Defend Yourself!

Shit, I actually am. Can you blame me though?

The next poster licks things to claim them as their own.

 

The look on your enemy's face as you claim them is delicious, almost as tasty as the stew you can make afterwards.

The next poster stole my favorite skinning knife, it's just not the same with other knives!

 

I needed something to farm with.

The np has no idea what they are doing.

 

*detonates 700kg of captured enemy weapons way too close to own position* ...you may have a point.

The next poster made me tired.

 

Get your energy up, Grand Pa

NP is an old fart

 

Nah, you're all just too young.

The NP is addicted to social media.

 

If this forums counts as social media I guess I'm guilty as charged.

The next poster intentionally interfereres with romances.

 

Only if they're badly written.

The next poster made war, not love.

 

Well, the Taliban were playing hard to get after all.

The next poster ate all my potatos.

 

I can understand why you would think that. I do love potatoes more than I should. But by my honor, I dare not steal someone else's food.

The next poster doesn't share their food.

 

It's frustration-binging.

The next poster is the cause of my frustration.

 

Ah the internet. Where anything is someone else's fault.
I accuse the next poster of posting.

 

Well, how else could I dispute your accusation.

The NP mercilessly slew Sif.

 

I didn't want to do it, but I had to go avenge my boy Artorias. No chaos ape tosses my main man around like that and gets away with it.

The next poster insulted Hawkeye Gough's marksmanship.

 

He couldn't hit me from three feet away!

The np can only reliably hit things with a potato.

 

A good spud gun is all I need. Look out world!

The next poster just won't twist and shout.

 

Isn't Little Richard retired already?

The next poster caused the Great Famine in Ireland.

 

Potatoes are gross yo

NP is a potato

 

I know defending oneself from accusations is the rule here, but I can't let this slide. If I were a potato I'd be a delicious, nutricious and versatile food. Your opinions are wrong and you should be ashamed.

The next poster wouldn't know good food if it were thrown in their faces.

 

Of course I wouldn't; throwing food is an inefficient way of eating it, it just splatters all over the place.

The NP has been throwing plates about the place, wasting all that food.