Other Skyloft Farm - A 'Farmer'/Alex/Shane Fic [**Complete**]

Alex hardly spoke a word to Kate when he got back from his next therapy session. He stared blankly at the tv screen as Jak colored on the couch next to him. He showed his father his drawing of Moose, but Alex only glanced at the picture.

"Jak,“ Kate said, hesitant. "Do you want to let the chickens out for the afternoon? I bet they’d love to eat the bugs in the field."

Jak nodded eagerly. He hurried to put his shoes on and ran outside with Dusty on his heels.

"You could at least pretend to show interest in your son,” Kate said, turning to Alex.

Alex said nothing as he continued to stare off into space.

"Will you please talk to me?“ she begged.

Alex pushed himself off the couch and walked passed her.

"Where are you going?” Kate asked as he headed for the door.

"Bar.“

*****

Shane found Alex at the bar, just as Gus had said, drunk out of his mind. Shane pulled him out of his seat and shoved him out the door, nodding his thanks to Gus as they left.

Alex stumbled out into the street with Shane behind him. Shane grabbed his shoulder, steadying him, and turned him towards home.

“Why are you doing this?” Shane mumbled.

“’Cuz.”

“I thought things were going well?”

“No.”

Shane pulled Alex to a stop. “What’s going on, man? Do I need to take you into the woods?” His attempt at a joke only made himself sick.

“No.”

“Then what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I can handle this. I’m fine.”

“Clearly.”

Alex sighed and met his gaze. “I don’t like talking about things.”

“Okay. We don’t have to talk.”

Alex snorted. “Tell that to my stupid therapist,” he said. He started to mumble to himself. “Stupid fucking therapist. I’m not crazy.”

“No one said you’re crazy.”

“They do things to crazy people,” Alex whispered, as if he were revealing some heavy secret. “They give them these zombie pills.”

“They’re not giving you pills, are they?”

Alex shook his head. “It’s only a matter of time. And then I’ll be gone forever.”

Shane pushed Alex’s shoulder forward and they began walking towards the farm once more. “You don’t need any pills.”

“I don’t want pills,” Alex muttered. “I know I’d do something stupid. Everything I do is stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Shane said carefully.

“I did this to myself. I’m the reason I was caught. Tortured. Almost killed.”

Shane hesitated. “What are you talking about?”

“Six months I was their prisoner, you know. You know what they do to their prisoners?”

“Do I want to know?” Shane muttered.

“No. No, you don’t. I almost died. All because Kent almost killed our whole fucking unit. I saved those dumb bastards, you know. Me. I did.”

“Okay, Alex.”

Alex stopped abruptly and grabbed Shane’s wrist. He glared into his eyes, fuming.

“Kent was going to get them all killed. I wouldn’t let him. I stayed back. I saved them. And I got separated. Captured. Tortured. I just wanted to die.”

“Alex…”

“They all lived because of me. Well, those who didn’t follow Kent on his suicide mission. Almost all of them died.”

Shane didn’t say anything. Alex let go of his wrist.

“They lock you up in this dark room. You can’t see shit. It’s fucking quiet as hell. You’re alone. Stuck there for days, weeks at a time. And when they do let you out, it’s not for fucking tea and cakes. They want answers, and they beat you down until you’re fucking crying like a bitch. You know what they’re favorite method of torture is? Electric shock. And it’s not some gradual shit. They just fucking give it to you. They cut off fingers. They put you in this thing where you can’t breathe. They threaten and lie. Sometimes, you hallucinate. You see things in the darkness. You hear things in the silence. They drug you. You see people. You see things that don’t make any sense. You see them killing the people you love.”

A tear rolled down his cheek as het met Shane’s gaze.

“I can deal with the nightmares,” Alex said quietly. “I always wake up from those.”

Shane cleared his throat. “I thought your therapist was supposed to help you…”

Alex turned away. “Yeah. He thinks the more I talk about it, the better it will be.” He burped into the night and sighed.

“It doesn’t help?”

“Does it look like it helps? I come home after being forced to relive all that and I just want to die.”

Shane pinched his lips together. “You can’t drink this away every night.”

Alex shook his head. “Kate can never know.”

Shane hesitated. “I won’t say anything to her.”

 

Jodi brought Kate a cup of coffee and sat across the table from her. Kent and Sam were out for the day, Vincent was with Jak and Penny, and Alex was at another therapy session. The house was quiet without the boys, but it was just what Kate needed. And talking to an experienced army wife seemed even more valuable.

“I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Kate said softly into her mug. She stirred the coffee aimlessly with her spoon, watching the cream swirl and mix with the dark coffee.

“Every time he leaves, I think it will be easier when he comes back,” Jodi said. “It isn’t.”

“He seems to have it together,” Kate said.

“It’s a wall he’s built up. He’s gotten better at it. For Vincent. But it’s not healthy. He hardly lets anyone in.”

“That’s how it is with Alex.” Kate hesitated. “Except he does it for himself. Some days, it’s like Jak and I don’t even exist.”

“Kent was like that, too, at first.”

“I wish I knew what I could do to help him.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Jodi said. “Except try to understand. Try to be there for him. Try to see what sets him off, what hurts him, what triggers him, and avoid those things.”

“I wish I knew what happened out there…”

Jodi shook her head. “You’re probably better off not knowing.”

“But if I knew,” Kate started, “I could help him.”

“Knowing won’t help him. Right now, he’s more worried about you and Jak.”

Kate met her gaze. “You think so?”

Jodi nodded. “I know so. He’s worried about a lot of things. That he can’t be the father he needs to be for Jak. That he can’t be the same husband he was to you. He knows when he’s doing something wrong, but he can’t help it. There’s a war in his head and he doesn’t know if he can win it.”

“He can win it,” Kate said softly. “He has to.”

“I think he will,” Jodi said, sipping from her mug. “He’s stronger than he even realizes. He will get there. It will take time. He needs to heal. But he will come back.”

“How can you be so sure? I’ve done nothing but research. I’ve read books and articles. Horror stories of guys who are never the same…” Kate’s voice shook. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“That’s the unfortunate reality in some cases,” Jodi said carefully. “But Kent comes back to me every time. And Alex will, too. I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t believe it. He’s been through a lot in his life, and I’ve seen him come out of some dark stuff. He will come out of this, too.”

*****

Kate walked with Shane to the library that afternoon. The sky threatened with rain and the air brought the promise of another winter. Kate pulled her hoodie tightly around her as the breeze found it’s way in through old, worn fabric.

“How’s Alex today?” Shane asked casually.

“He seems to be okay.”

Shane met her gaze. “How are you?”

Kate forced a smile. “I’m okay.” She hesitated. “I talked to Jodi today.”

“Oh?”

“You know. To see how she does it. Being an army wife and all.”

“At least you have someone who understands your situation,” Shane commented.

Kate nodded. “He’ll get through this.”

Jak and Jas bounded up to them, zipping up their jackets in the process. Kate smiled to her son as she took his hand.

“What did you learn today?” she asked him as they walked towards home.

“I can sing the alphafet-”

“Alphabet,” Jas corrected him.

Jak ignored her. “- and I can count to twenty and onety-one isn’t a real number and someday I’ll count to a hundred and yellow and blue make green isn’t that weird?”

“Did Miss Penny load you up on sugar?” Kate muttered.

“What else, Jak?” Shane asked, egging him on with a sly smile.

“One plus one is two because I can put one finger here and one finger here-” he demonstrated the math, holding two fingers together, “- and that makes two fingers.”

“Tell them about the book!” Jas said excitedly.

“Oh! I can read this whole book by myself! Once upon a time there was a little bear… Can I read it to you tonight?”

“Oh, dear Yoba…” Kate rubbed her temple as she and Shane split ways.

“Have fun tonight!” Shane called over his shoulder.

Jak pulled Kate excitedly into the house where Alex was already home. Kate hesitated in the doorway as Jak ran to his father. Alex picked him up happily and kissed his head.

“Mumma said I could read my book. Will you listen to my book?”

“Yeah, man,” Alex said. “Is it a good book?”

Jak showed the pages to Alex. “This is my favorite book. It’s about a daddy bear and a baby bear.”

Alex carried his son onto the couch, putting him in his lap as he flipped to the beginning and began to read.

