A Galaxy full of Idiots

I'm not implying to be criticising here i'm simply would like to discuss about the races and their flawed culture and design. also feel free to give me your own interpretation since this post itself is made a joke.

Human
What i know so far about them is that they were the refugees of the once planet earth that got destroyed by a planetary sized mutant tentacles. they have effectively rebuilt order everywhere else and formed the USCM. The USCM itself is a major faction enforced by some kind of governmental bullcrap. You know these USCM guys are all pricks as they would just try to kill you and they even have the most ridiculous defines system, i mean who in the damn straight mind would weaponize a tiny vacuum cleaner robot.

Their culture seems to be on the stage of modern age where technology and commercialism is at its golden era. These parasites breed and colonise in all planet that hasn't been claimed by other race at any time and any place.

Known racial trait
- Supremacist (despite having their home planet destroyed, they managed to become the most abundant races around the galaxy)
- Diplomatic (as they haven got in major war with any races)
- Modern (their race itself is culturally based on modern world filled with commercialism)

Avian
The furry starbounder favourite race, What i know about them is they're a blind fanatical creature with mayan/aztec based culture as them itself is a very traditional race. Their stupidity value itself is in a crazy high intolerance and it can be seen they still convinced themselves that they can fly and develop wings despite the fact that it never even works.

Their undeveloped culture is preferably the same as floran as the technologically advanced race took pity of these dumbass zealots teach them how to use technology and in return they build even more temples to kill themselves from.

Known racial trait
- Religious (their culture managed to not improve even by a scratch)
- Fanatical (obviously stated from the fact that they hunted you for being an atheist)

Apex
These monkey-man was supposed to look like a human but their scientific pursuit turned themselves into an fugly and furry abomination. though their leader miniknog is not a real person but a government led by high-end scientist. they have a problem with civil war emerged from the rebels who doesn't want to be ruled solely by intelligent people.

They seems to be in a sic-fi themed but actually are silly parody of a james bond villain with practically useless feature in laboratory and a traditional fetish bed which actually used for surgery. Bananas! These creature find it to be delicacy and they even have a hanging picture of a banana even their political poster has banana in it. Stereotype as it finest

Known racial trait
- Scientific (yup their entire race is governed by a collective group of dorks)
- Facist (despite being the ugliest creature in the galaxy, they still take pride for being more advanced in technology)

Hoyltl, Hyoltl, uhh..... Hylotl?
This races of pussies seems to be an aquatic creature that can give Charles Darwin's ghost a boner. they are originally lived in an oceanic planet but got invaded and deported by the technologically impaired floran and forced to live in another ocean planet which is equally fine. Despite being evolutionally superior they still got defeated by plants because they were to much of a pussies to fight back. it is known that since this day the fish-men still holding grudges against the plant-men.

Their race revolve around the feudalistic japan and mostly by their choice of furniture and clothing.
preferably the first race to go extinct

Known racial trait
- Pacifist (they always refuse to fight unless cornered which make the floran see them as an easy-meat)
- Diplomatic (this also came to an advantage of being harmless as an easy way to gain trust from other races, despite of the fact that most races considered them to be a prick)

Floran
This warmongering scavanger is the orc of the starbound universe, they live in a motto of "It's okay to kill a person if you're hungry or bored or just hated that guy in particular". They got their technology advancement from reverse engineering a crashed space ship. Resulting the fact that those floran invaded someone else's home planet despite of nothing in the planet is going to advantage them in any way. Their blood drive is even more entertaining as they have their own concept of the Purge. Despite of their reckless nature these race has survived for so long that they were said to once lived among the long gone ancients.

Their primitive tribal race would even reinforce their savage nature with tiger skins and bamboo house, easily comparable if you can imagine living in a house made of meats.

Known racial trait
- Primeval (this plants doesn't follow any morale code but majorly based around their instinct)
- Gluttonous (my bet is they CAN eat vegetable but the refuses to do it anyway)

Glitch
A super intelligent robots created by the ancient, their sole purpose is to build. Most of them gained their own individuality and decided to work for themselves. despite of that they were still a hell of a builder, but too bad cause their so called "glitch" is preventing them to build something else that is not medieval themed. as also defined from their delicacy this weird creature can plant batteries and make a those battery acids to grow on trees in a battery shaped fruit.

Apparently some other races also believed that the glitch is a resemblance to the ancient race.

known racial trait
- Industrious (this races seems to aim to prosperity rather than supremacy trough their flawed construction skill)
- Chivalrous (living as a program in a mechanical body they choose to adopt a knightly manner to reflect their physical appearance)

Novakids
Created by the super-duper cool idea of someone this have caused spams of similar unconstructed ideas for races named by punching their keyboard.

