[DOUBLEPOST=1449112145][/DOUBLEPOST] ok then his name is Sir Isaac Newiforgottherest be sure to let him poop on highquality mushrooms
Are low-quality mushrooms ok? Like the ones I found in the woods earlier that made me see weird stuff?
i kind of like that, but on the other hand it sounds like your saying no florids. Or is it pronounced nofe lorids?
Want another name? Reply to this and i will add it.[DOUBLEPOST=1449188314][/DOUBLEPOST]Saw this little pug online and had to make it into a gif
Story Time A Not-So-Forgiving Life In A Not-So-Pleasant World In the year 4A390HI there was a small boy named Mark who lived on the planet Dreamsbreaker. Mark lived in Sector 5921, in the region Fredinroth (a region is a very large part of a continent) in, what some people might call a state, Renion. Sector 5921 is a very oppressed place where sometimes people will straight out kill for either the food that others have or the food that the other is. Mark grew up without a mom or dad to call his own. But he had Uncle John, whom he called dad. John was a blacksmith and a very good one. In fact, so good that he had an iron gate around his home to protect from monsters. A gate he and Mark made with pride. His Uncle was a great man. He was the one to keep away the monsters in the sector… He was the one who gave to the poor… But it seems no matter how good you are in this world… Someone will always want you dead. John was assassinated by none other than Orlac The Spine Collector. Mark was 13 when this happened and he swore to kill that evil wicked soul. Mark was fairly built and had very strong legs. He could run a mile in 4 minutes flat. With brown hair and eyes like gold themselves, Mark had only what his uncle had taught him. 5 Years Later As Mark was walking down Bandit Wing’s town square he heard a yell. He took off down the street to investigate. As he looked around the corner he saw Orlac The Spine Collector cornering a girl with a knife to her throat. “Now tell me, what’s a pretty girl like you doing out here?” sneered Orlac to the girl like she was his plaything “Did you come to see me? Well… seeing as you’re here, why don’t we have some fun? Hehe…” Now Mark was enraged by this interaction and walked up causally and made eye contact with the girl. She slightly nodded showing she understood. “Ehhh? What did you just nod for? Huh???” asked Orlac impatiently “Well spit it out!” Before Orlac could say another word instantaneously he received a mouthful of shoe. His scream was muffled as Mark’s shoe tore through his brain and an instant later, opened the back of his skull. Orlac’s dead body hit the ground, leaving a crater around him. Orlac was dead. Yes, he was stone dead. His evil would trouble no one anymore. Mark turned to the girl. “Are you hurt?” Mark questioned worriedly. “No. Thank you for saving me,” said the girl with a horrified expression. “How could one person do so much damage with only a kick? Not even I could do that!” she thought in amazement. “What did she want with Orlac?” thought Mark. “And why would she come by herself? Even though she looks like she could put up a fight, she did not have a chance against Orlac.” Recovering quickly she looked at Mark. “I had it under control though,” she added hastily, “I can take care of myself!” “Right because you definitely weren’t just caught by Orlac and you definitely didn’t needed me to save you.” She blushed. “Well whatever! I could have beaten him even if you didn’t show up! It…it was all part of my plan!” “Sure I believe you,” retorted Mark, he turned around,“Hey why don’t we go get a drink at the tavern and you can tell me that plan of yours? I’m sure its—” “Shuddap would you?” She interrupted, “You’re no better than him! Bullying people around.” Mark stopped in his tracks faintly whispering, “What…?” “People like you, thinking they are the heroes of every story! You must have a bunch of nerve, harassing someone that was just attacked!” “That’s not true…” he said only a little louder. “You disgust me! Poor old me, I’m being bullied by a narcissistic jerk!” He ran at her pinning her under him. “Don’t EVER put me in the SAME CATEGORY as HIM!!!” he yelled at her. When she recovered from the shock of him pinning her down, she said, “Let go of me!” as she struggled to break free. “I’m so sorry!” he said when he realized he was on top of her. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you.” She said apologetically. After the awkward silence Mark said, “Hey let me buy you that drink…as an apology and because you were almost killed.” “Ok…” she said reluctantly. When they got to the tavern and bought their drinks Mark studied the mysterious girl in silence. She was pretty and seemed like a fighter. Her hair was pink and she had very beautiful green eyes. She had pail skin and her cheeks were rosy red. “You haven’t told me your name yet. You could at least tell me that,” said Mark laid back. “It’s Victoria. I’ve never seen your face before. Are you new to Bandit Wing?” she questioned. “Actually yes I was looking to put up a request for some mercenaries to help me on a quest.” “What’s the quest?” asked Victoria intrigued. “Well I lived in Sector 5921—” “The one that was brought to the ground by some unknown group?” interrupted Victoria. “Yes, and I was going to hire three people to help me track them down. 64 gold bars and 25 percent of extra loot we find.” “Ohh that’s one lofty amount!!!” she exclaimed, “Well count me in!! I’m an expert archer!” “I don’t know… it will be dangerous—“ “I don’t mind!” “There aren’t any toilets in the forests.” “I can handle it!” “So you’re sure you can