 

Alex let himself fall onto the couch, exhausted. He had just gotten home from another therapy session after working outside all morning, preparing the farm with Kate for winter. He had started to lose count of those one hour sessions. Some were better than others, and while the afternoon wasn’t one of his worst, he wasn’t feeling as good as he wanted to be. His head pounded, and he just wanted to take a nap.

But the nightmares hadn’t disappeared from his life, and he was exhausted from long, sleepless nights. A quick nap should have been good for him. But just as they did at night, the dreams haunted him, and he awoke not more than a half an hour later, his heart racing. He pushed the images aside, something he had gotten better at doing, and made his way into the bathroom to cure his headache.

Alex stared inside the medicine cabinet. He just wanted something to make the pain go away. He let his fingers run over the various bottles until he found what he was looking for. He twisted open the cap and dumped the pills into his palm.

Jak poked his head into the bathroom, smiling at his father. “Daddy? Mommy said I could ride Moose today.”

Alex turned his gaze to his son. “Oh, yeah? Or are you just making stuff up?”

Jak giggled. “No, for real, Daddy. Ask her yourself!”

Alex let the pills drop back into the bottle until there were only two in his hand. He popped them into his mouth, secured the bottle, and closed the door.

“All right,” he said. “Go put on your boots and I’ll let you ride around the farm.”

He followed Jak as he hurried into the kitchen, sliding on his boots and waiting patiently at the door.

“Jak!” Kate shouted from his bedroom. “You’re cleaning up this mess!”

Jak’s smile disappeared quickly. His gaze shot to his father, guilty.

“Hurry, Daddy,” he said, motioning with his hand.

Alex crossed his arms. “Were you supposed to clean your room?”

“Um, I don’t know…”

“Tell me the truth, Jak.”

He hung his head. “Yes.”

“Well, we better hurry before Mum finds us and yells at us.”

Jak bounded out of the door excitedly, dragging his father behind him and across the farm towards the barn. Moose was grazing quietly in his paddock. He nickered to them as Jak and Alex approached. Alex leaned against the fence as Jak hurried to the barn, grabbing the halter and lead rope just as his mother taught him. He approached Moose carefully, cooing to the horse and patting his neck. Moose waited patiently as the boy snapped the halter over his head. He hung his head low as the boy lead him across the paddock to where his father waited.

Alex lifted Jak onto Moose’s back and took the rope, leading Moose slowly around the farm. Moose sighed and snorted as they took their leisurely walk, stopping to grab a snack on the way.

Kate watched from the steps as Alex walked the horse and boy towards her. She crossed her arms as they approached with guilty faces.

“Of course you would be in on this,” she said to Alex.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Alex said with a sly smile on his face.

Kate patted Moose’s neck and narrowed her eyes at her son. “You’re cleaning your room after this, boy.”

“Okay,” Jak said, hanging his head. “But can we go to the forest first?”

“Up to Dad,” Kate said, turning to Alex. She kissed his cheek and made her way back into the house.

“All right, kiddo,” Alex said. He clucked to the horse, encouraging him forward once more. “One quick walk around.”

Alex guided the horse around the lake, just as he promised Jak, letting the boy catch the frogs that hid in the old, rotted tree stumps before they made their way back to the house. They found Jas and Shane just on the other side as the lake as they passed. Jas hurried to Moose, holding a carrot out in her palm in front of him. Moose took the carrot happily, crunching it between his teeth.

“When are you going to get your own horse, Jak?” Shane asked.

“Don’t give him any ideas,” Alex muttered. “We’ve got enough to take care of over there.”

“I want a Moose, Daddy!”

“No more animals.”

“Please?”

“Oh, come on, Alex,” Shane said. “Give the kid a pony.”

Jak crossed his arms. “Ponies are for girls.”

“Fine, I’ll take it,” Jas volunteered. She turned to Shane and gave him her best smile.

“No ponies,” Shane said, crossing his arms. “Go ride the cows.”

Jas rolled her eyes. “You can’t ride a cow, Shane,” she said, as if it should have been an obvious fact.

“Go inside for dinner,” Shane said. When she disappeared into the house, Shane turned back to Alex.

“What?” Alex asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Are you waiting for me to give up?”

Shane shrugged. “Nah. Seems like you’re passed that.”

Alex hesitated. “Sometimes I think so.”

“That’s something, isn’t it?”

Alex turned to his son and smiled. “It’s enough.”

 

The winter started off quietly. The days were cold, but it hardly snowed, giving the old fences some relief from their usual heavy winter burdens. The animals continued to venture outside, enjoying the warm sunlight until it was too dark to see. Without much to do on the farm, Kate busied herself with Jak. When he was in class with Penny, she and Alex ventured into town, visiting Evelyn and George or hanging out at the saloon with Shane. And on the days where Kate was alone, Alex off at therapy, she spent time catching up with Leah and Maru, or meeting Jodi for coffee where she had found comfort in her company.

Alex had shown signs of adjusting to his old life. The nightmares seemed few and far between, and he spent more time than ever with his son.

One afternoon, Kate returned home from having coffee with Jodi, only to hear wild laughter coming from inside the house. Kate closed the door cautiously behind her as the laughing men turned to greet her.

“Oh,” she said slowly at the strangers. “Hello.”

Alex emerged, smiling.

“That’s Kate!”

The men raised their beers.

“She’s way out of your league, man,” one of them said to him.

“Let me know when she’s sick of your ass.”

“How do you put up with him?”

Kate smiled. “He’s pretty useful around here.”

Some of the men laughed sharply.

“Useful? He was never useful out on the front lines.”

“He was pretty useful saving your ass.”

They slapped Alex on the back and raised their drinks.

Kate hesitated and met Alex’s gaze.

“Boy, this kid’s got some stories,” the older looking one said to her. “I bet you’ve heard ‘em all.”

“Oh. Well…” Kate started.

“I don’t have stories,” Alex muttered.

“No one comes back from those shadow bastards,” another man said.

“Once your captured, that’s it. No one gets out alive.”

“I don’t know how he did it.”

“When you know no one’s looking for you, you get creative,” Alex hissed.

“We don’t go after POWs, especially when they’re in the hands of the shadows. That’s suicide.”

“It was suicide saving you all, but I did it anyway.”

The room fell silent for a moment.

“Kent was the one that found your tags,” one of the men muttered.

“Said you were dead.”

“Yeah,” Alex said. “Like the rest of his unit.”

Another man cleared his throat. “I think we need more beer.”

Kate shifted uneasily on her feet. “As long as you don’t clean out my fridge,” she said, forcing a smile.

“Ah, no worries, we brought plenty.” They cracked open another case.

“I heard they favor electric shock.”

“I bet it’s a kink.”

“Alex won’t admit it, but I bet he liked it.”

“That’s enough,” Alex muttered.

“Yeah, come on guys, not in front of the wife.”

“He’s got the scars to prove it.”

“On his nipples.”

They erupted into laughter.

“Okay,” Kate started. “I’m going to go… pick up Jak now.”

“Look, you upset her.” One man punched another in the arm.

“Come on, assholes. She wouldn’t understand our sense of humor.”

“That’s how we deal with bad shit.”

“Nice meeting you guys,” Kate said, sliding out of the front door. She hurried down the front steps as Alex chased her out.

“Kate, wait.”

Kate turned to him, hesitant. “Don’t worry about it. You guys have fun. I’ll be home later. When they’re gone.”

“They’re leaving.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine. Have fun.”

Kate made her way to the library. It was still early to pick up Jak, so she waited alone by the river, pulling her jacket close around her. She sensed a figure standing at her side, but she did not turn to him. She blew into her hands and shoved them into her pockets.

”They make this thing called gloves,” Shane’s voice said to her.

”They also make strap ons. Grab a pair.”

”Where’d you get yours?”

Kate turned to him and smiled. “I was born with ‘em.”

”Snap.”

”Did you just say snap?”

Shane shook his head. “Sorry. No balls.” He paused. “So, why are you standing out here in the cold?”

Kate shrugged. “Alex has some army buddies at the house. They’re kind of obnoxious.”

”Only kind of?”

”They have a weird sense of humor,” she muttered. “Didn’t feel like hearing war stories.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought I wanted to know what happened to him.” Kate hesitated. “I don’t think I want to, now.”

“Probably not.”

Kate turned to him, studying him. “Do you know?”

Shane looked away and shrugged.

“Did Alex tell you?”

“He was drunk,” Shane said. “Probably just making shit up.” Shane could feel her gaze on him, but he didn’t turn to her.

