Chat Tell Us Your Troubles Thread - advice & friendly chats

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by BloodyFingers, Oct 22, 2013.

  1. Alexander Hamilton

    Alexander Hamilton Star Wrangler

    Oh, my mom and dad hate me though
     
  2. BloodyFingers

    BloodyFingers The End of Time

    again, what gives you that idea?
     
  3. Alexander Hamilton

    Alexander Hamilton Star Wrangler

    They both have told this to my face, "I hated you" or "You are a mistake"



    I think I'm done talking about this subject
     
  4. BloodyFingers

    BloodyFingers The End of Time

    How often?
    Seriously, I don't know any family who hasn't spoken hurtful things to one another at least once or twice a year.
    Also, do they treat you badly? That would be a bigger indicative of their attitude towards you.
     
  5. Alexander Hamilton

    Alexander Hamilton Star Wrangler

    Oh I'm technically the maid or butler of the house. I do all the chores but don't get payed
    I'm technically a slave
     
    BigEaredKittens likes this.
  6. BloodyFingers

    BloodyFingers The End of Time

    So was I. From gardening to fetching a glass of water. And getting beaten if I refused. And really, don't expect any payment from parents. Most believe raising someone is enough trouble.

    In a way, that kind of helped me in my adult life, so there you go...
     
    Waffle-Chan likes this.
  7. BigEaredKittens

    BigEaredKittens Master Astronaut

    Understand that one. My mother is one of those asshole helicopter parents that can't stand when she doesn't get her way. Thinks the world revolves around her and is built to serve her every little need. She even got bold enough to have me slide the chair under her ass one time, because she was too lazy to do it herself. She's made me very aware of how, supposedly, everyone including her believes I should have a bullet in my head and that I'm "worthless" for being below the poverty line.

    Egoists, I think people like them are called. Skilled highly in ruining good days and nights and best experienced form a great distance and as sparingly as possible. You sound like a youngster tho, so perhaps they'll be out your life soon.
     
  8. BloodyFingers

    BloodyFingers The End of Time

    well, I hope you get the help you need @Windowtowall. Yours is not an easy problem. We'll all be rooting for you.
     
    Pangaea likes this.
  9. Pangaea

    Pangaea Forum Moderator

    Well, I guess it's about time I posted here about some serious stuff. It's funny because there seems to be a lot of this going around recently. Kind of funny, too, that I've been "talking down" others here recently as well. Anyway ...

    I've been struggling with suicidal ideation again (for a while now to be truthful). A lot actually. Been planning some ways to do it, for example. I will admit that I'm currently not taking my meds like I'm supposed to be and I haven't seen my therapist in a couple months. But there are reasons, that I won't get into. Nothing bad though. He's a great therapist and stuff. And of course, there's the near constant strong desire to self-harm. Haven't done that for a couple months. I actually almost did just the other night but I realised they were watching so I ended up not doing it. Obviously, I know all the reasons not to do such things. But, if I can be honest, I don't care about them. I don't really place much, if any, value in myself; I think the reason I haven't made any serious attempts recently is because my family kind of relies on me for various things at the moment. I don't know, maybe that's enough.
     
    BloodyFingers likes this.
  10. The Purple Dragon

    The Purple Dragon Master Astronaut

    What makes you want to self harm?
     
  11. BloodyFingers

    BloodyFingers The End of Time

    That's 70% of the reason why I decided to swim in a cold lake. Because I felt I needed to suffer for being an idiot. The other 30% is just me not giving a shnapps about danger.
    I stood and watched as my crush got it on with another guy. I could've just walked away from the club but, again, I felt I needed that brutal reminder in order to maybe... learn something? I never do, though.
    I have so many wonderful people around me, that would never intentionally harm me. They will always come with kind words in order to cheer me up. But I don't agree with that. Sometimes I need someone to just shout at my face how stupid I am acting so I can snap out of it. So it falls to me to be the harsh teacher of myself.
     
  12. SivCorp

    SivCorp Parsec Taste Tester

    I have found those that delve into the self harm end of things are much more attuned with the sinful nature of humanity. Not saying they are bad people, not at all... ya just recognize the inward struggle, and see the problems quite starkly.
    The next step after detection is to remove that sin nature. But how does one remove such a thing? You can't cut it out, you can't punish yourself for it... it is latched on like a leach. Only one who can also see it, knows it, and has suffered for it as well... only He can remove it. Find the one who has suffered and been reborn out of that nature, and you find your answer... to it all.
     
    The Purple Dragon likes this.
  13. Pangaea

    Pangaea Forum Moderator

    The two main reasons are that it helps me stay grounded in reality and, secondly, you could say I'm "persuaded" to do it.
     
  14. Bonabopn

    Bonabopn Fluffiest Squirrel

    It is good that you have not self-harmed in a couple of months, well done. I think that you should take your meds and see your therapist, but if that doesn't work for you then you should probably tell your doctor.
     
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  15. Pangaea

    Pangaea Forum Moderator

    Yes, I know. The meds and therapist do help, actually. Really well in fact! But a feature of my disorder is periods of improvement (that can last a long time) and periods of deterioration. I think I'm in one of these latter periods, since about February. It's just gotten worse as time progresses and will likely continue to do so until ... something ... happens. Who knows, maybe I'll be on the upswing tomorrow. Hard to say.
     
    The Purple Dragon likes this.
  16. The Purple Dragon

    The Purple Dragon Master Astronaut

    I'd say that that is a very deep and meaningful reasoning behind it yes.
     
  17. SivCorp

    SivCorp Parsec Taste Tester

    I can see the persuaded angle... but what of this disorientation?

    Perhaps you are looking for a more grounded truth than what this world, and it's experiences can offer?

    I am quite deep (tall) yes ;)
    And I have had some experience in this kind of thinking as well, fortunately.
     
    The Purple Dragon likes this.
  18. The Purple Dragon

    The Purple Dragon Master Astronaut

    Any sort of 'atoning for sins' thoughts that I have are more nihilistic then self harm. So I suppose it's a good thing for humanity that I lack the conviction to do anything towards Armageddon.
     
  19. Pangaea

    Pangaea Forum Moderator

    Nah, mate. I'm literally psychotic. It's a grounding technique for me, albeit a really shitty one. But I can't always trust my senses so gotta do something.
     
  20. The Purple Dragon

    The Purple Dragon Master Astronaut

    Get something to fidget with and focus on, not necessarily something nice, possibly even a small pebble. Otherwise try a coarse material or object you could rub.
     
    Pangaea likes this.

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