handle it?” “Yes!” “Alright fine. You’re in.” “ALRIGHT!!” Mark put up a job request in the tavern that said, “Mercenaries Wanted Dangerous Job Pay Is 64 gold bars +25% Share Of Extra Loot.” The next day they were greeted by at least 50 people. They all looked different. “Well this is quite the turn out…you sort through this lot, I’m going to ask around.” “Pleasure,” said Victoria with an evil grin. A very big man stepped in front of Victoria and said, “I’m Alex and I will be tested first little girl. I have the most power here!” As they sat down at the table Victoria said that they should arm-wrestle. Alex was humiliated. He lost to her in a blink of an eye. “How’s the search doing?” the bartender asked Mark at the other side of the room. “It has been going good so far,” replied Mark. “Have you asked him?” the bartender nodded toward a greenish looking man reclining in his seat. “No? Well I don’t like him. He’s supposed to be some foreign warrior but I don’t buy it, he comes here and acts like he owns the place.” Mark walked over to him. “Hey! Me and my friend are looking…” “I saw the ad,” replied the green man. “Oh great! So what do you think?” “Gimmie 50% and I’m in.” “What the… Why would I accept that?” Mark asked stunned. “Because just in a few minutes I will demonstrate my skill by saving your life,” said the green man. “Who’s next?” asked Victoria. “Me…” answered a mysterious hooded man. “You feeling lucky? Not one single person has passed…yet?” challenged Victoria. “Then I still got a shot,” answered the hooded man. “Alright let’s begin!” yelled Victoria. As they grasped each other’s hands Victoria’s caught fire as the mysterious hooded man started to glow. Victoria snatched her hand away and asked, “Wow, that was impressive, how did you do that? Magic?” “You could say that,” replied the man. “Then welcome to our little group!” stated Victoria. “Thanks…” “HEY YOU!!” yelled Alex recovering from humiliation, “I AIN’T LETTING A LITTLE PUNK LIKE YOU GIVE ME A BAD REPUTATION! DIE!!!!” Alex then proceeded to body slam the hooded man. “Oh dear,” the hooded figure replied. “Here is your drinks gentlemen, is there anything else I can get you?” asked a maid giving Mark and the warrior their drinks. BOOM “What the heck is your problem!” yelled Mark with exasperation. “YOU GOT A DEATH WISH TOO?” Alex retorted. As he moved toward Mark and he swung his axe directly toward Mark’s face. But the warrior intervened and stopped the edge of the sword with his foot. “Huh?” said Alex. “Listen up you weakling! There are some things you should know about me! If you try to hurt clients or hot maids, then I…” said the warrior, pointing to himself, “…won’t hesitate to kill you!” “What a load of crap!! You could never beat ME!!!!!” As the big man swung his axe again, the warrior kicked the table and his sword flew in the air. As he caught it he intercepted Alex’s blow and launched the big man away by hitting him with the butt of his sword. “Whoa, this guy is incredible,” exclaimed Mark under his breath. “You are totally welcome for the saving!” said the warrior putting his arm around the maid. “Get off me you jerk!!” exclaimed the maid hitting the green man on the head. “Hey, are you alright?” asked Victoria picking the hooded man off the ground. “Yeah, man… that guy was completely insane!” he replied. (Later that day in the forest…) “Well, I guess I should explain what I hired you for… I wanna take down this guy,” Mark said holding a wanted poster for LORD MOB, with a reward of $60,010. “He is the one that burned down Sector 5921. “Easy, these guys are a dime a dozen, I’ve killed plenty before!” replied the warrior. “I bet…” said the hooded man. He turned to Mark, “So do you know where he is?” “Nope…” “What?!” said the warrior, pushing the small hooded man out of the way, “Well have you got any leads?” “Nope…” said Mark, “Trust me, I’m sure we can find him. We need to—” “COME ON!! It’ll be fun!” interrupted Victoria. “I feel reassured already…” sighed the warrior. “Yeah…” half-exclaimed the hooded man. “We need to find him,” Mark started again, “I’m sure we will. I have some business to settle with him.” As the sun sets in the valley, Mark and his company decided to rest for the night. “We outta set up a camp. You go look for some food,” said Mark to the warrior. “No.” “Its ok. We’ll go get some food,” said Victoria. “FINE…” droned the warrior. “Then I guess I’ll just stay here and build us a hut,” said Mark. Later on the company was sitting, staring at the fire in silence. “Hey! I just realized we don’t know anything about each other, not even names!” exclaimed Victoria. “I guess I’ll start then. I’m Victoria. My mother died when I was just a baby, all I had to look up to my father…” “Keep your eye on the target sweetie,” said her father. THWANG. Bull’s-eye. “And my father was a great man. He kept monsters away, he gave to the poor, but it seems like even if you do every thing to please others… some will still want you dead. Orlac murdered him. Mark, that’s why I was there that night. I swore my revenge to kill him, but Mark did it for me.” “Well that’s all fine and dandy!!! But it is my turn now! My name is Longsword, and my story begins with that sword there,” the warrior pointed to a large sword resting on a tree, “After a terrible battle…” started the green warrior in his best story telling voice, “one warrior was left, he walked the Earth in search of aid, but collapsed in a forest. One day playing ball I found him. I took him to my mum, who nursed him back to health. He stayed to live with us. He was kind to us always telling stories of his vampire