Defend Yourself!

I like garlic but had a date that day. She didn't like the smell of mouthwash though

The next poster stole my garlic.

 

I've got vampire problems, I think that takes priority over your garlic-flavored mouthwash.

Next poster is indecisive.

 

Sure I am, Wait, I mean, I'm not. Scratch that, I am. No wait, I'm not.

The next poster broke my last lighter.

 

It's for your own good. Do you know how many people die of lung cancer caused by smoking every year?

The next poster forced my hand in commiting a homicide.

 

You know he deserved it. And didn't you like that feeling of power?

The next person made it rain today.

 

Yeah... it happens everytime I forget to put the dust cover on my motorcycle. Mea culpa.

The next poster stole the crown.

 

It's not theft if it belongs to me.

The next poster causes all my deja-vu's.

 

I don't recall doing anything of the sort.

The next poster stole my crown.

 

It was so shiny though!

The next poster scratched all my old CDs.

 

Just wanted to experiment some DJing on compact disks. It is not the same, let me tell ya... :c

The next poster clogged the pipes.

 

The pipes were clogged for maintenance purposes as a test.
The Next Poster tried to sell weapons to various unsavory groups.

 

There's only one philosophy I follow, and that's the mighty American Dollar.

The next poster filed false charges against me.

 

Guilty until proved otherwise.

The next poster crashed the party.

 

I wasn't even invited! ... hang on, that may be part of the problem.

The next poster is a big old meanie.

 

I'm not that big. I'm 5.6 feet tall. As for the other two adjectives, I plead guilty your honor.

The next postee opened a hellgate.

 

London is overrated anyway.

The next poster put raisins in the cookie dough.

 

Off-topic: My word, you caught the reference. I thought I was the only entity in the universe that is aware of that underrated gem.

OT: Heck No! That wasn't me, I hate raisin too. :sick:

The next poster doled out the pain.

 

I had orders.

The next poster hasn't showered since the year 1997.

 

I told you already, I don't need a shower. Just the occasional polishing and oiling.

The next poster forgot to do maintenance.

 

Chief of cave say rock no need maintenance, rock always function and when not get new rock from cave.

The next poster caused the SCP-Foundation to [DATA EXPUNGED].