Beside of my critic up there, the novakids is actually them most original and well designed race though their lore is lightly forced to not make sense even in a sci-fi logic. so these fission based space cowboys has the most bizarre origins and history. the only thing that is physical of them is their logo and cowboy hats. this creature can glow in the dark like neons and explode upon death with their miniature supernova.

Kinda ironic when a player can have a more original idea that the developer themselves. i wish for something original like these

known racial trait
Bad memory (due to their lacking in scientific values, they tend to forget many things which caused them to discover the same goddamn technology over and over)
Weird physiology (This creature is supposed to not be able to eat any foods but the developer insisted on it anyway, and the weirdest thing is that creature is supposed to be formed by space alcoholic drinks)

8th race
Who knows what they might be? man-insect, man-serpent, or even a mineral based life form. or cultures based of ancient greece, Oceanian, Steampunk, or even Gothic. Obviously it's not gonna be those shroomish cancer or the ancient race because they obviously too busy hiding.

The concept itself become funnier as they adapted the idea of endless space and they retaliate with endless legend whose racial design is mostly based of starbound. try one of the endless game and you'll see why.

Minor races
Ever saw the agrarian, alpacas, shadow people, slimes and frogs. These people are just a wearing costumes. apparently the only truly unique race is the penguin space pirates.

See that mushroom menace? well apparently someone decided to wear the mushroom hat too so i we can't even decide which is true agrarian and with one is just a floran wearing mushroom hat. I mean that those agar an didn't even do ship on the first place.
See that frog guys?? well they were still just a mute florans wearing frog mask
See that alpacas ??/? well they were just human who believe that bigger butt means bigger insulation factor
See that shadow people?? actually i do not know a sheep about them? i could still compare them to something that look alike them, but then i might get bombed

Bonus! Avali
I do have concern in the canon the game but i say that avali is a good candidate of being included in the vanilla game, too bad their heavy modification, imbalance, and crafting system too OP that playing as them can be considered as cheating.

I mean i liked the idea of a nomadic middle easter half raptor half mouse. if i am to suggest maybe balancing the tier and the removal of overpowered weaponry. i mean the lances and the gatling would make a good specialty like their out of the tier crafting system

Hey! make a vanilla friendly version of avali and maybe the developer might change their mind

Additional notes

• I'm totally going to make another cynical post since most of you guys liked it

 

well... we dont forget we got also Agaran Mushroom people and from unstable (Nightly vision) you have now also Stone like golem people from Vulcanic Planets and some blue-skinned crazed folks from scorched planet

hey what next maybe Slime people race. well mother nature is full of surprises ^_^

 

Actually, a lot of the descriptions are quite canon-defiling (Broken down in species):
Humans:
It is explicitly stated in the intro that they haven't completely reorganized yet, which isn't surprising since a lot of the PCs' dialogue indicate they were alive when Earth got invaded by the tentacle monster .
They are actually the LEAST numerous ones, as seen by their lack of villages, which seems to imply that most are in a situation similar to the player's.
Diplomatic: FALSE. They got in at least one with the Florans (Which is seen in a Codex entry involving the whole defoliant mess).

Avians:
Actually, a good part of the reason behind their fanaticism seems to be BECAUSE some precursor race decided to give them advanced tech so they wouldn't die out (Which might be implied to be because of the sacrifices) but decided to not tell them that it wasn't a divine gift.

Apex:
Actually, their government isn't fascistic. If anything, it is more like Stalinist Russia.
The whole reason behind the rebels is that, as obviously seen when playing as an Apex, is that they are against the whole "Inmoral experimentation on people against their will and general constant surveillance" thing, and the reason they became ape people was to boost their intelligence (Which, assuming that they evolved similarily to humans as they used to look similar, is quite weird because that would have caused the opposite. Then again, it IS a dystopia that is most likely lying about it).

Hylotl:
You basically got their "Diplomatic" trait wrong. From PC descriptions, it seems that no-one likes them because they tend to be HUGE pricks. If anything, it would be that they utterly fail to notice that the Florans are simply the only sapient species that attacks them, but they aren't the only ones that hate them.
Another trait is that their pacifism doesn't come from biological reasons at all. Between the battle-ready armor, the guards, and that they developed weapons in the first place, it seems that their vegetarianism and pacifism is purely cultural.

Florans:
Actually, nobody pitied them. What happened is that someone crash-landed in their homeworld, got eaten, and they copied the ship.
At what point is it stated that they are that old?
As for being gluttonous, they most likely don't eat plants because that simply wouldn't be a good choice for them (It is more difficult to break down, so it is less nutritive).