“What did he say?”

Shane sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I thought you didn’t want to know?”

Kate turned to stare at the river. “Should I be worried?”

Shane hesitated. “No,” he said slowly. He met her gaze. “He’s okay.”

*****

Alex stood in the doorway as Kate slipped into her t-shirt that night. Alex’s friends were long gone, Jak was in bed, and Kate was exhausted.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he muttered.

Kate turned to him, hesitant. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. They should have kept their damn mouths shut.”

“Was it true?” she asked.

“Yes. The Shadow People are kinky and I liked it.”

Kate narrowed her eyes at him.

Alex sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I never told them what happened. They don’t need to know. And neither do you.”

Kate nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. “But are you okay?”

Alex sat on the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms. “I think so.”

“You think so?”

“Better than I was six months ago. Isn’t that enough?”

“Not enough. But it’s a start.”

“A start is all I needed.”

 

Spring brought Kate and Alex the promise of a new beginning. Life returned to the farm once more, for another year, keeping them both busier than ever with new crops and new animals.

With the war now just a distant memory, Pelican Town was back to normal, whole once more, just as it was meant to be. Penny continued to teach Jas, Vincent, and Jak, bringing them to the farm often to teach them about the animals and the crops. And the adults continued to spend their evenings at the saloon, in the company of their friends, where they toasted to good health, good friends, and good fortune.

*****

Shane and Alex talked quietly amongst themselves outside of the saloon. The afternoon was slowly turning to dusk as they waited for Kate to return from the beach with Jas and Jak.

Jak hurried to his father, jumping onto his back and wrapping his arms around him. Alex hoisted him up onto his shoulders, taking secure hold to his son’s legs as he waved to Jas and Kate, coming across the bridge.

Kate kissed her husband’s cheek while Jas hurried to Shane’s side, showing him the shell she found on the beach.

“See you tomorrow,” Shane said to them. He watched as they made their way down the road, Kate and Alex hand in hand. Alex turned to her and kissed her as Jak stuck his tongue out playfully. Kate smiled the way she always did when she was truly happy. The way she did on her wedding day. The way she did in his arms. And the way she did now, walking home into the sunset with her family.

 

It's over. The expedition of Alex Mullner now over, we now await another train that shall take us to another unknown while we wait at a station in the name of Under Shadow. The expedition has been great, thanks to the great skyloft.

 

Surprise! How about a super sweet bonus/alternate ending?? Going back to chapter 43...

“Thanks so much for taking care of him,” Kate said to Penny. “I’m really sorry I ditched him on you…” She blushed.

Penny smiled and rolled her eyes. “Just this one time. You deserved a night off.”

Kate laughed hesitantly. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Are you asking me how my sex was with Shane?”

Penny smiled. “You do have this glow about you…”

“Shut up,” Kate muttered. “Don’t say anything.”

Penny sealed her lips.

“I don’t even know what it is.”

“One night stand?”

Kate shrugged and smiled at her feet. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh?” Penny’s grin widened. “I’m not one to say I told you so, but…”

“Whatever.”

“He likes you.”

“Now who’s acting like a teenager?”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. It’s cute. You guys like each other.”

Kate took Jak’s hand in hers. “We’re leaving now.”

“Just warn me next time.”

“Will do.”

Kate guided Jak outside into the afternoon. The air was cooler than usual for summer.

“Mumma, can we go to the park?”

Kate smiled down at her son. “Sure, kiddo. The day is yours.”

“Ice cream?”

“Maybe if you’re good.”

Jak jumped forward, letting go of Kate’s hand. “Shane, Shane, Shane.”

Kate looked up as Jak ran to Shane. Shane picked him up, groaning.

“You’re getting too big,” he said to Jak.

“Big enough for Moose?”

Shane met Kate’s gaze. “That’s up to Mum. But I won’t tell.”

Shane put Jak back onto the ground, who then bounded excitedly to Evelyn nearby, working on her garden.

“What are you up to?” Kate asked as Shane approached.

Without hesitation, Shane pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against her for a long moment, taking her breath away. Her heart raced and her mind turned to mush until he let her go. She stared at him blankly for a moment, still in his embrace, aware that eyes were on them.

“What are you doing,” she muttered quietly. She looked passed him to Evelyn. Jak babbled on excitedly to her, but her eyes were on Kate. And she was smiling.

“Just thought I’d make this less of a secret.” He pulled away. “I will do anything for you. Anything to see you happy. That’s all I want. All I’ve ever wanted. Even if it’s not with me. I’m serious. Please don’t do anything for me.”

Kate searched his eyes. “I love you, Shane.”

His heart pulled to her in his chest, but he hesitated. She was all he wanted. She was right there, and suddenly, he was so afraid of losing her forever. He didn’t want to move; didn’t want the moment to end.

“I love you, Kate,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against her. “More than you could ever know.” He let his lips brush against hers and she pressed into him. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, unwilling to let go, but she pulled away, and his heart sank.

She held her gaze on his and blushed. Jak bounded back to her side, tugging at her hand. In the distance, someone whistled playfully. Penny, Pam, and Gus stood outside the saloon.

Kate cleared her throat. “We’re on our way to the park,” she said, shifting on her feet. “Come or be ridiculed.” She winked at him.

Shane sighed loudly. “Yup. I’m coming.”

Kate let Jak pull her down the road toward the park where he hurried onto the jungle gym.

“Regret that yet?” she asked playfully as she leaned against the fence.

Shane wrapped his arms around her. “Never.”

 

Shane pulled Kate closer to him, wrapping an arm securely around her. He nuzzled her neck gently as her fingers interlaced themselves with his.

“At least Jas can’t find us here,” Shane murmured.

Kate shifted and sighed. “No,” she started. “But Jak can.”

“Guess it doesn’t matter now.”

Kate rolled over and met his gaze. “Everyone knows now.”

Shane rolled his eyes and groaned. “Yeah, why did I do that?”

Kate pushed herself up on her elbow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Shane scrunched his nose in disgust. “I don’t do that PDA thing.”

Kate laughed. “A little late for that, Romeo.”

“Just trying to prove a point. You didn’t like it?”

Kate lay back on the bed and let her fingers trace shapes into his chest. “It would have made a sappy perfect ending to a chick-flick.”

“That’s what I was aiming for.” He hesitated. “But don’t hold me to any high expectations. No romantic outbursts. No serenading in the night. That’s it. I hit my quota. Used up my whole romantic side with that.”

Kate smiled and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “Ah,” she said simply. “Do I at least get flowers once in a while?”

“Can I pick them from outside the house?”

Kate stood and put her hands on her hips. “Evelyn gave me those!”

Shane thought about this for a moment. “The forest?”

Kate rolled her eyes and left him alone in bed.

“Can I borrow some money to go to Pierre’s?” Shane called to her. When she didn’t respond, he hurried out of bed and into the kitchen. Kate stood with her arms crossed, admiring the bouquet on the table.

“So, how much did those cost me?” she asked, turning to him.

Shane shrugged. “Nothing at all. Some fairies must have dropped them off.”

“You’re a fairy,” Kate muttered.

Shane pulled her into him. “What? Don’t like ‘em?”

Kate pinched her lips together. “They’re all right.”

“Damn,” Shane muttered. “You are hard to please.”

Kate laughed and kissed him. “You’re using up all that romance.”

“I know,” he said through his teeth. “I should save that for when I’m in trouble.”

Kate pushed his chest playfully and made her way into the kitchen, prepping the coffee maker. Jak emerged from his bedroom, still in his footie pajamas, and sat himself at the table.

“Shane, can I have some toast?”

“I’m not your mother,” Shane said.

Jak stared at him blankly. “Why are you here?”

Shane met Kate’s gaze before turning back to Jak. “To make you some toast?”

Jak smiled and swung his legs. “Okay.”

Kate giggled to herself as she poured two cups of coffee.

“How long until he realizes I’m not his toast bitch?” Shane said.

Kate elbowed him in the ribs. “He’s going to expect you every morning now.”

“That could be arranged.” Shane kissed her forehead as she handed him a mug.

“Yuck.”

Shane narrowed his eyes at Jak. “That’s enough from the peanut gallery.”

Jak giggled. “Toast bitch!”

“Jak!” Kate shot a glare towards Shane who doubled over in laughter.

“I love that kid,” Shane said.

Kate hesitated. “Yeah?”

