Defend Yourself!

Hey, don't judge, we all have our secret fantasies. Years of exposure to Japanese, well, uh, media don't exactly help either.

The next poster stole the coconut.

 

I stole the apple pie.

NP wants to bed a floran.

 

And you don't?

NP isn't mentally scarred from Doki-Doki Literature Club!

 

I didn’t watch it, so I can’t be scarred, no?

NP hates Hel the mod.

 

Well, someone has to...
NP is obsessed with hot drinks and missile ponies, yet doesn't realize that both traits may be connected.

 

but that's okay, because i don't deny it.

NP will feel forced to admit that they unironically enjoyed sonic and the black knight.

 

How could I have enjoyed that game when I was busy playing Shadow the Hedgehog instead.

Next poster puts the milk in before the cereal.

 

If I did that I would have significantly less cereal

NP is a feminazi.

 

Damn straight i am broski

next poster is mark zuckerberg

 

Iz hab nod klue whoh thghat ib.
I acuse NP for liking the "I smell pennies!" meme.

 

I don‘t even know what that f**k that is, *sniffs pennies*

NP is an edgelord

 

*Ahem* the correct term is "Goth"

I accuse the NP of not knowing the difference between an edgelord and a goth

 

I don't go looking for different goth-ey styles, so I wouldn't know anyway.

I accuse NP for being bad at drawing.

 

You see my profile picture? That's real art, baby

I accuse the next poster of being United States Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell

 

i hate politics

I accuse NP of derp on a criminal level

 

deeeerrrrp... Oh crap I'm being arrested.
I accuse NP of being a fundamentalist of every religion at once.

 

That's pretty hard to do while also being atheist.

I accuse NP of stealing eyes.

 

don't be ridiculous. if someone was stealing eyes, someone would have seen them.

besides, the next poster is the real villain! they sat on my fox plushie, Foxy! rude! >:C

 

What? I was busy planting trees for the world, so it can't be me.

So I accuse the next NP, for cutting trees for toilet paper to much, that make my work a lot harder.

 

Well I was using the toilet paper to cushion the bird houses I was building for the world.

I accuse NP of pouring syrup in all my electrical outlets.