Chat Tell Us Your Troubles Thread - advice & friendly chats

It's ok. Ideally, this thread would have no reason to exist.

 

Quick ask : How do you apply for an internship without being an anxious mess?

Backstory : I'm planning on doing my mandatory 3 month internship on a design studio, and I'm on my way to finish my portfolio [just... 5 pieces to go!]. However, I have to go to the studio first and ask if there's a spot available, since it's a pretty popular place. And that's my greatest weakness. I have a bit of an anxiety issue, especially when dealing with people in public. And as you can imagine, me and applying for an internship is not a good mix. I haven't go there, despite its proximity to my current residence. My friend talked about it to me and I just.. felt hopeless. I don't want to lose this opportunity but at the same time it's too daunting for me. If I don't get the spot I'd have to find somewhere else, and that isn't a good thing.

I hope someone can help me, in any way. Thanks!

 

I hope I can help. I'm super shy so I have trouble with people myself. I don't know if this works for you but this is how I do it.
What I do is first visualise the route that I'm going to take: the least ammount of eyes on me and as few people close to me or behind me when I reach my destination. You may want to think what you are going to say but that doesn't help me much. When I actually decide that I'm ready I force myself to move. I have to keep moving and focuse only on my feet and the destination otherwise I might get the idea that I can back down. I can move as slow as I want to and with as many twists and turns as I want to as long as I'm aproaching the destination. When I engage in conversation I know that I'm safe and even though I'm super embarashed I the only way I can leave the conversation is by saying what I have to say.

 

oh, boy... Job interviews... those can be pretty scary.

I feel anxious whenever I'm about to do something new as well. It doesn't have to be daunting or scary. It can be something as simple as going to a part of town I'm not familiar with. If it's outside of my comfort zone, I feel antsy about it and want to quit.

So how do I cope with all this? I just let things happen. For me, the anxiety dispels once the inevitability of something is guaranteed, which usually means that whatever made me nervous has come to pass. Be it good or bad, I find it easier to deal with things that are happening than things that could happen. It is how I made speeches in front of a crowd, how I went to job interviews, made trips to the far end of the globe and even moved out of my hometown to a place I had very few acquaintances.

So my advice to you would be to trust and accept yourself. Trust that your talent will carry you through the challenges you face. Accept that you have limitations and that you can only do your best, regardless of what is demanded of you. And that It is good to worry about stuff. It means that you care.

 

Thanks guys, it really helped. I'm planning to apply next week, and I hope it goes well. Now I just have to prepare my nerves for it...

Wish me luck!

 

Well I don't have any personal problems, but I'm playing the unstable version of starbound and now I want to explore some more planets, but with the newer mechanics it is a bit harder, I want to explore an atropus world, but now? I want to be immune to insanity so I'll craft an priest armor. But for that I need golden fleece. I have NO idea where to find this. At all. I've looked all over the wiki's to find it, but can't find out where to find it. Does anyone know where I can find it? I know I can explore worlds like this one pretty freely, just have spare everything, but I'd like to have an armor set that grants me immunity to this debuff.

 

Your username reference is not lost on me.

But this is for topics other than Starbound. Byt truth be told I didn't know anything about insanity debuffs.

 

I wanted to visit home during christmas but the new client I'm working for won't let me.

I should've known when my employer told me to work there while they negotiate my vacations with this client. Turns out they weren't even notified of my intention to leave on vacation in december. I could just change the start date for it, right?
My mother will undergo treatment for Breast cancer. I had a second mother in auntie Francisca, but she had leucemia and died lonely because only a couple of member from her own family even gave a damn. Fuck, MY family berated my mother for bothering with a dying sister. Meanwhile I couldn't even make the time to visit auntie's grave.

Now my actual mother is in danger and the company refuses to give me my rightful time off on the date I need to because they are short on hands and money?! I won't be able to stay by her side during this crisis because the company is strapped for dosh to hire more capable individuals?! Guess what genius: It is because the company is made of nothing but interns that tmthe quality of your work took a sharp drop!! And anyone with a lick of self-respect won't work for the pittance you are offering! So they maneuvre and corner me until I either give up on seeing my mother alive and well or break and quit the company, because they don't want to fire me without just cause and hand me a fucking severance package?!! Well they can shove the package up their nostrils! I'm not giving up on seeing her. I'll sell my motorcycle if I have to.

heartless fucking bastards

 

I'd quit. But that's easy for me to say.