Shane met her gaze. “Yeah.”

Kate crossed her arms. “You’re a terrible role model.”

“The way it should be.”

“Don’t say that word, Jak,” Kate scolded him. She served him his toast. “Eat that and be quiet.”

“Mother of the year,” Shane said sarcastically.

“Drink your coffee and shut it,” Kate hissed to him.

“Girlfriend of the year.”

“Oh yeah? I’m your girlfriend?”

“Is that what the kids call it these days? I thought this was just a one night stand.”

“So, why are you still here?”

Shane shrugged. “Toast bitch.”

“Toast bitch loves me,” she teased, batting her lashes at him.

“Oh,” he groaned. “Yeah. I forgot about that. Romance hangover.”

“Caught in the moment yesterday? Looking to take it all back?”

“Can I?”

“Jak’s gonna be upset if you don’t give him his toast tomorrow morning.”

He sighed through his teeth and pondered for a moment. “Guess I gotta stick around. For the kid.”

Kate leaned against the counter and smiled. “For the kid.”

 

Kate gripped the sides of the toilet, panting as a wave of de ja vu washed over her. It felt like only yesterday when she ran in from her chores, vomiting into the toilet, unaware that she would never give birth to her second child. She stood, splashed her face with cold water, and quickly brushed her teeth. She stared into the sink, knowing all too well what was happening to her, but she needed to be sure. Jak was with Penny, and she left Shane in the barn. She could go to Dr. Harvey and back before he even noticed. She hurried out of the house, looking both ways, making sure Shane wasn’t around, and hurried down the road towards Dr. Harvey’s office.

Maru greeted her from behind the front desk when she walked through the door.

“I need to talk to Dr. Harvey,” Kate said simply.

“Go ‘head, he’s in his office.”

Kate found Harvey sitting at his desk, bent over some paperwork. He looked up at her and smiled when she entered, closing the door behind her.

“What can I do for you?” he asked.

Kate hesitated. “I just… need a pregnancy test.”

“Oh. Of course.”

Kate waited patiently in the cool room as Harvey came back with the results.

“I think you already know,” he said simply.

Kate nodded. “Yeah.”

“Shane will be thrilled.”

Kate felt her stomach twist. Something about it all didn’t feel right. It was all backwards. She couldn’t have a child with Shane. What would Evelyn and George think? She thought she was going to throw up again. She should have been more careful.

Dr. Harvey’s hand was on her shoulder. His eyes were soft and his smile reassuring. “You should know,” he stared slowly, “because of your miscarriage, this could be a risky pregnancy. We need to take extra precautions to make sure everything goes well and you and the baby are safe and healthy.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

Harvey hesitated. “If it’s early enough, we can terminate. It would be the best option for both of you.”

Kate bit her lower lip and nodded.

“You’re not alone in this,” he said. “I will do whatever I can to help you through this, no matter what happens.”

“You mean, in case I lose another child?”

Harvey pinched his lips together. “One step at a time, hm?”

Kate sighed and stood. “I’ve got this. I’m good.”

“I want to do an ultra sound in a couple weeks,” Harvey said, moving to his office computer. “And we’ll do many more as things progress to make sure everything is on the right track.” He met her gaze, his expression hard. “If you don’t show up, I will hunt you down.”

Kate nodded slowly.

“In fact, I’m going to ask you to stop working as soon as possible.”

Kate groaned and Harvey narrowed his eyes at her.

“There’s no exception, Kate. If you want to both survive this, you need to go easy on your body.”

“Okay,” Kate said simply. She cleared her throat. “I’ll see you then. I promise.”



*****

Shane was still in the barn when Kate returned home. She hurried inside the house to shower and change. When she got out of the bathroom, Shane was back inside, helping Jak color on the table. He looked up as she entered and smiled.

“All done?” Kate said as she threw her hair into a messy, wet pony tail.

“For today.”

Kate fell into the chair next to him and sighed.

“Rough day?”

Kate rolled her eyes. She leaned across the table. “What are we drawing?”

Jak pointed to his picture. “I drew me and Moose and this is Shane and that’s you.”

Kate scrunched her nose. “What’s that next to me?”

Jak met her gaze. “That’s my little brother.”

Kate hesitated. “You don’t have a brother, Jak.”

Jak returned to his coloring. “Yes I do. Clara said I could have him.”

“What?”

“Clara knows I miss her, so she said I could have a little brother.”

Kate cleared her throat. She met Shane’s careful gaze before leaning back in her chair.

“Oh. Well, how nice of her.” Kate stared at the stick figure baby in his drawing, feeling Shane’s eyes on her. She hurried into the bathroom where she threw up some more.

“My child sees dead people,” Kate muttered into the toilet, feeling Shane’s presence.

“I feel like we’re in the Twilight Zone,” he said. He hesitated. “Do you think he’s gonna be possessed by some demon? And we’ll have to get some crazy person to exterminate the ghosts in here?”

Kate pushed herself away from the toilet. “An exorcist?” She rolled her eyes.

Shane knelt on the floor beside her and let his fingers stroke her cheek. “Are you okay?”

Kate nodded quickly. “Yeah. I’m fine. Creeped out. But I’m fine.”

Shane watched her carefully before helping her to her feet. “Must be some imaginary friend.”

“Must be.”

 

It had been almost a week since Kate visited Harvey. She knew she was due for an ultrasound, but she still hadn’t told Shane, nor did she know how to bring up such a delicate subject. She still couldn’t make heads or tails of the situation and her wandering mind kept her up every night. She was sure Shane would be happy, but it made everything feel too real, too rushed, and she panicked.

She had been able to play the sick card the last few days, thanks to the continued morning sickness, but she knew she was running out of time. She could sense Shane was suspicious and worried. He took care of everything on the farm for her, but Kate knew that he needed to know before the ultrasound.

Kate stared at the tv screen, curled up on the couch. The clouds had rolled in, covering the afternoon in darkness. It was pouring when Shane hurried into the house.

“I did it,” he panted. “All before the rain.”

Kate smiled as she pushed herself off the couch.

“Beer?” Shane asked as he made his way to the fridge.

Kate shook her head.

Shane paused. “You okay?” he asked carefully.

Kate nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“You’ve been quite over the last few days.”

Kate shrugged. “Oh.”

Shane pulled her chin to him and kissed her. He let his hand rest against her cheek. Kate took his hands in hers.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” she said quietly.

Shane searched her eyes. “What?”

Kate moved his hands over her stomach and hesitated.

Shane followed her gaze to her stomach, then met her gaze. “Kate…”

Kate shrugged and forced a hesitant smile. “You’re going to have to drink for me for the next nine months.”

“What?”

“I’m pregnant, Shane. You’re going to be a father.”

Shane took a step back, bumping into the counter. “You’re pregnant?”

Kate hesitated. “Yes.”

Shane ran his hands through his hair as he stared at her stomach. “Oh.” His eyes met hers and he smiled. “Wow.”

“Yup.”

“Well,” he said with a sigh. “Good. That’s good.”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “Good. I’m glad.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Kate shook her head and laughed. “This is weird, right?”

“Oh, good, it’s not just me.”

“It all just feels backwards.”

“Yeah. Something like that.” Shane paused and smiled. “We’re having a damn kid.”

Kate hesitated. “There’s something else.” Kate watched his smile fade.

“What?”

“I talked to Dr. Harvey. He said that because of my miscarriage, this could be… risky.”

Shane looked as if he had seen a ghost. “What does that mean?” he asked quietly.

“It means things could go very wrong, very fast, if we’re not careful.”

“So, we’ll be careful.”

“Dr. Harvey won’t let me skip out on any visits,” she said. “I’m surprised he didn’t decide to move his office here so he can watch me every second of the day.”

Shane forced a smile. “Don’t give him any ideas.” He wrapped his arms around Kate, pulling her to him. “We’ve got this,” he said.

Kate nodded. “I know.” She kissed him.

“More work for me,” he said with a groan.

“Well, maybe next time you’ll think twice before you rip off my clothes.”

Shane shrugged. “I got caught up in the heat of the moment. And now we’ll have a little reminder.”

“It’s going to poop and cry,” Kate moaned. “I thought I was done with all that.”

“Good thing you’ve got me around, huh?”

“You mean you’re not going to crawl out the window in the middle of the night?”

“I have a feeling you’d manage to find me no matter where I run off to.”

“You’re right,” Kate said. “I’m crazy like that. And I have the demon child to prove it.”

