Chat Hels Chatroom IV: Helen High Water

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Hel, May 16, 2017.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. MilkCalf

    MilkCalf Supernova

    I'm sorry if I said something wrong. You know I care a lot and I'm 99% sure everyone else here does too.
     
    Hel, MetaFace, Waffle-Chan and 5 others like this.
  2. The Purple Dragon

    The Purple Dragon Master Astronaut

    Hi hi how you guys doing?
    The show is Phinius and Ferb. I don't know who says that though.
     
  3. Firebird Zoom

    Firebird Zoom Oxygen Tank

    Isabella.
     
  4. Parrotte

    Parrotte Supernova

    right what they said
     
  5. Hel

    Hel ✨ Johto's Finest ✨ Forum Moderator

    After Su telling me everything and why things have happened the way things have, I would like to apologise for my outburst and my storming off.

    As a few members know, daily life for me is becoming more and more difficult. Emotional breakdowns are back (although I may have not said about that), my breathing has been worse, stress is on a rise up, and so have the thoughts of killing myself. This place and you guys are mainly the only things keeping me sane when I am home. Ironically for a "Social Butterfly" I am a seriously lonely soul IRL, and have spent the last week trying to be out with people, only really to be ignored. Loneliness makes me think bad things which is why I want to be out with people IRL or chatting to peeps here. It keeps the bad thoughts away. A week of bad thoughts have sent myself haywire. Leaving work today I took home my work knife with intentions to hurt myself. And after all of this today it threw me over the edge. I had to go. Otherwise that knife would not be silver.

    What happened tonight really is like throwing mentos in a coke bottle. Me being the coke bottle. I have problems, we all do. Mine affect my wellbeing and sleep. I am convinced I have Insomnia. Work is stressing me more when it shouldn't. I constantly feel lonely at home. You guys and my mom is the only human interaction I have had outside of work for over a week. The thoughts of me "moving on" are still there, although I have never been more close after today. I was even close to giving this place over to Bloodsi and asking someone to delete my account. I felt like I lost everyone and everything. And tonight I felt more than prepared to make a stupid mistake over everything that's been going on.

    Long story short. I got a lot on, and this never helped whatsoever. I'm sorry. I feel horrible about this whole thing.
     
  6. Surenu

    Surenu The End of Time

    No need to. I guess I can speak for everyone here that we're all glad for you being here.
    :cathug: Dr. Su definitely prescribes hugs tho.
     
  7. Pangaea

    Pangaea Forum Moderator

    I know those thoughts well. I'm going to be a bit of a hypocrite and say you shouldn't hurt yourself. It doesn't solve anything. And certainly don't suicide. You may think it'll stop the pain but all it will do is transfer that pain to others.

    Like Su said, we're glad you're here. So please don't go! Also, I'm here if you want to talk. (;
     
    MetaFace, Parrotte, MilkCalf and 7 others like this.
  8. Parrotte

    Parrotte Supernova

    *tries to search for any blame or dissapointment in himself*
    *can't find any*

    We all have our ups and downs and we all have moments where we show these ups and downs.
    It's what makes us human, eh?

    Don't you ever dare leave us though. This thread is yours and it carries your name. You are our ruler as long as we're in this thread and we're your loyal thread-citizens. :p
    And you can never lose everyone and everything, because you'll always have us, this thread and the Starbound community as a whole. We're here to catch you when you fall and get you back on your feet as much as we can. We're always here for you if you need someone to talk to. We're on Steam if you need someone to talk to. Hell, I am sure you can ask anyone here and we'd be on Skype/WhatsApp/phone if you need someone to talk to.

    And I know we're not really more than acquaintances across the internet , but regardless, I really like you as a person here on the forums, and I'm sure I'd like you as a person in real life.
    And I'm not just saying that because I don't want to get banned!

    Now you just tell us how we can take some of those Mentos away. I don't like coke bottles exploding.
    :cathug:




    I'm not cut out for this peptalk shit. Sorry if it sounds corny or weird :/
    But I do the best I can, I guess.

    I hope the parrot's silly waddling can cheer you up a bit.
    (It has CC)

    also


    I'm going off now though. So good night or what have you, everyone, and I'll see you all tomorrow~ (or whatever it is, for you!)
    Byeee~
    :catvanish:
     
    MetaFace, MilkCalf, Surenu and 7 others like this.
  9. I_am_the_Storm

    I_am_the_Storm Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    Although I'm a member of this community for short time, and thus I don't know you so good as other members do, I feel a need to publicly say few words...

    YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. Period.
    Your life is the most important thing and at the same time, the only thing you will get only once.
    I'm kinda understand your problems : I'm a man who got an incredibly awful face and thus making a communication with people a very difficult task, resulting in being alone forever, my ex-girlfriend leaved me four years ago because of my handsome, healthy and talented friend, I have an inborn disease, which may cause I'll end on the wheelchair and even now I noticing how my hands shaking while holding one stupid cup of tea, and everything else vent from bad to worse. I've tried to kill myself for several times just because of these problems/events. But I think there are people, whose problems are more serious than mine, though...
    And you know what? I said to myself : "Fu** it. I want to die because of old age and not under the wheels of passing truck. No matter what happens to me, I want to die on death-bed with thought, that I lived a full life."

    The reason why am I typing this is following : When you begin to think, that you can't manage the problems/events in real life and thus start looking for knife, recall the members of this community, your family, and every happy moment, that happened to you. Who said that happines will end one day? Do everything that makes you happy, realize your dreams and fu** all bad things that destiny has prepared for you. Do you feel lonely? You don't need to because we are here for you EVERY day.