 

They did something like this to my former boss (you know, the one I harped about here). She got pregnant but she aborted due to some complications. But all they cared about was results. She needed a leave of absence because of what happened. She got fired after returning. Her boyfriend who got her pregnant then left her. But don't worry about her, she already got a new guy.

I know companies have no sympathy for their employees' plight. Not giving a damn is one thing. I learned I am working for monsters, though.

 

Hahaha, brother got rash on his face from razor that I dirtied. That's only a small amount of trouble that stupid gypsy will have for stealing $2000 from me. MORE TO COME!

You steal from as many of those stupid people outside the family as you like, but when you steal from a family member some thousands of $$$ you better be ready you jiving dumpster monkey. You get what you get, eH!

 

Perhaps consider a entry-level job in retail in your Mother's area until the situation is resolved? I apologize if this seems no-brainier/insensitive - but you might have more chance of finding a job in your field again than being there for your Mother again. If you have to give a reason for why you quit to a future employer "because my mother was dying" should suffice for any non-terrible bosses. Besides, I recommend working in retail for tempering one's faith in humanity.

 

I don't work well with people. I already have a grumpy face for a neutral expression and I am terrible at maintaining straight-faces. I once lost control and had a laughing fit to a coworker's face when someone else told a joke at the wrong time. Did you ever tried to convey a serious statement or an apology through laughter? It's not easy... In fact, they become even more convicted that they're being made fun of while you desperately gasp for self-control. So I won't even try to remain calm and patiently listen to a customer's "opinion" of my competency without my face twisting in anger.

That's 70% of the reason I chose a field where I spend most of the time staring at a PC screen and talking to myself rather than someone else.

 

I know this doesn't help too much, but it may help your spirits a little. My mom had breast cancer. She opted for a mastectomy. They removed the one lymph-node that was affected. She has now been cancer free for 7 years. Breast cancer is not a death sentence if caught early. I hope your mom will be okay and gets well soon.

 

I'm not an emotional person, normally.

People have constantly asked me if they can help me in some way, when they hear about me being lonely or just deeply confused about my emotional state. I'm not a depressive person, but not particularly happy either

I used to be suicidally depressive, yes. I worked myself out of that, both with medication and self regulation and control. That's all in the past.

But back to their questions...

I don't really know how to answer them.
I don't really know how to open up easily.
It's a constant struggle.
I'm terrified of being vulnerable, and
It's not that I don't trust people
But the closest person to me, unintentionally, caused me the most pain.
So my heart is super reluctant to open

I'm not trying to blame them. I deeply love them. It's all subconscious, really. Walls that appear whenever I try to reach out and...?

Feel what emotions people are sending me, I guess. But something within denies that, pushes them away.

I want to cry because I get frustrated, want to just

Spill it all out.

But it always retracts.

Always gets bottled up back in.

And I'm left feeling alone.

Feeling.... cold.

Physically, and emotionally.

I literally feel my heart grow cold. I place my hands over it, to try and warm myself...

But it doesn't work.

I guess I'm just confused. I don't really know what to do, and loved ones really can't help. Note that this does not include blood-related family. I could never open up to them.

Posting this in public now burned out the remainder of the energy I had today. I'll check back in after I sleep. Apologies for the broken speech.

 

When you're ready to talk about anything, we're ready to listen.
Sometimes, all you really need is an ear.

 

In understand not being able to open up, I personally have some pretty bad social anxiety. Not saying that's what the problem is here. I know that in my case it's just usually difficult to find the right words to say to express my deeper emotions to people. Even with my best freind, he usually has to coax the words out of me. I don't know if that helps at all, probably not. But still if you ever wanna just let loose, that's what this thread is for.

 

Well, apparently everyone openly thinks I'm a mean, rude and nitpicky dickhead who's bad at maths and physics because he doesn't take chemistry.

My god, I am looking forward to the year after next when I can leave this horrible place and have a fresh start in university.

 

/jk

Yes, high school sucks indeed

 

To be honest, that WAS my equivalent of opening up.

I'm not really sure how to stick emotions to words or such, but for the most part I'm troubled because I'm flailing around in the dark at this, and even my closest friends can only support me with their words. There aren't a lot of answers.