“I like this,” Shane said casually, pointing between the two of them. “This is good. You’re a little crazy, I’m a little crazy. That’s enough to deal with this circus we’ve got going on.”

Kate put her hands on her hips. “That must be what I saw in you. You just have such a way with words. A wonderful way with awkward situations.”

“I’m full of awkward. I make the best of it. Just look at the circus I got going on down there.” He pointed with his chin out the window. “A god daughter with no parents, a freezer full of pizza, and an aunt that I think is ready to kill me.”

“You just can’t get away from it.”

Shane shrugged. “Something tells me it will be worth it.”

 

Kate and Shane found themselves in Harvey’s office the next week. Shane watched with an eyebrow raised curiously as Harvey squirted a gel onto Kate’s still flat stomach.

“You’re gonna get so fat,” Shane mumbled.

Kate sighed. “Thanks, I wasn’t aware of that.”

Harvey spread the gel around as the computer screen came to life. He smiled as he searched for the sign of life in her womb. “Better be nice,” Harvey warned Shane. “Afterall, she is carrying your child.”

“I guess I should start a tab at Pierre’s,” Shane commented. “Flowers and chocolates on hold every week.”

The three of them watched the computer as Harvey made a noise of approval.

“See that?” he said, pointing to the screen. “That’s your baby.”

Shane squinted at the strange image on the screen. “It doesn’t look like a baby.”

Harvey smiled. “Well, it’s the start of a baby. It’s not fully formed yet. It’s in the very early stages of development.” He leaned back, satisfied. “But so far, everything looks good.”

“When can we tell everyone?” Shane asked excitedly. Kate continued to stare at the fetus on the screen.

“It’s still very early, and a lot can still go wrong. We’re not out of the danger zone, yet. I want you to come back in a few weeks for some more tests,” Harvey said to Kate. “As long as everything stays on course, you’ll be out of the of the danger zone soon enough.”

Kate nodded, not taking her eyes off of her unborn child.

“Lot’s of rest, now,” Harvey said as he turned off the screen and cleaned off her stomach. “Stay off your feet. Shane’s more than capable of taking care of things over there.”

Kate rolled her eyes and swung her feet over the bed, adjusting her t-shirt over her stomach. “Fine,” she said with a sigh.

“Stop being difficult,” Shane said to her. “I’ve got this. I’ve had this since day one. I know what to do.”

Kate hesitated. “Are we done here?”

Harvey nodded and Shane walked her out of the office. They walked in silence back to the farm. Shane watched her carefully as they walked, but Kate’s mind seemed to be elsewhere. He let his swinging hand take hers and smiled to her when she met his gaze.

“What are you thinking?”

Kate turned her gaze back to the ground. She kicked a pebble out in front of her and kicked it again when they neared it.

“Nothing.”

Shane pulled her back until she faced him on the road. He pulled her closer to him. “Something.”

Kate avoided his gaze. “Just a lot on my mind.”

Shane frowned. “Did I do something?”

Kate shook her head for a moment, then shrugged. “You mean besides knocking me up?” She forced a smile, but Shane did not return the gesture.

“What are you afraid of?”

“Everything. Aren’t you?”

“Well, I wasn’t until just now.”

Kate pulled her hand out of his and turned away from him. “My last pregnancy didn’t exactly go well,” she muttered.

“We’re taking every precaution,” Shane reminded her.

Kate turned back and met his gaze. “My first child is fatherless. He’ll never know Alex. Alex never knew about Clara. I’m sorry if I’m not exactly thrilled about going through this all again.”

“It’s going to be different this time,” Shane said softly.

Kate hesitated. “I can’t do anything. For nine months, I’m going to be stuck doing absolutely nothing. I can’t drink. I can’t work. I can’t ride. Nothing.”

“Why can’t you just enjoy it?”

“I enjoy working. It keeps me busy. It was all I had to keep me sane when Alex was gone.”

Shane was quiet. “It’s not like that anymore.”

Kate bit her lip. “I didn’t mean anything by that…” She hesitated. “I just know I’m going to be worrying about this damn kid the whole time and I’ll have nothing to do to distract me. There’s just so much to do on the farm.”

Shane shifted on his feet. “You know I can take care of it all.”

Kate nodded. “Yeah. You’ve basically been doing it since Alex left.”

Shane didn’t say anything.

Kate ran her hands through her hair. “I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh. “I’m not making this any easier.”

Shane took her hands in his. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? Things are different now. I’m not going anywhere. You have me to help on the farm, to help with Jak, to help with our baby.” He smiled. “I’m not leaving you.”

Kate blinked through watery eyes. “I know,” she muttered. “I just don’t want to deal with these hormones,” she sobbed into his chest.

Shane smiled and wrapped his arms around her. “Trust me, I don’t want to, either.”

Kate pushed herself away and slid her arm across her wet face. She sighed and sucked in a breath. She patted her stomach.

“You better be cute,” she muttered as she walked the rest of the way home.

“It’s my kid,” Shane said catching up to her. “Of course it will be cute.”

 

The weeks passed slowly for Kate. While Shane busied his mornings on the farm, Kate found herself looking for any excuse to get out of the house. She walked Jak to his class with Penny and often times stayed with them for the day, helping Penny with her lessons.

Other days, Leah tried to teach her to sculpt and draw to keep her mind occupied, which often ended with them in a fit of laughter at Kate’s terrible stick figure drawings.

Kate continued to visit with Evelyn and George, often bringing Jak to visit as well, especially on the days when she was craving Evelyn’s cookies.

But soon enough, Kate found herself in Harvey’s office once more, with Shane at her side like a loyal dog. He grew more and more eager with each passing day, now more than ever that Kate was beginning to show as their baby grew inside of her.

The computer screen buzzed to life, showing the ultrasound as Harvey moved the device across Kate’s stomach like he had done weeks ago.

“There it is,” he said happily. “That’s a baby.” He turned to Shane and Kate. “Want to know the gender?”

Shane was beaming, but his smile faded quickly.

“No,” Kate said abruptly. She hesitated when they turned to her. “I want it to be a surprise,” she said quietly.

Shane smiled. “Yeah. A surprise.”

“Well,” Harvey said, cleaning the gel off of Kate. “You can share the good news. But I still want you to come back for some check ups so I can continue to monitor the progress.”

Kate nodded absentmindedly as Shane helped her out of the bed.

“We’re not officially out of the woods,” Harvey reminded them as he jotted some things down on a clipboard. “But the first trimester has the highest risk, and you’re passed that now. Things are looking god.” Harvey hesitated and met Kate’s gaze. “But that also means that your health is as crucial as ever, because if somethings goes wrong from here on out, it’s going to be much worse for you and your child.”

“Don’t worry,” Shane said. “She’s not going to be doing any work.”

“He doesn’t even let me go out to get the mail,” Kate muttered, rolling her eyes, and Shane smiled.

“Good,” Harvey said. “Then I’ll see you both in a few weeks. You’ll be almost to your due date then.”

Shane escorted Kate out of the office. It was still early in the morning, and Shane was eager to finish everything on the farm.

“What’s the plan?” Shane said. He let his lips brush against her cheek and Kate blushed. She was still feeling uneasy about the pregnancy, but Shane’s enthusiasm was starting to rub off on her.

“I’m going to talk to Evelyn and George before they hear from someone else,” Kate said.

Shane pinched his lips together and nodded. “See you later, then.”



*****

Kate eagerly accepted the freshly baked cookies from Evelyn. They were still warm, melting in her mouth. Evelyn sat across from her with her tea and smiled. Kate got a sudden wave of de ja vu and lost her appetite. She stared at the plate of cookies, debating how to bring up the subject that she was having a child with another man, who was not their grandson. Their dead grandson.

Kate’s stomach churned. She could feel Evelyn’s eyes on her, studying her. She knew that there was something on Kate’s mind.

“Don’t forget to bring some home,” Evelyn said, indicating to the cookies.

Kate nodded.

“You know,” she said, putting her cup down on the table. “George and I love when you and Jak come to visit.”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

“I just know it was hard for you, at first.” Her voice was soft, her mind on Alex. Jak looked a lot like his father.

“Hard on us all,” Kate sad quietly. “Especially right now.”

Evelyn cocked her head to the side, waiting.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

Evelyn nodded. “I know.”

Kate met her gaze. “You know?”

“I’d put money on it that you’re having a boy.”

