Can you do me a favour?

I'd need you to restore my fate in humanity first.

Do me a favour and make my Rattata the 1% of all Rattatas.

 

I would, but the 99% perfect of other Rattatas have already started a protest camp in Goldenrod City and made up a hashtag.

Do me a favour and make cup noodles cheaper.

 

I just can't say no to this.

Do me a favour and make me forget things.

 

I would, but that would start another war with China.

Do me a favour and show me the true meaning of love-

 

I would, but your tea obsession worries me; I'm forcing you to quit!

Do me a favour help me get the stove set up.

 

I would, but noone trusts me with stoves anymore after I almost set a camo net on fire.
(That one is actually true, btw.)

Do me a favour and restore my honor.

 

I would but I haven't figured out how to steal that yet.

Do me a favour and get me a cookie thiiiiiiiiiis big.

 

I would but we're waiting for you.

Do me a favour and get me a nice suit.

 

I would but I got fur all over it

Do me a favour and get me a lint roller that actually works

 

Sorry but my lint roller has about 2 kilos of cat hair on it already

Do me a favor and stop the feminists who want to kill me

 

I would but I don't wanna get political

Do me a favour and abolish milk, it is disgusting and gross cow nut.

 

I would but my friend @MilkCalf would do unspeakable things if I abolish milk.

Do me a favor and explain why so many poor witches got burned alive.

 

I would but I'm in the process of being burnt alive at the moment.

Do me a favour and... (skip to 0:43)

 

I would, but Charlatan sent me better music.

Do me a favour and make my beard grow.

 

I would but a beard on a mini anime girl looks weird

do me a favour and give me stuff to do

 

YOU WHAT!?

I would... but you're too busy dying!

Edit: Do me a favour and drown me in kitties.

 

I would but you did those angry eyes at me.

Do me a favour and abolish milk and MilkCalf.