Chat Hels Chatroom IV: Helen High Water

Eh I had a relapse unfortunately. Kinda makes me ashamed of myself.

 

Wait, wait wait wait, if you have access to undead who don't need food then you can easily form a monopoly in SO many ways. You could provide free labor, and by free I mean it's free for you to provide it, not for anyone to receive it. You can work on farming, likely buying up grave yards before anyone knows what you're doing and turning them into undead workers+well fertilized farms for your food production. You'd have to be a bit careful about this, given once people notice that all their loved ones are being turned into zombies+Skeletons they might start calling police or military to help deal with you, but so long as you remain polite, civil, and turn any soldiers they send into zombies you'll be fine. (And better armed.)
Then, in just a few short years of peaceful hostile takeover you'll own the world.

 

Hmmm, care to join me?

 

What? NO! I'm not dead yet, and I'm not planning to any time soon! I will FIGHT you for that right!

If you mean join you to help the necromancer cause in a way that doesn't involve turning into a zombie, I mean I don't see why not. It's either join you now, join you later as a zombie, or join you even later as a citizen of your new world order.

 

I meant the helping my takeover one. You're welcome to any though.

 

Well, I'mma give quitting smoking another try.

 

I wish you luck Surenu! For health!

 

To be honest, the addiction is so bad that in about 12 hours I'll let you shoot me into both knees for a cigarette.

 

I'll shoot you in the knee if you touch a cigarette...

 

Plz use a .22 or some other small meme caliber though.

 

I'll shoot you with a BB gun, have fun pulling little metal pellets out of your skin.

But seriously, don't smoke, we all want you around for LOOOOOOOONG time.

 

Fiiine!
*Puts away anti-material rifle*

 

Hi peoples, here are some cute cats

 

These cats. These purrs. These Zz's.

So gud.

 

Heya how's it hangin'?

 

And here is the reason why I'm emptying my Skyrim world.
Dead men can spin no lies nor tell no tales.
Which means the stupid guards stop bitching about arrows to the knees and stolen sweetrolls.

Fine by me, but it will force me to go quantity over quality though.
*grabs the H&K 416*

G'afternoon y'alsl. How's life treating you today?

 

Uh, that's a 5.56. A carbine round. Thinking about it, please don't shoot me after all.

 

Just don't smoke and we'll have no reason to use any of these.

 

I wish I had pulled through the first time because every new attempt is a tiny bit more difficult. It hasn't even been 12 hours, but I already feel like I could kill a man with my bare hands right now. I'm so cranky, I must resemble an anti-personell mine.