Kate hesitated and averted her gaze. “I’m sorry,” she muttered out of lack of anything else to say.

“Why on earth would you be sorry?”

Kate shrugged. “I don’t know. None of this was planned. I never expected any of this to happen.” She could feel her throat tighten.

“Sometimes the best things aren’t planned,” Evelyn said, reaching over and taking Kate’s hands in hers.

Kate met her gaze. “I guess I just thought you would be upset.”

“Why would I be upset? You’re family. I just want what’s best for you. A healthy child. That’s all that matters.”

Kate nodded. “Yeah.”

“Shane would do anything for you,” she said. “He makes you happy.”

Kate shrugged absentmindedly.

“I see that he does. I’m grateful that you have him in your life. It’s okay to move on. It doesn’t make you a bad person. I will never think that of you.”

“Thank you,” Kate said to her as she swallowed through the painful lump in her throat. It was just what she needed to hear.

 

Kate found Shane outside the house, tossing a ball to Dusty. The dog bounded after the ball excitedly, throwing it in the air before bringing it back to Shane. He dropped the ball at his feet, then bounded to Kate when he saw her coming.

“How’d it go?” Shane asked.

“Good,” Kate said with a sigh. “She thinks it’s a boy.”

Shane smiled. He sat with Kate on the front steps as she looked out over the farm.

“Are you going to tell Marnie?”

Shane shrugged. “I guess I should.” He hesitated. “Just didn’t want to jinx anything.”

“Harvey gave us the okay.”

“Yeah. I know. And everyone will find out sooner or later.”

“More reason to tell her soon,” Kate reminded him.

Shane turned his gaze to his feet.

“You’re worried about Jas?”

Shane met her gaze. “I guess.”

“I don’t think you need to worry,” Kate said.

“Maybe.” Shane stood and sucked in a breath. “I was going to head over now.”

“You’re not telling them you’re going to die,” Kate said. “I thought you were excited?”

Shane smiled. “Yeah. I am. Just never thought I’d ever have to have this conversation with anyone. I don’t know how to do this.”

Kate took his hand and he pulled her to her feet. “I’ve had lots of practice by now,” Kate joked. “I’ll help ya.”

*****

Marnie and Lewis leaned against the fence, watching Jas and Vincent playing with the chickens. Jas ignored Shane and Kate, too busy chasing one of the chicks into a corner. Lewis nodded to them as they approached.

“You two look like you’re on a mission,” Lewis commented.

Shane hesitated, turning his gaze to Jas.

“Something like that,” Kate said. “Had something we wanted to tell you.”

“Oh my Yoba,” Marnie said. She slapped Lewis’s arm excitedly. “I TOLD you she wasn’t just getting fat!”

Kate covered her face, groaning.

Marnie turned to Shane and pulled him into her arms. “I thought you were going to be living with me forever!”

Shane pushed himself away, his cheeks red. “You’re kicking me out?”

“You’re not going to live with Kate and your kid?”

“What if that’s not what I was going to tell you?” Shane accused.

Marnie clapped her hands together excitedly. “You’re getting married!”

“No,” Shane muttered.

“Well,” Marnie said, crossing her arms. “You better start thinking about that, because I want that room back.”

Shane rubbed his temple.

“Now, now, Marnie,” Lewis said. “I think they have enough on their plate right now. One step at a time, hm?”

Marnie turned to Kate. “When are you due?”

“Sometime in the winter,” Kate said.

Marnie wrapped her arms tightly around Kate.

“Are you okay?” she asked her carefully.

Kate nodded. “I am.”

“Make sure Shane takes good care of you,” she said.

Kate smiled. “He does.”

Shane turned away from them and made his way to Jas.

“Can we talk?” Shane said to her. He pulled her off to the side and knelt down to her level.

“What’s wrong?” Jas said, worried.

Shane smiled and shook his head. “Nothing at all. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What?”

Shane hesitated. “Kate and I are going to have a baby.”

Jas beamed. “A baby?” She jumped up excitedly. “Can it please be a girl?”

“A girl? I don’t have control over that.”

Jas crossed her arms. “Make it a girl, Shane! I need someone on my side when Jak and Vincent are jerks. I’m outnumbered here!”

Shane laughed. “I don’t know if I want a girl,” he said.

“Why not?” Jas whined.

“Because you’re the only girl for me.” He shrugged. “And I wouldn’t want you to get jealous.”

Jas narrowed her eyes at him. “I need another girl around here.”

Shane raised his hands in defense. “I will try my hardest to make it a girl, just for you.”

Jas smiled. “Good.”

 

Kate was well into her final trimester, showing more than she ever did before as winter came blustering in, and she was feeling every bit of it. She couldn’t quite keep up with Jak the way she used to post pregnancy, but Jak seemed to understand and was eager to meet his new sibling.

Though the crops were done for the winter, Shane kept a few things going in the greenhouse, busying him in the mornings when the heavy snow didn’t bust through an old bit of fencing.

Jak was with Penny for class that morning while Shane hurried to prepare things for the next, fast approaching storm when Kate felt a strange pain shoot through her. She tried to ignore the familiar pains in her body that became more and more frequent. Labor pains. Her water broke, and she knew she needed to get to Dr. Harvey, but it was too early. She wasn’t due for another few weeks. She bent over as the pain shot through her for a moment, waiting for it to pass. She straightened as Shane came in from his work outside.

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyeing Kate carefully who gripped the edge of a chair.

Kate forced a smile and straightened. “Yeah.”

Shane raised a brow. “Are you sure?”

“Don’t trust me?” she accused.

Shane crossed his arms. “I just know you have a habit of hiding things. And you’re way too pregnant to be hiding anything.”

As if on cue, another bolt of pain shot through her. Shane ran to her side as she doubled over. He pulled her into him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked frantically. “What’s happening?”

Kate leaned on him and panted as the pain subsided once more. “I’m in labor.”

“Labor?” Shane repeated, panicked. “But it’s too early.”

Kate shook her head. “This thing is coming now, Shane. My water already broke this morning.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

Kate shrugged as she straightened. “Old habits.”

“Let’s go,” Shane said, taking her hand. “And once you get that kid out, I’m going to be very angry with you.”

Kate rolled her eyes and let Shane guide her outside, throwing his jacket on her in the process. The storm clouds were moving in quickly, darkening the sky as the wind kicked up. They hurried into town and into Harvey’s office, Kate panting with every labored step.

Maru hurried around the desk as they entered, calling to Dr. Harvey as she sat Kate down.

“She’s in labor,” Shane said quickly.

“How far apart are the contractions?” Maru asked.

Kate shook her head. “I don’t know. I lost track. Few minutes, maybe.”

Harvey hurried to them. “What’s going on?”

Maru filled him in quickly.

“Get her ready,” Harvey instructed Maru. “Let me see what’s going on.”

Maru helped prep Kate, getting her comfortable in a room until Harvey returned.

“All right, Kate,” Harvey said, entering in his scrubs. He set up a quick ultra sound. The image of the baby flashed on the screen. “You get it the easy way this time,” Harvey said. “We’re doing a C-section.”

“A C-section?” Shane repeated. “Why? What does that mean?”

“That baby is getting out, whether we like it or not. It’s still early, and I don’t think it’s safe to make her push this kid out, so we’re going to take it out ourselves.”

Shane stared dumbly at Harvey. Maru pushed him out quickly.

“Everything will be okay,” she assured him as he paced the waiting room. “I’ll come get you as soon as I can.”

“Can’t I stay with her?”

Maru shook her head. “We have to cut her open to get the baby out. You’re better off out here while we work.”

Shane winced and watched as Maru hurried back to Harvey’s side. He shot a text to Marnie and Penny, then paced the waiting room frantically, looking to the clock every few seconds until Marnie and Lewis hurried in. Marnie wrapped her arms around him.

“Is she okay?” she asked.

Shane nodded. “I guess so. Harvey’s doing a C-section.”

Marnie sighed. “It will be over soon,” she assured him. “You have no need to worry.”



*****

Maru finally emerged, smiling widely. Shane stood quickly when she entered.

“Do you want to see your son?”

Shane felt his heart stop. “My son?”

Maru motioned with her head and Shane followed her into a bright room where his child squirmed in a small tube.

“He needs to stay here for a while,” Maru explained to him, “until he finishes developing. But so far, he’s a pretty healthy guy.”

