Corrupt a wish V.2

What's the price you'll pay..? Don't you care what they say?

I wish to lose myself in a familiar song. To close my eyes and slip away!

 

Granted, you die while listening to it, and the song is stuck in your head for the rest of eternity.

I wish I could actually write down my ideas.

 

((I couldn't ask for a better song to have stuck in my head))
Granted, but you must carry around an oversized notebook and the only available writing tools are crayons.

I wish I could could memorize any formula just by looking at it.

 

Granted, you can't remember people's faces though.

I wish I had some sort of a meaningful sleep pattern.

 

Granted, you end up going to bed at 9:00 and waking really early. (Try it! It's actually not bad once you get used to it.)

I wish @Firebird Zoom would GET THE F*CKING REFERENCES!

 

Granted, he now just ignores them to troll you.

I wish for more SCIENCE! to happen.

 

Granted. You are an employee of Black Mesa Research Facility, oh look who's late...

I wish I knew what I was talking about half the time.

 

Granted, but the other half the time you have to spend figuring it out.

I wish I could swap between accents quickly and easily.

 

Granted, but you forget your first language! Dios mio!

I wish for a glove made of sponge!

 

Granted but it's always uncomfortably dank.

I wish for American citizenship.

 

Well, I figured you didn't want to live in America due to riots, shootings and all the like, so I took the liberty of getting you a South American citizenship! Honestly, it's for your safety.

I wish for a disco ball to bludgeon people with.

 

Granted, but whenever you hit a person with it it tells your embarassing secrets for everyone in a 5km radius to hear.

I wish for more cigars.

 

Granted, but all of them have been chewed on by someone else.

I wish for a nice standing microphone.

 

Granted, but you become a mute.

I wish for a significant other.

 

Wish granted, here's "The one"
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c5/Number-One.JPG

I wish I had a clue.

 

Granted, you get exactly one clue. For what though, nobody knows.

i wish I wasn't shy.

 

Granted, but you now have crippling anxiety.

I wish I understood UV mapping.

 

Me too.

I wish I had better coordination.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

 

granted. Your coordination is perfect, but also backwards.

I wish for a new hammer. And an new Bow. And a new mortar.

 

Granted, but the mortar shot the bow, turning it into holes, and than the hammer broke the mortar, therefore your gift is a broken hammer from breaking something very solid, a beautiful bow with holes in it, and a paper flat mortar

Edit: Oh no, I forgot to say my wish, oh well, better luck next time >.<