    As I said before, I don't know so well as other members of this community, because I'm quite new here. But even in this little time I've spend here is enough to find out, that you are a good person, who need US, the humble members, and we need YOU, the Empress of this chatroom and community.
     
    MetaFace, Parrotte, MilkCalf and 6 others like this.
  10. Hel

    Hel ✨ Johto's Finest ✨ Forum Moderator

    Thank you guys for the kind words. Today has been a long and emotional day. I really appreciate it helping me in my time of need.

    Today and its events tipped me overboard. And as Su said Every raincloud is followed by sunshine. Today I felt guilty about what I did, and even letting out the bit I said made me feel better.

    I'm still really sorry about storming out, and tbh I am sorta glad I did in the end. But hey. it happened. Lets put that episode behind me. Lets see what tomorrow brings.
     
    MetaFace, Parrotte, MilkCalf and 5 others like this.
  11. I_am_the_Storm

    I_am_the_Storm Scruffy Nerf-Herder

    That's right! Leave bad things on junkyard, where they belongs, and look forward to miracles of life, what awaits you. Don't stress yourself for things you cannot change.

    This is the battle you must win at all cost, otherwise your soul and mind will be entirely lost.
     
  12. Jimlad 42

    Jimlad 42 Supernova

    I have no idea what to say. I'm sorry.
    I...
    I don't know. I'll pray for you, that's all I can really say. I'll pray for you, and I'm sorry.
    I could try harsh words, but that's not what you need right now. You don't need me telling you if you hurt yourself I'll have to drag you out of hell to tell you straight. That's just not what you need.
    I should try kind words, but I have no words to say how I feel about you. The closest I could get is to find a song, and I don't think there's any in my play list that could say it exactly right. The closest I can think of is Hey Brother, But I have doubts that a simple song will truly help you here in any way.
    I could try to tell you how much you're needed, but I'm sure whatever demons you're facing right now can tell you a thousand and one ways each one is wrong, and I could never explain all the ways you're needed. All I can think of that are relevant are that if you go, if you distance yourself here and... If you do something stupid, I wouldn't come back here. I might stick around the forums, but... Not this thread. You're it's soul, and I would always be reminded of you if I came back. Just reading this message and writing this post has made me cry in a way I've only done once before, when my best and really only friend told me he was going to be leaving me.
    All I can think to do is apologize. I'm sorry, I never realized how much you were going through. If it seemed like I was making light of your issues, it's because I had no idea. I've never been depressed. I've never been fully pessimistic even, I've always been... I've always been that person that's focused on the good of everything in everything, and that's made me blind to the emotions of anyone who... doesn't.
    The only other thing I can do is pray. Pray to God to help you, to give you strength. I'm not comfortable saying this sort of thing; what counts as relevant and what counts as unwanted pushing? But this... I feel safe with this.
     
    Hel, MetaFace, Parrotte and 3 others like this.
  13. Firebird Zoom

    Firebird Zoom Oxygen Tank

    Oh...

    I'll be honest, I didn't really read your post when I liked it, but, honestly, now that I did, I feel really bad for just skimming it like that.

    "But you know? You're really very kind / So just be yourself and these things will get better in time!"

    Those two lines from one of the songs I've honestly enjoyed listening to, really encapsulate the solution to this whole mess.

    I feel like you should listen to these three songs, Hel, if only for the message of hope they convey.


    Hope you start to feel better soon, Helen... For all our sakes.

    Wow that was all over the place.
     
    Hel, MetaFace, Parrotte and 3 others like this.
  14. Jimlad 42

    Jimlad 42 Supernova

    Nirning guys and Red Mage.
    Nirning Valak.
    Nirning Charlatan.
    Nirning Surenu.
    Nirning EMag.
    Nirning Hidari.
    Nirning Firepaw.
    Nirning Milkcalf.
    Nirning Metaface.
    Nirning Blaze.
    And good Nirning Hel. I hope you can sleep well tonight.
    :zzz:
     
  15. Mega flapper

    Mega flapper Existential Complex

    Hel... I'm a little late, but here I go:

    I know we have never talked extensively, but believe me when I say this: You are my friend. You are Surenu's friend. You are a friend to Firepaw and Jimlad and Firestorm and also to everybody else who resides in this thread. I don't need to ask them if this is true. We're all here in this thread because we are friends. Sure, friends over the internet - but what we say to you - and to each other - is all from the heart. That's what counts.
    Now, onto your stress problems. Hel, as your friend, I'm asking you to take some you time. Go get a massage or something. Whatever you like to do, go do. Get rid of your stress like a wild horse gets rid of its rider.
    We are here for you. Please don't ever feel like we aren't or that we don't care about you. :cathug::nod:
     
    Hel, MetaFace, Jimlad 42 and 5 others like this.
  16. Waffle-Chan

    Waffle-Chan Guest

    And Mr. Waffle is always up for handing out waffles :3
     
  17. BigEaredKittens

    BigEaredKittens Master Astronaut

    Maybe a different job with better hours would help with stress?
     
  18. The Purple Dragon

    The Purple Dragon Master Astronaut

    Maybe a massage too, or instead. Either way a massage would help.
     
  19. Parrotte

    Parrotte Supernova

    Good afternoon, everyone. Hope everyone's feeling good or at least better, today.

    I dread the coming week for I will have more legos to sort.
    I stepped out of bed and stepped onto a small pile of minifigs I left at a bad spot, this morning. It was not pleasant.
    Digging through the lego made me want to build stuff again, but I'd rather not have to take it apart. Maybe I should use one of those computer model creators and order parts based off of that. Hmmm.

    by the way

    edit: sounds better on bandcamp
    http://music.soundoftheaviators.com/track/reflections-of-a-dream-part-2-finally-home-mix
     
  20. Surenu

    Surenu The End of Time

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page