Shane stared through the tube as tiny fingers grabbed at the air. “Are you sure?”

Maru put her hand on Shane’s arm. “I’m sure.”

Shane let his hand rest on the glass and smiled. “Well, hey there, little guy.”

The baby turned to Shane, his eyes still closed, and for a moment, he stopped squirming. His fingers continued to curl around the air, sleeping soundly.

“Do you want to see Kate?” Maru asked quietly.

“Yes.” Shane’s voice was barely a whisper, afraid he might wake the child or hurt him.

“She’s resting. Let me see if she’s awake.”

Maru returned quickly and Shane followed her into Kate’s room. He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. She smiled weakly up at him, exhausted.

“How is he?” Kate asked softly.

“He’s damn tiny,” Shane said.

Kate forced a smile. “I haven’t seen him yet. Harvey said we can’t go home for a while.”

Shane shrugged. “No big deal. Jak can spend a few days with Marnie and Jas. I’ll be here with you as long as we need to be here.” He bent down and kissed Kate’s forehead.

Kate tightened her grip around Shane’s and met his gaze fiercely. “You should know… I am never doing this again. I’m done with this pregnancy shit.”

Shane smiled. “Agreed.”

 

After a couple of days under Harvey’s watchful eye, Kate was permitted to return home, but baby Cole was still developing in his little tube under Maru’s careful care. After a few more weeks, the healthy baby was ready to go home with his parents. Kate and Shane were eager to pick him up, cradling him close to them as they made their way back home. Shane held Kate in his arms on the couch as she cooed to Cole, unwilling to part with the life in her arms. But soon, he fell asleep, and Kate put him in his crib while Shane took Jak outside to play in the freshly fallen snow. Kate brushed the baby’s cheek until he quieted and eventually fell asleep.

After a few minutes, Kate pulled herself away from the child, convincing herself that he was safe. She returned to the kitchen with a sigh and decided to prepare dinner for when the boys returned. She watched out the window as Shane showed Jak how to kick a soccer ball. She smiled and turned to the table, where a packet of papers on the table caught her attention. She scanned the pages as Shane and Jak came back in from their play. Kate looked up and met Shane’s gaze, and his smile disappeared.

“Go clean up,” he said to Jak, pushing him towards the bathroom.

“What’s this?” Kate asked him, indicating to the papers still in her hand.

“That,” Shane began, “are forms for adoption.”

“Adoption?”

Shane hesitated. “I had looked into it a while ago. To… adopt Jas, officially. Those came in a couple weeks ago.”

“Shane… that’s wonderful.”

Shane shrugged and sat at the table. “Maybe.” He shuffled through the pages.

“Maybe?”

“They just want so much information,” he said. “And I… I’m afraid they won’t accept it.”

“Why not? You’re practically her father already.”

Shane sighed. “I look like a drunken failure,” he said. “I don’t work. I live with my aunt. Single. No family.” He hesitated, letting the papers drop onto the table.

“Well,” Kate started slowly. “That’s not entirely true. You have me. And Cole and Jak.”

“But that’s not how they’ll see it. We’re not married.”

“No,” she said slowly. “We’re not.”

“Nope.”

Kate hesitated. “I mean, should we be?”

Shane met her gaze, his brows knit together. “Should we?”

Kate sat across from him and stared at the papers. “This is all backwards,” she muttered.

Shane leaned back in the chair and smiled. “Yeah. Just a bit.”

“I don’t think we thought this through very well.”

“Maybe not.” Shane hesitated. “You and Alex did it right. I don’t even know what this is.”

Jak sat himself at the table with his crayons and paper, ignoring the adults beside him.

Kate smiled. “Guess we’re just a weird, broken family.”

“I wouldn’t say broken.”

Kate met his gaze. “You don’t even live here. How do we do this? Do you get Cole on weekends?”

“Weekends? I don’t know… every other day?”

They were quiet as they each thought about their custody of Cole.

“How did this get so complicated?” Kate muttered.

“We’re over thinking it,” Shane stated.

Kate met his gaze. “We are?”

“I can just… move in here.”

Kate raised a brow. “You can?”

“I mean, if you want.”

A smile started, but disappeared quickly. “What about Marnie and Jas?”

Shane hesitated. “They don’t need me.”

“Jas should move in, too,” Kate said quickly.

“She should?”

“If she wants. I mean, if you’re going to adopt her and live here, it only makes sense.”

Shane nodded slowly. “Yeah. Okay. I can talk to her.”

“Okay,” Kate said softly. “Then it’s settled. You’re moving in.”

“I’m moving in.” Shane smiled.

“Well, that was exciting,” Kate said, getting to her feet and moving to the kitchen.

“Isn’t it always?”

Kate turned to him, hesitant. “Don’t do this if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to,” Shane assured her. He smiled. “Just like to give you a hard time.”



*****

Shane made his way to Marnie’s that night, telling her the news. She snorted.

“It’s about time you get out of my house,” she said, nudging him in the side with her elbow.

Shane rolled his eyes. “Well, thanks for the room, anyway.”

Marnie kissed his cheek. “I’m happy for you, Shane. Just don’t fuck this up.”

“Gonna try real hard not to.”

Shane found Jas outside, throwing rocks into the lake. He sat on the dock and leaned back against his arms. Jas continued to skip rocks, ignoring his presence.

“So,” Shane started. “I was thinking of moving in with Kate on the farm.”

Jas stopped throwing rocks and turned to him. She smiled. “Are you going to get married?”

Shane hesitated. “I don’t know,” he said. “We haven’t gotten that far.” He paused. “Do you want to come, too?”

“Live with you and Kate?”

“Yeah.”

Jas’s smile grew. “It will be like Jak and Cole are my brothers.” Her smile disappeared. “A sister would have been better.”

Shane smiled. “I tried my hardest.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I love them, anyway.”

“Cole will need someone to teach him to read.”

“I’m good at that!”

“So, you’re in?”

Jas nodded excitedly. “As long as I get my own room.”

“You’ll have two,” Shane said. “One with me, and one here with Aunt Marnie.”

“Even better!”

 

Shane and Jas were officially moved in and things quickly fell into an easy routine. With three kids in the house, Shane and Kate had their hands full, and spring was already at their doorstep. Penny found her arms occupied with another baby as she brought Jak, Jas, and Vincent to their classes while Shane and Kate worked the mornings on the farm.

Shane found himself with the kids one afternoon after their work on the farm was finished for the day, giving Kate a free afternoon to herself. He held Cole in his arms as he shouted after Jak and Jas, who were off chasing the old soccer ball through the crops.

“Inside,” he ordered them as they hurried to his side, their hands and faces dirtied from their play. Jak continued to kick and chase the soccer ball toward the house, looking at Shane over his shoulder.

“I’m gonna be better than you!” Jak yelled to Shane as the ball bounced against the stairs, knocking him to the ground.

“Not if you let the ball knock you down,” Shane said as he caught the ball with his foot and began to dribble. He kicked the ball carefully back towards Jak, switching Cole in his arms.

Jak grabbed the ball with both hands and ran into the house.

“That’s cheating!” Jas called after him.

Shane followed them inside, pushing them into the bathroom and putting Cole down for his nap. He peered into the bathroom, suspicious of how quiet it had gotten.

“Hold still,” Jas said to Jak as she scrubbed his face and arms with a washcloth.

“I don’t wanna be clean,” Jak whined.

“You gotta,” Jas said. “Girls don’t like smelly boys.”

“Girls are smelly.”

Jas looked appalled with him. She stamped her foot. “You’re smelly.”

Jak grinned as Jas scrubbed harder. She narrowed her eyes in concentration until Jak pulled his arm away. Jas sighed dramatically and let the cloth fall to the floor. She turned to Shane, her hands on her hips.

“I’m never going to have kids,” she said matter-of-factly.

Shane smiled. “I used to say the same thing.” He winked at her.

“Please don’t have any more,” Jas said, and the, as a side thought, “unless it’s a girl.”

“I can barely keep up with the three of you,” he muttered.

“That’s why you got me!” Jas said proudly. “Look, I got him all clean.”

“Good,” Shane said with a nod of approval. “Then why don’t you two come out here? I’ve got something to show you.”

Jak and Jas followed him into the living room where Shane pulled something out of a drawer. He handed it to Jas carefully, and she turned it over in her hands. Jak stood on his tip toes and Jas showed him the pendant. He blinked at it, then turned his gaze to Jas.