Glitch: It is the one with the most canon deviations, as:
1 They aren't stated to be any more intelligent than the other species.
2 Their purpose was to simulate the development of civilizations, not to build around. In fact, the name comes from a bug that left them unable to research.
As for their traits, neither is right because the former simply is too generic and could be easily applied to all the others; while the second is only half-right in that it only applies some of them. If anything, their main traits is that they are technologically stagnant, and that they don't really have much in the way of individuality (Considering the hive mind).

8th species:
Actually, they seem to be very generic, with the typical "Ominous-looking building" that is used in most media for extinct civilizations. Of course, that changes if they are the same ones that created the Glitch and shoddily uplifted the Avians; as, from the former (And assuming that the Glitch were designed in a way that resembles them) it can be assumed that they had some sort of hive mind; and that they probabily destroyed themselves because their technological progress outpaced their societal advances (AKA They failed to realize what MAD is, apparently).

 

Well researched sire, although i should've explicitly stated that my post is supposed to be a joke

 

Only 1 apex vote which is me, why does everyone hate space monkeys they are the best race

 

@Lichen I had a good laugh! I know reading from the first paragraph that this is going to be funny .
I laughed on some of your statements. They're really stupid and funny

Also:

This is blasphemy! We ain't vegetarians! We love meat! Carnivores ftw!

You sir, are no fun in parties.
But still, thanks for the insight! Now I know some things about these races.

I just want to point out.. how about the novakids? you forgot to tell somthing about them?!
Is it your favorite race? that's biased! (kidding)
Novakids.. how can they even see? without eyes? how? do they have some kind of sonar energy?
I' sure the only indication about their brands is to hold them together..

 

Florans eat other florans, From what I can tell.
Soooo if I'm wrong come reply.

 

O crap! I forgot about cannibalism..
I guess that makes us omnivores then .
Thanks for the correction!

 

Avali was stated time and time again both by Chucklefish AND its creator that it will NEVER be in the game. Stop it. They don't fit in the lore at all.

 

how ever Avali design is quiet interesting and Creative... well whatever...

Hylotl Peacefull age must be calm like pond, then autumn cames the wind couse riples in water
then the leafs felt into pond, the florian Invasion have begun, Like winter fights were long and cold
and Hylotl was forced to leave there home world and embrace change and some of them become warriors

flexible and fluid like water, harden and strong as ice, shadowless and Silence as Misty Dawn

how ever most Hylotl are become honerble warriors, sadly I noticed there must be smal group of Hylotl who
are still killing Florans out of vengeance, I notice that wen Play as Hylotl and came across some florans Villagers.
they seems be scared or angry and very unwelcome ^_^;

 

Hey hey hey!!! Do not interrupt my not visible form! I don't want and my race have any problems!

 

Just what the hell is wrong with avali? so far they have gotten as much community support as the nova kids were
Is there even any personal grudges that the developer have against the mod?
Or they just plainly hated the designed and don't want to carry any of the extra weight?

I do know that the current version of avali does not fit the vanilla playstyle at all
But they have some really great concept and lore and have gained so much fans that the least they can do is put up a discussion on fitting the avali

 

Aside from these,
IS THERE LIKE, ANY FREAKING ONLINE LIBRARY OF STARBOARD CODEX AND LORE SO I MIGHT BE ABLE MAKE EVEN MORE DUMB INTERPRETATION OF THEM?

 

Here

 

I think the devs just already finished writing the lore and don't want to go back and edit it again.

 

The official wiki.
edit: ninja'd

 

i did that first

 

this thread xD
Although my inner lorenerd cringes at some errors, this is accurate... but why don't the poor apex get any love?

I think Novakids were a special case, as they were introduced early so they were a goal in the kickstarter.

Personally to me the Avali seem like a Mary Sue race. I mean, the creator describes them as "four-earred, diminutive, post-singularity, fluffy, nomadic, avian, space-raptor hunters/singers”. Basically a talented hyper-advanced race of both cute and badass features. Like the other races, they don't have a massive character flaw. Other races have external and/or internal conflict, like this thread kinda exemplifies. No-one is perfect. But Avali... they don't have a negative side. Although the concept is pretty great, the lore and writing is not that fancy. And aesthetically the race doesn't match with the rest of Starbound, quite frankly.

No offense to those who like the race, of course! It's just my opinion. this turned into a rant, damn it

 

Well the avali have a certain hatred for humans. Like how the Hylotl a certain hatred for Florans.
This may count as external conflict.
Please say if this counts or not.
Other than that, I respect your opinion.
And you don't get that alot on the internet.

 

Here is what's wrong:

"Avali was stated time and time again both by Chucklefish AND its creator that it will NEVER be in the game. Stop it. They don't fit in the lore at all."

Do I have to go dig up statements from RyuujinZERO or Tiy that say the same thing? Sure, the Avali is a popular race mod - but it does not fit Starbound and will never be added as a vanilla race. Period. End of story. No amount of Avali fanaticism will change that.