Avali Nexus 19: The Last Hole

*Binds him so kC can glomp him*

 

I need three separate color schemes for vali

Because the three I threw together as three blobs completely and utterly arbitrarily turned out to be spot on for three 'valis already here and it's kind of freaking me out

 

I hope you guys are having a dank good evening.

 

> Threatened with being bound and kinky'd
> Stands completely still

Somehow I'm getting the feeling you're not completely against it xD

 

*Hylan sings once again*

"When the paralytic dreams that we all seem to keep
Drive on engines 'til they weep
With future pixels in factories far away"

"So call the mainland from the beach
All parties now washed up in bleach
The waves are rising for this time of year
And nobody knows what to do with the heat
Under sunshine pylons we'll meet
While rain is falling like rhinestones from the sky"

*Rura asks* "You really love singing don't you?"

*Hylan responds* "Yes, I do! Sometimes what I sing may not make sense at first, but songs usually have a deeper meaning you know?"

*Rura replies* "I agree."

 

Right so while the TF epidemic is sleeping *grabs some quick DNA samples, mostly by force* I suppose I should do my part for the betterment of the thread

 

You are greeted by the familiar, but never seen in text, voice of Shopkeep, who it appears set up a prerecorded message of himself.
He mentions that he is terribly busy setting up the new location and is very sorry, but the shop will be unavaliable for a while.
A calling card, similar to the one you already have, somehow shoves its way out of the phone and into your hand.
Well, you suppose you can never have too many useless cards in your wallet, so you pocket the card anyway, right next to your expired SPACEBUCKS gift card.

((
G'night all!

@Silverotter can I make Shopkeep and his amazing 4th-wall breaking store canon? Totally needs more interdimensional pseudo-gods selling extremely random but sometimes convieniently useful wares for odd prices
))

Also, for the heck of it I'm going to make a log of all the commands today

A friendly non-corporeal entity welcomes you to the Nexus. It seems he wants you to enter his shop.
Would you like to browse his wares?

>No
>Hell no!
>...Maybe just a little...

==>

The entity, at your lack of response, is suddenly beside you. You aren't entirely sure when he approached or how, but he's there.
He silently judges you as you continue to stand there. Before you know what's happening, his shop has also approached you, and you are inside it.
Well, so much for that.

>Browse
>Abscond
>STRIFE!
>Be Confuse

Ehks: Browse
The entity smiles and is suddenly behind the counter. That's really beginning to creep you out.
You approach the counter slowly and carefully, and look at the wares he offers.
$03.00 >Wereraven Cure
$05.00 >%100 rael beef
$10.00 >"Swatfish"
$09.99 >TF Stim, AS SEEN ON TV!
$00.00 >The skull of a Kineptic?
$91.82 >PINKITUS VIRUS
$42.00 >Something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea
$08.00 >A violet potion of some description

Umbrakiin, Jacob: Be Confuse
The entity proceeds to show you a short instructional film in the style of a 50s informational slideshow, describing the process of decision-making.
The film is actually surprisingly interesting, going into detail about the brain and complex thought processes.
You fall asleep 5 minutes in.
When you awake, the shop and everyone else that was in it is gone. A cruddy VHS tape lies beside you.
Scrawled on it in an obnoxious-colored felt pen is the title of the film. Seems he bootlegged it.

Ehks: Purchase Wereraven Cure
Ehks: Purchase TF Stim
The entity thanks you for your purchase. Before you have a chance to pay, the shop and the entity vanish around you.
Beside you is a TF Stim and a Wereraven Cure. Both are in needle form, and you aren't sure which is which.
There is also a vial of the violet potion. It appears to be a freebie.

Jacob: Browse

You find it strange that this thought only comes to mind after the shop has vanished.
Luckily for you, or perhaps unluckily, depending on your viewpoint, the shop is suddenly once again around you.
The entity welcomes you back, and motions in a friendly manner for you to browse.

SOLDOUT>Wereraven Cure
$05.00 >%100 rael beef
$10.00 >"Swatfish"
SOLDOUT>TF Stim, AS SEEN ON TV!
$00.00 >The skull of a Kineptic?
$91.82 >PINKITUS VIRUS
$42.00 >Something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea
$04.00 >A violet potion of some description

Jacob: Purchase Violet Potion

Before you've even finished the "violet" part of the request, you find two vials of the potion in your lap.
You are also sitting for some reason. You aren't exactly sure when this happened.
The shop disappears from view, leaving only you, the surprisingly comfortable beanbag chair you're in, and tw-- no wait, three vials of the violet potion.
You quickly check your account balance. It seems the entity actually deposited $12.00 into your account.
You begin to wonder about his sanity for the first time, oddly.

Teron: Do not trust Ehks' stims

A calm and friendly voice urges you that all of his products are guarenteed to be at least 41.3% safe or trustworthy.
The "or" bothers you, but for some reason the percent doesn't.
Before you have a chance to question the voice or why you're hearing it, your head is again quiet.