“It’s the mermaid’s pendant,” Jas said to him. “Someday, you will give this to someone you love.”

Jak scrunched his nose. “Why?”

“Because it’s tradition,” Jas said with a huff. “That’s what you gotta do.”

“Can I give it to Mommy?”

Jas smiled. “Shane’s going to give it to her.”

Jak turned to Shane and studied him for a moment. “Okay,” he said simply.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” Shane asked.

Jas turned the pendant over in her hands carefully and smiled. “I think it’s perfect.”

Jak shrugged, unamused with the item.

“Well, let’s just hope she says yes, then.”

“She will,” Jas confirmed. “She loves you.”

“I sure hope so,” Shane said with a smile. He hesitated. “Do you want to do this?”

Jas knit her brows together. “It’s not up to me.”

“You get a say, Jas. We’re in this together. It’s me and you.”

Jas shook her head. “It’s not you and me anymore,” she said. “It’s all of us. You and me and Jak and Cole and Kate. This is our family. I love our family.”

“I love our family, too.” Shane pulled Jas and Jak into his arms as Kate came in the door, Dusty trailing behind her. The dog bounded to Jak and licked his face.

“What are you guys up to?” she asked as Shane stood with Jas and Jak. She narrowed her eyes. “This seems awfully suspicious.”

“Can I give it to her?” Jas asked Shane excitedly.

Shane nodded.

“Give me what?” Kate asked.

Jas pulled Jak towards Kate, displaying the pendant in their little hands. Kate stared at it in shock before meeting Shane’s gaze.

“What? For real?”

Shane shrugged. “I figured we might as well do this right.”

Kate shook her head, smiling through wet eyes. She took the pendant from them and let her fingers run over it’s markings.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I mean, we might as well.”

“That has got to be the worst proposal in the history of ever.”

Kate laughed and threw her arms around Shane, kissing him.

“So, is that a yes?”

Kate met his gaze, her arms still around his neck. “Only if you mean it.”

“More than anything.”

“Yes, Shane, I will marry you.”

Kate and Shane were married late that spring. It was a small, quiet ceremony. Neither of them wanted to make a big deal out of it, but Marnie insisted if they were going to get married, they were going to do it right. And according to Marnie, that meant flowers, (and of course Jas as flower girl) white satin ribbons, handfuls of rice, appropriate music, (they managed to talk her out of asking Gus to play) and a beautiful vail.

In the end, they got a little more than they had planned, but managed to convince Marnie out of the bigger items. Kate agreed to the veil to go with her simple, white dress, and a beautiful bouquet arranged my Pierre, wrapped and tied in a white satin bow. Marnie didn’t dare push it further for fear that Shane might stare daggers right into her chest.

“You’re a lucky man, Shane,” Marnie said to him. “If it were any other woman, you’d be getting the whole princess experience. That’s what women want, you know.”

“Kate doesn’t want all that fuss,” Shane reminded her. “You’re lucky you even get an invite.”

“Invite or not, you know I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss the moment Shane settles down with a family. I need proof, you know. No one would believe it.”

After the ceremony, they found themselves honeymooning at the saloon, treated to free beer from Gus.

“You know,” Gus said to them as he slid them their beers. Both Kate and Shane were back in their casual attire after hurrying into the house and stripping as soon as Marnie left them alone. They managed to celebrate in their own way in the few moments of alone time that they had before Marnie had returned. “I play a lovely rendition of your typical wedding theme.”

“I’ve heard,” Kate reminded him. “This ain’t my first wedding.”

Gus turned away uncomfortably, clearing his throat and muttering to himself as he hurried to get Pam another drink. Kate smiled into her glass.

“To lasts?” Shane suggested.

Kate lifted her glass to his. “To lasts.”

*****

The excitement of their new marriage simmered quicker than they would have liked as they were busier more than ever with the farm and the kids. Jas proved to be a big help keeping an eye on Jak and feeding and changing Cole. At the end of each day, they found just enough energy to celebrate a little more - the only honeymoon they’d get.

Jas was reading to Jak and Cole one night while Kate and Shane cleaned up from dinner. Shane slunk into a chair with a beer in his hand, anxious for a long night of sleep. Kate dropped a business card onto the table in front of him. Shane studied it carefully, then met her gaze.

“What’s this?”

“Our lawyer,” she said simply.

“Sick of me already?”

Kate smirked and shrugged.

“What do we need a lawyer for?” he asked.

“For the adoption.”

Shane hesitated. “I don’t have money for a lawyer.”

Kate shrugged. “Well, I do. And we’re married now. What’s mine is yours.”

Shane shook his head. “No. I don’t want you to do that.”

Kate sat at the table beside him. “I want Jas to be a part of our family.” She paused. “Unless you don’t want that…”

“Of course I want that.”

“But, do you really? Because, I was thinking… why stop with Jas? We’ll adopt her together. And you can officially adopt Jak. We’ll do it all. No loose ends.”

“All of it, huh?”

“Well, we’re a family, aren’t we?”

Shane smiled. “Something like that.”



*****

Kate and Shane found themselves at the lawyer’s office the next day.

“So, what’s the current parental situation, then?” The lawyer asked. “We’re working with two kids, correct?”

“Jak is my son, and Jas is Shane’s goddaughter.”

“Jak’s father will need to give up his rights, along with Jas’s parents.”

“They’re both dead,” Shane said frankly.

The lawyer paused, caught off guard. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Both of Jas’s parents? What about Jak’s father?”

Kate cleared her throat. “He’s dead, too.”

He flipped through some pages, spreading them out before Kate and Shane, clearing his throat in the process. “My condolences,” he said quietly as he took out a pen.

“Pretty standard procedure, then,” he said to them, indicating where they needed to sign with his pen. “Since no one needs to give up their parental rights, this should go smoothly.” He met Kate’s gaze and smiled.

Kate and Shane flipped through the pages, signing on each indicated line. When they finished, the lawyer gathered the pages up and put them into a folder.

“This doesn’t mean anything, yet,” he said to them. “But, as long as background and home checks go well, I see no reason why this won’t go through. I’ll be in touch.”

Kate and Shane shook his hand and left the lawyer’s office, each lost in their own thoughts as they made their way out of the city towards home.

“Smooth process,” Shane muttered under his breath.

Kate put her hand over his as he drove. “Everything will work out,” she said softly. Shane met her gaze briefly and smiled.

“Yeah,” he said and smiled. “It will.”

 

It had been weeks before they heard from the lawyer again, who called to inform them that everything checked out in their favor. All that was left was the papers signed by the court, which they were expected to receive in a few more weeks.

Fall made an appearance once more and Kate and Shane found themselves preparing for another winter. Jas and Jak helped collect the eggs from the coop as Kate bounced Cole in her arms, cooing to him playfully. When they were finished in the coop, they hurried towards the house, where Shane flipped through the mail on the front steps. He unfolded the contents of one of the letters, his eyes scanning it quickly.

“What’s that, Shane?” Jak asked, reaching for the paper curiously.

Shane turned to his family, his eyes wet. “This,” he said with a smile, “is the moment I’ve waited my whole life for.” He knelt down and gave Jak and Jas individual papers. Certificates.

“What is it?” Kate asked carefully.

“Adoption certificates.” Shane met her gaze and smiled.

Kate’s heart leapt in her chest. “Seriously?”

“So, you’re my dad now?” Jas asked, meeting Shane’s gaze. “And Kate’s my mom?”

“I know,” Shane started with a shrug. “Not the best options in the world.”

Jas grinned and threw her arms around Shane’s neck.

“Momma, read!” Jak said to Kate, giving her the paper.

“This means,” Kate choked out. “That Shane is your daddy now.”

“Oh,” he said, unimpressed. “Can I ride Moose now?”

“I guess Jak couldn’t care less,” Kate laughed.

Shane smiled. “He’s got his priorities straight.”

“You’re my brother, now,” Jas said to Jak, her hands on her hips. “And since I’m older, you have to listen to what I say.”

Jak turned to Jas, his eyes hopeful. “Can I ride Moose now?”

“Okay!”

“That’s not how it works, Jas!” Shane yelled to them as they hurried across the farm to the barn.

“Welcome to fatherhood,” Kate muttered through her grin.

Shane pulled her into his arms. “I guess we did it right after all.”

“In another universe, maybe.”

Shane kissed her. “Nothing beats this one.”