hunting days. One day he said he had to leave and that broke my mum’s heart. Before he left he stuck his sword in the middle of our town. He told me that the sword warded off vampires. But the next month vampires burned our town down. So I’ve been looking for the man that left the sword. One day, when I find him, I’m going to slap him in the face because he lied to me. Also I’ve been hunting vampires to make a living.” “I have a story too!” the hooded man piped in, “My name is Drew. I was an apprentice to a mage name Cloave. He would always show me the things he was working on. He was my idol, but I always thought that there was something off about him. I put it in the back of my mind because I didn’t want my perfect idol to have a flaw. But one day he showed me something I wouldn’t forget.” ‘Drew! Look at my new invention! I call it the Mega-Bomb!’ exclaimed Cloave holding up his masterpiece. ‘What does it do,’ I asked. ‘It will strike fear into all of the kingdom’s hearts. This explosive can demolish a whole kingdom and flatten the land it was on!’ said Cloave with glee. “I became scared of Cloave and I knew I had to destroy the Mega-Bomb along with him,” explained Drew continuing with the story, “One night I decide to hook up a delayed reaction to detonate the Mega-Bomb. So I snuck out and set it up. When I was far away the whole place exploded in a blaze of glory. I used my magic to strengthen my vision like a hawks to look over the damage. I thought I saw something come from the rubble but I couldn’t see what it was. To this day I still think he escaped.” “Well that’s enough depressing stories for one night. I’m going to bed!” said Mark. The next day the company arrived at a walled town. After they were checked for illegal goods they were let in. They asked around town about the whereabouts of Lord Mob. They got a heads up that Lord Mob lives in an elaborate cave system a mile north of the town. They decided to head there the next day after they stayed at an inn and had a good meal. As the company went to their rooms there was an evil lurking in the shadows. Mark went to bed feeling the strangest presence… a presence that he had felt once a long time ago. He shoved off the feeling and fell asleep. Mark woke to the sound of a creak and jumped out of the bed to grab his sword, but it wasn’t by the bedside table where he had left it. He dared not go into the dark where the creak was made. “I hear you have been looking for me…Mark,” said a voice out of darkness, “I have been watching you and your companions. But I have grown bored of waiting and now I’ve taken the fight to you. Hahaha!” The presence vanished and a fire appeared in its place. The room started burning around him and spitting out sparks which spread the fire to other parts of the inn. “Where is my sword?!” cried Mark searching desperately for his trusty weapon. Out of nowhere came a scream. “Somebody help me!” It was a woman’s voice reaching out to anyone who would help. “Crap I’ve got to hurry! There!,” said Mark picking up his sword, kicking down the door and running toward the voice. “I’m coming! Can you hear me?!” “HELP ME!” said a voice to his right. Mark turned toward the voice and saw a hand sticking out of a doorway and ran to it. The lady was caught underneath a large beam, which had fallen from the fire. As Mark struggled to lift the beam, Longsword showed up to help free the lady. After the beam was lifted, the lady was able to run to safety. Mark took off towards Victoria’s room and Longsword to Drew’s, neither of them were in their rooms. They then headed toward a loud noise outside the inn and saw their friends fighting an army of monsters. “It would be nice if we had some help!” yelled Drew to Mark and Longsword. “YEAH! That would really help out!” added Victoria shooting a zombie in the head. The two nodded at each other and joined the fight. The battle dragged on for what seemed like ages. Finally the horde of zombies and skeletons stopped coming. “You have done well!” said a caped figure standing above the rotting corpse and bones, “But now you’ll have to face ME!” As he flung off his cape it was revealed that he was Lord Mob. He raised more of his subordinates and the battle started again. Arrows were flying from both sides, swords were clanging and Drew’s firebolts burnt the zombies’ flesh making the air smell awful. After the dust settled Mark raced toward the figure, dropped his sword on the ground and had a fistfight with Lord Mob. Both were equal matched barely landing blows on each other. Mark had the upper hand because he was faster on his feet. Mark saw an opening and dropped to the ground kicking Lord Mob into the air. As he was flying in the air Drew shot a bolt of thunder at him and lifted him further into the air. Longsword sliced him across the chest and Victoria shot three arrows in his chest. Then Mark jumped into the air and kicked him back to the ground. When Lord Mob hit the ground he started to laugh. As he lay dying he sputtered, “You haven’t won. I’m only an underling! When you meet the boss you will wish you were dead!” and all was quiet. “So it seems that he wasn’t the real boss, but hey, it looks like we have another quest on our hands!” said Victoria. “Sure does but first we must need to check out his cave system for LOOT!” exclaimed Longsword. “I second that!” agreed Drew. “Well let’s get going!” said Mark. And so our company walked out into the sunrise, seeking treasure and new adventure. Going town to town looking for new stories and information about Lord Mob’s boss. What will they find next in this not-so-pleasant world?
