Spelling and Grammar

Hey guys,

I've been playing some of the Beta today and I've really been enjoying it so far. However, I came across some things that may sound nitpickity, but will definitely improve the reception of the game if changed.

In the Monster Log, under the entry of the Jellyfish, there are two errors:

should be

(gasses-gases is US-GB spelling respectively - both are in fact correct)
Also, in all other occurences of 'jellyfish', the word has been capitalised. I don't know what the intention was, but maybe consistency should be kept and the last instance of the word in the entry should also be capitalised.

In the Rock Golem entry:

should be

Again, I know it sounds like I'm being a whiney prick, but I'm just telling you the things I spotted myself that will help improve the game.

Thank you for your time.

 

No worries. English is a squirrely little bastard and I'm sure they'll appreciate the advice.

 

I'm sure they will appreciate it. More polish = better :]

 

There are a few instances that say "fears" enemy when it probably should read "scares" enemy.

 

Polish? I thought it was supposed to be English

*Badumtsh*

 

Probably not. "Fearing" is generally used in games to indicate that enemies are inflicted with the "Feared" status effect, meaning different things in different games. Status effect inflictions are commonly turned into verbs and while sometimes grammatically nonsensical, it happens so much in games in such obvious places, that people always know what's going on.


I was checking out the Items in the Item Log and found a few more:
Burning Witness:

should be

Also, the Massive Leech Item first states that the item is "Giant leeches found in the pools of Hyperion 5", but then continues to refer to a leech or the leech as a species. It may be better to call it "A giant leech found in the pools of Hyperion 5".

Massive Leech:

should be something along the lines of

The 'proportions' thing takes care of the repetitiveness of the double "sizes" and the "up to" handles the grammar.

Disposable Missile Launcher:

should be

or maybe even

Lost Doll:

should be

and then the next passage:

should be

Heaven Cracker:

should be

The 'can be used' sentence is a bit wonky, but that's passable. Either remove the 'both', or replace the 'or' with 'and' and then change swap into its gerund form.

In Leeching Seed, there's another occurrence of 'ballon' which should be 'balloon'.
Furthermore, there's this sentence, with which I don't know quite what to do, I'm afraid:

I highlighted the problem area. My best guess is this, but I don't really know what you were trying to say:

In Prison Shackles, the words 'more then dirt' are used where it should have been 'more than dirt'.

Sprouting Egg: 'at a warmer climate should be 'in a warmer climate'.

Beating Embryo:

should be

Rusty Jetpack's Order Description reads

but surely that should say

Atg Missiles Mk. 2's Order Description details 'missiles that deals' which should be 'missiles that deal'.

The Alien Head 'wards sickness' but should 'ward off sickness'.


That's all I could find!

---
Don't get me wrong here - your language is fine, excellent even, in most occurences. There are just these that I found that could improve.

Reading all the descriptions of the Items and the Monsters really cracks me up. I loved the Barbed Wire's reference to... well... you know what it's a reference to.

 

Lol Shrooblord the Master of Grammar and Spelling.
Good catches.
I've seen many of these, fixing problems like this is good as well, I've got nothing to contribute here but I'm sure there will be more silly problems in the future.

 

I love how you guys seem to care about this as much as I do.

I just did a check of a couple things, and noticed these.

In the monster log entry for Lemurian.

"Around 7' tall, with scaley skin not different from that of a lizard."​

How about?

"Around 7' tall, with scaly skin, not different from that of a lizard."​

In the item log order description for Fire Shield

"After taking more then 10% of your health as damage, explode for 200% damage."​

The error is caused by not pronouncing similar words with subtle differences.

"After taking more than 10% of your health as damage, explode for 200% damage."​

Wouldn't that be 'of their own accord'?

Often times, I make mistakes by starting to type in one way, and ending in another.
How about?

"Why I'm bothering to tell you all this is beyond me."​

​

EDIT: Well, I messed that up. It's mostly fixed, but the indent tags seem to be buggy.
In the item log entry for Concussion Grenade
"Fires pellets intended for stunning, not for killing! SWAT teams will kill for these, but any men you have on the field should use fragmentation grenades instead."
This one has been bugging me for a while. I'm not quite sure how to fix it, though.

Also, I hate how the forums parse multiple spaces so that I can't double space after a period. Especially since the game seems to use fixed width fonts. Double spacing after a period is recommended if you use a fixed width font. If you don't use such a font, I'll be the only person that single spaces will bother.

 

Quite possibly - I don't even know, myself!

​

What I corrected is a correct English sentence and people say it all the time. 'I'm bothering to tell you' is okay too, of course, but, eh, it doesn't really matter which we use.​

 

I just got the Wandering Vagrant's log, and found this.
"A massive variant of the jellyfish seen earlier, this behemoth hovers in the air, searching for something"
I'm sure it's fine already, but I was thinking maybe...
"A massive variant of the jellyfish seen earlier. This behemoth hovers in the air, searching for something"
or
"A massive variant of the jellyfish seen earlier; this behemoth hovers in the air, searching for something"

I meant to make that latter suggestion sound like it was just a matter of opinion. Sorry if I confused.

 

Haha this issue was bothering me too, but i didn't want to say anything. Good on ya, shroob.

 

I noticed that in the Order Description for Rapid Mitosis, it uses the lowercase letter 'x' as a multiplication symbol. While this is perfectly fine, if the game's font has unicode support, it might be better to use '×' instead.

EDIT: This would apply to other instances of this as well, Rapid Mitosis was just where I noticed it.

EDIT 2: When the LOG item for the Ancient Wisp is picked up, the text that appears says "Legendary Wisp". The monster log entry still says Ancient Wisp, however.

EDIT 3: In the monster log for Greater Wisp
"Tougher then the Rock Golem, faster then the Lemurian, and harder hitting then both combined."
Should be
"Tougher than the Rock Golem, faster than the Lemurian, and harder hitting than both combined."

 

New post rather than an edit, since this is the fourth one in a row that I've found.
In the Order Details for The Hit List
"Don't forget.. don't forget what they did.."
Should be
"Don't forget… don't forget what they did…"
Or, if there's no unicode support in the game's font.
"Don't forget... don't forget what they did..."

 

I've noticed that all instances of where I myself would put '...', this game has '..'. I've seen that before in text and other games and I think it's just a stylistic choice. I'm not sure whether there are actually grammatical rules for that or not.

 

This one confused me. So, there's a monster that in the Monster Log that's called "Sand Crab". But when picking up the LOG item in-game, the pop-up text says "Giant Decapod", which I assume is (and would prefer to be) the proper name of the monster.

Named after these?

 

Literally it just means 'Giant Ten-foot', but it could make sense. I think there's multiple name mismatches. The Ancient Wisp is named Legendary Wisp when it kills you, for example.

 

Oh, also, if the Giant Stone Golem lands the killing blow on you, it says you were killed by "Colossus".

Yeah, pretty much.

 

It kind of looks like the big one in the middle.

I think it should get that name. Colossus sounds powerful, Giant Stone Golem generic.