

 

Chapter 6
I blinked at the note a few times. Surely this was a joke. How could I even be sure that this wasn't a lie?
It didn't matter at the moment. I needed to finish my job.

Next patient, please.

The human, Johs, does not walk in.

Next patient?

Johs walks into the room, pained. He's sweating so much that he looks pale.

"Wow. I don't need to be a doctor to tell you that you're not okay."

"Doctor, I don't feel good..."

"Clearly. Step onto this, please."
I do measurements. He's lost 5 pounds since he boarded the ship a day ago. This was very serious.
I swab his red pulsing pile of flesh that was once called a throat and the virus scanner comes up with nothing. I turn around to grab the thermometer out of my desk's top drawer.

"What have you eaten recently?"

"..."

"Johs?"

Crack.

I spin around to see Johs passed out half on the floor. That cracking sound was his head on my desk.
I didn't have the tools to fix bones. I didn't have the expertise for surgery.

You are not a real doctor. My father's words are all I can hear.

Quickly, I retrieved the first aid kit from the wall and acted. This kit was not for humans, but it had the one thing I needed. Bandages.
I applied these to his head. It looked terrible. I could see part of his cracked skull jutting out of the back of his head. He was not bleeding very much, thankfully.

You are a failure.

I call the emergency robots to carry him to the medical bay. There was simply nothing I could do in the five minutes of watching him not move.
After the first minute, his breathing slowed down. After the second minute, I couldn't hear breathing anymore.
End of Chapter 6
It's good to see that this is getting more seen. But is it liked?

 

Chapter 7

I should have been enjoying my own oculemon stew. I wasn't. Everyone else apparently felt the same, because they either weren't eating or had already excused themselves. The Glitch's brother never came. He was still "absent."
I excused myself from the table and bid everyone a good night. However, instead of walking towards my room, I walked to Greenfinger's.
I slide the note under the door. A few minutes later, he opens the door.

"Oh. Wonderful. I wasn't expecting you to believe me."

"I don't."

"What?"
I enter the room. It's boring, just like every other room. White, white, white, white, white. White ceiling, white walls, white floor, white beds, white desks, white bookcases and books.

"You couldn't have saw them at lunch. You were waiting for me to call on you."

"...That was a mistake, I swear!"
He actually looked innocent.

"...Okay, fine. I don't like the passengers here either. That Glitch is a terrible liar. Ssshe said out loud, 'Denial. No, he is fine.' when I asked to see Zane."

"I asked her about it as well, and she said the same thing."

"So she's lying. Ssssomebody killed Zane and she's in on it."

"But why would she be in on killing her own brother?"

"Threats?"

"Pah. Sssshe's a Glitch. She could kill everyone on the ship."

"..."

"..."

I broke the silence.
"What did the body look like?"

"I couldn't catch it because it was moving so quickly."

"Well, then. We know who it is."

"What? Who?"

"Jane, obviously!"

"So Jane is captain of the ship and she's threatened everyone on the ship to cover her tracks...except us?"

"...Yes."
I said it like I was reassuring myself.

"I don't have any better ideas."

I told him about a few other things. About Johs, mostly. He seemed unsurprised.

"So Jane has killed two people in one day. We'll all be dead twice before we arrive at our destination."

"How do you KNOW that Jane killed Johs, too?"

"...I don't. But I do."
I don't know how to respond.

"I should go. Good-night."

"...You're right, it's late."
He shudders.
I don't know why, but I shudder, too. Then I walk out.

End of Chapter 7

 

This chapter is one of the most interesting, I think.
Chapter 8
I open my eyes to see skulls hung and blood painted on the walls.
The skulls start talking.

"Lies, lies, lies, You reek of lies, lies lies."

Then I wake up. It takes me a full 15 minutes to stop thinking about the nightmare.
It was just a dream, I keep telling myself. It doesn't really help. Today was Monday, Earth time, which meant today I could simply enjoy the ride.
I decide that the first thing I'm going to do is ruin my day by checking on Johs, so I walk up to the door and--
I trip on something light and scratchy. My head goes face-down.

Crack.

That's what I'm thinking as my head falls towards the ground. I put my arms in front of myself to steady the fall.
They block the fall perfectly. Deep breaths, Obsidian. Calm down.
I turn around to see what I tripped on. A note. I pick it up and unfold it. It reads in fine print, very clearly:

To: Grey, Obsidian
Alpha Sector
Sabbod II

You may have noticed that there are only 7 people aboard this ship. I'm sorry to say I am the 8th.
I am Johs' sister. It's sad to see that a doctor like you couldn't ensure his safety.

I flinch.

He's dead now, by the way. He was dead from the second he boarded. However, I know you're innocent. I can't say the same for anybody who is alive and not a Floran.
Put more simply, the only people who are not in on crashing this ship seem to be you, me, and Greenfinger.
I need help. Ironically, you are the only person who would ever believe me.
If you do, use the emergency space suit and walk onto the main deck. I will meet you there at any time of the day.
If not, burn this note. I don't want anybody but you to know.