Umbrakiin: Search for Shop

You begin to search for the shop, but rapidly come to the conclusion that it is long gone.
Where it once stood, you notice a small calling card.
On it reads:

THE SPACETIME MARKET
(000) 1-800-0000-00000

It appears to be an outdated Human "phone number", however you're certain there's supposed to be a few less numbers.

Teron: Fill sprinklers with purple liquid

The purple liquid sprays everywhere. Turns out to simply be Avali blood.
You are less surprised by this haunting revelation than you would like.
The two seemingly-identical stims remain.
Umbrakiin: Call Number

An auto-responder picks up. It asks you to press ONE if you would like service, TWO if you would like service, THREE if you called the wrong number, or GREEN if you have a complaint. The voice goes away and is quickly replaced by catchy hold music.

Umbrakiin: Press TWO
You go to press two, but your hand slips and accidentally hits one.
You are suddenly inside the shop. Out of the window you see what appears to be outer space.
The non-corporeal entity once again welcomes you.

Umbrakiin: Browse

After zoning out for a few minutes, the entity snaps out of it and shows you his wares.
$10.00 >Blowfish
$05.00 >Catfish
$05.00 >Swordfish, minus the fish and the sword
$02.50 >A 360 sided die
$01.25 >A partridge in a pear tree
SOLDOUT>Wereraven Cure
$01.00 >%100 rael beef (rotten)
$10.00 >"Swatfish"
SOLDOUT>TF Stim, AS SEEN ON TV!
$00.00 >The skull of a Kineptic?
$91.82 >PINKITUS VIRUS
$42.00 >Something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea (cold)
SOLDOUT>A violet potion of some description (actually Avali blood)
SOLDOUT>"==>" command arrows (sold to a Mr. Scratch)
$43.20 >A block of AEROGEL
Ê͋ǂ²Ǔǜ̗͐͞Ş̸ˁ>You aren't sure what it is, but looking at it burns your eyes.

Teron: Purchase Pinkitus
Teron: Purchase Item 16

What item 16? You are quite sure there never was a 16th item. The last one on the list was clearly A block of AEROGEL.
Nonetheless, the entity hands you the Pinkitus virus very carefully, and immediately transports you out of the store.
You figure he's just paranoid. Luckily for you, or unluckily depending on your viewpoint, he forgot to either take or deposit money from your account.
In the approximate location where you think item 16 would have been if it had ever been a thing in the first place, sits a pumpkin.

==>
The SPACETIME MARKET, and any reference to its existance other than sold wares, promptly vanish from the multiverse.
All, that is, but a small CALLING CARD. On it is written:

THE SPACETIME MARKET
(000) 1-800-0000-00000
COME SEE US AT OUR NEW LOCATION: 5th Wall!
GRAND OPENING BETWEEN SHENNANIGANS AND SERIOUS ROLEPLAYING AT 26100002:04:12:413:H2SO4:YXXX PM NON-LINEAR STANDARD TIME.

The NON-CORPOREAL ENTITY, hereby referred to as SHOPKEEP, vanishes, assuming he ever existed in the first place.
On second thought, if he didn't exist, why would you have given him a name just now?
That would surely be stupid. Luckily for you, or unluckily depending on your viewpoint, this question doesn't stay in your mind long.
You have much more important unimportant nonsense to consider, like rainbow POKéMON, where all this merchanise came from if the shop doesn't exist, and where exactly this supposed "5th Wall" is located.

Riley: Call Number

You are greeted by the familiar, but never seen in text, voice of Shopkeep, who it appears set up a prerecorded message of himself.
He mentions that he is terribly busy setting up the new location and is very sorry, but the shop will be unavaliable for a while.
A calling card, similar to the one you already have, somehow shoves its way out of the phone and into your hand.
Well, you suppose you can never have too many useless cards in your wallet, so you pocket the card anyway, right next to your expired SPACEBUCKS gift card.

 

MY GEEEEEENES! *melts*

 

@Surge

 

Heheh

 

Alrighty once again good night/see ya later.. wow the days come and go to fast at least for me..

 

Night~

 

//I dont know what I did to my husky

 

; ~;

I'm gonna call it quits and not shade, I'm done ; A;

Hopefully 169 comes quick enough so I can finally get this off of my hands, good lord

 

*The Anthenas are yanked into the Æther by those warp 'mines' as soon as they go to activate*

NOOO! FLY, GRYPH BUTT!

 

You mean those things we spent all night painstakingly tracking down and either disposing of or simply avoiding when we reinstalled all these damn things?

You'll be getting a bill for our EOD bots.

 

Not sure what you removed then, the wards were wove to only go off on those devices. ovo

 

There was a bit of trial and error in the disarming process before we ran out of EOD bots and started using doorknockers.
We covered up the craters nicely though I think.

 

...they... don't leave.... OKAY WHO ELSE HAS MINES?!

 

My ship (from the top)

From the ground.

From space.
This is all in-game footage from Star Citizen.