-Quas

I think out loud, "Is this a joke?"

Suddenly, I notice Caz, Jane, and Sak'al walking past me. They were laughing and talking, but not now.
Caz glares.
Jane looks at me like I'm a meal.
Sak'al ignores me.
And I do something I've never done before, just to get back at someone.
I bare my teeth at them. They seem to walk a bit faster after that.
End of Chapter 8
This is the longest chapter so far, I believe. I'll make the chapters as long or short as needed.

 

Chapter 9

The suit was surprisingly comfortable as I did test movements in it. It was very thin and light.
Why am I doing this?
Every fiber of my being told me it was a terrible idea to go outside. The security cameras would be picking this up. The USCM would by on my tail before we even land. So why not just wait until I land, then tell the authorities?
Oh, right. That's why I'm doing this. We may never land.
The door opens loudly and slowly. I would have been propelled into the vacuum of space if it wasn't for the thick cable attaching me to the ship. Despite my fears, the suit holds up.
Carefully, I walk onto the main deck. Somebody else with a suit on is also on the main deck. He or she is looking away from me. I walk fairly close, about a meter away.

"Hello."

The person spins around incredibly quickly. I can't even see he or she before they immediately confiscate my taser, like they were used to it.

"Oh, it's you."

The person finally looks at me. It's Johs's sister.

"I'm completely stunned that the note was real. It looked-"

"Too similar to Greenfinger's note. Yes. I did that on purpose, to see if you cared. Also, your speech is great! You don't even sound like a Floran."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Good."

"Anyway, first thing's first. What questions do you have?"

"Why can't we go inside? This suit is cold."

"There are security cameras inside. On this ship, good for me, there are none outside."

"Good enough. Why have you called me here?"

"Right. Then let's get to work."
She starts walking to the left, which goes back to where we came in.

"I don't even know your name!"

"Yes you do. Don't be stupid!"
I frown. What was her name?

"So, what I plan to do..."
She pulls out a suspicious-looking gun from a cleverly concealed holster.

"No, no, no. I'm not killing anyone!"
She looks at me with the gaze of someone who's asking, Are you mental?

"Oh my God, no. We're not killing anyone. We're knocking them out and sending a distress signal to the USCM. We are all going to be arrested, I'm sure, but I'd rather be in jail than dead."

"Oh. So that's a tranquilizer."

"Yes. And it usually doesn't kill...
I raise my eybrow.

"Don't get smart with me. Oh yeah, and don't use that taser. I can see it's been rigged."

Before I can respond, she walks through the door.
I follow.

End of Chapter 9

Longer chapters ftw

 

This is absolutely fantastic. Keep up with your work. The only thing I would suggest is maybe giving a little more detail about the characters. Keep up the work, I'll be checking this probably daily :}

 

YES MY FINE SIR
I SHALL CONTINUE

 

The story Is starting to get interesting.

 

double digits
Speaking of those, how much I've planned out these chapters is decreasing as I go along. So the 10s-20s may be edited more.
Chapter 10

"This is bad. He should be here already."
We've been waiting for Greenfinger in the waiting room for the last 15 minutes.

"If he's dead..."

"Wow. You jump to conclusions. No, it's unlikely that they've killed him yet because they don't know where he is."

"Hmm."

"I guess we should check on him."

"If we're going to do that, only one of us should. I don't want both of us getting caught."

"Smart thinking. B-but I'm not going. You're the Floran, after all. Y-you're fast."
She was stuttering.

"How stereotypical. Why won't you go?"

"Well...I think I know why they chose this ship to raid..."
Her voice was hesitant.

"Why?"

"...They're out for the 50,000,000 pixels on my head."
My eyes involuntarily widen.

"You're a WANTED CRIMINAL?"
I don't realize how loudly I'm speaking.

"Shhh!"

Clink, clink, clink.

We both duck behind one of the two tables just in time. Jane stops in front of us in the hallway. She's facing sideways, the way the hallway is pointed. The door to my room is directly right of her.
There's nowhere to run if she sees us.

Shhk.

She walks into my room and screams all of a sudden. Her three red eyes change position.

"Disappointed. GREY, WHERE ARE YOU?"

She walks further into the room. I can't see her anymore.

Smash. Clatter.

I see my bed flying past the doorway.

"Excited. This will be fun."
She walks out of the room and into Greenfinger's. Quas's eyes, as well as mine, widen.

"Is he in there?"

"I don't know!" I exclaim in a whisper.
Jane walks out without destroying anything. She taps something on her wrist and speaks.

"They're not here."
I can hear Caz respond from the wrist-communicator faintly.

"Hm."
Zane continues talking as she walks down the hall. I strain my ears and hear a few words.

"Well then, we will just kill him..."

End of Chapter 10

 

things are getting interesting that much I can say

 

I love it! Also, 15 chapters is totally fine. I also love where this is going. We have a mystery on our hands!